03:26 - 20.03.08
Elevation
Not a lot to say tonight dear diary. Most of the day was spent sending out more resumes. This time I concentrated on job postings where one submits an application through the company's own website, eliminating the chance that they don't get through the email route. On some of the sites there are even on-line tests that one does as a pre-screening exercise. Hmmm. The balance of my time was spent adding in additional details to the on-line family tree. It doesn't seem like a lot when one starts, but the continuous switching between screens to enter each piece of data is time consuming. Guess it's necessary because of the multiple layers of relationships though. Other than that, I just played with the cats and exercised. I'm still feeling very stressed, and missing a call from the one financial specialist didn't help my morale, but I don't want to be a negative Nelly and whine at you either. Get a grip, "be a man". "Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist." Ralph Waldo Emerson. Only I'm not a man nor have I ever wanted to be one, although I have had to be a non-conformist and that is something I am very comfortable with. I always felt sorry for the males in our conmmunity when I was growing up. They had to go to work while the women stayed home cuddling their children. Why would any female choose to trade places. Of course, I grew up when almost all mothers stayed home. I only envisioned leaving home as an adult to look after patients as a nurse. Nurturing others was always my ambition, but it just hasn't worked out that way.
I did have a curious, and somewhat disturbing, dream last night. I dreamt I was at one of those big coffee chains getting a latte. The odd thing was that even though it was located in a downtown office building, it was several stories up in the complex. Most of those chains here are either in the main lobby or up one in the plus fifteen (overhead pedestrian bridge) level. There were also an unusual number of young children present. I concluded it must be early morning, when parents are picking up breakfast items before dropping their little ones off at one of the downtown daycares. The light coming from the windows seemed to suggest a just-after sunrise time too. It had been easy to catch the up elevator to that coffee shop and it had been full of happy smiling people. However, the attempt to catch one going down was another issue. There were two separate elevators. One seemed to be going up only, so I tried to get on the other since I needed to get back to the street lobby level. That one kept opening it's doors and allowing other passengers to enter, but those doors always closed as I tried to step on. I asked one of the caretakers if there were stairs down to the main level, but was told those were off-limits. It would be too difficult to safely gain ground level, he said. It seemed as though someone or something kept pushing me to take the other elevator going up with all those cheery people on board, but it meant I wouldn't be able to get where I felt I needed to be. It seemed I had an appointment you see. Finally, there was no one waiting for the down elevator. I made a rush for the inside of that car as the doors opened. Those doors became malleable and literally tossed me out of the car. I tried again and managed to gain partial entry, but then those doors closed on me and pushed me out forcefully again. I was told that the only way I would be able to travel in that car was if I was willing to lose a finger in payment. Blood money or sacrifice, I guess. At that point I felt pain and woke up very disturbed by the entire experience. I'm guessing the dream has to do with my job search, but I'm not certain how to find my way to that other elevator that goes up instead of down. Any suggestions dear diary? I'll wait for you in the dreamtime. Good night.
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