03:31 - 19.03.08
Deja vu
After last night's adventure I found I couldn't fall asleep. The event had retriggered all that bad energy from the one and only other time that the safety of my home had been compromised by outside sources. That was in November of 2000 when there was a break-in at my home during the day, while I was administering the federal election that had been called three weeks earlier. The vandals had trashed my home and stolen my jewelry, as well as most of my sons' electronic gear and music/games collections. The gear they had gathered over many years by combining birthday and Christmas money with money earned through their flyer routes and other odd jobs. The jewelry was mostly gifts my parents had given me over the years at Christmas and my birthdays. They had bought a lot of it from my uncle who, because he was a jeweller, meant some of those pieces were quite valuable, or irreplacable, in addition to its' sentimental value. The insurance adjuster came just short of accusing me of setting the whole thing up "because that's what single mothers on welfare do to raise money". He also stated that poor people - like me - couldn't claim to have owned jewelry of value, given their current "disgraced" state. While true I was a single parent by then, it was not true that I was on welfare nor had I ever been. As I've noted before, dear diary, I always had one or two jobs on the go to provide for my sons and myself. Not one penny did I collect from any welfare organization. Ever. He seemed to totally disregard what I was saying, until I sent a letter of protest to the head office of the company citing the fact that I had paid my insurance premiums for a couple of decades and that the malicious stereotyping was close to grounds for a human rights complaint, as well as being slanderous. They had taken my money with no difficulty over those years and I expected them to treat me equally with any other client they might have.
When the police confirmed that a break and enter ring had been operating out of the local high school and that there had been multiple similar incidents ,"same MO", on my street and in the community, they said they had no doubt that the same individuals had been involved in tearing up my home too. They asked if I knew the teenager living nearby, who they deemed leader and organizer of that group. They said he had a police file several inches thick. Lack of co-operation from the staff at the high school as well as his parents, was impairing their ability to get the evidence they needed to prosecute that boy and his gang they stated. The adjuster then demanded I gain the reports from the other b & e's from the police for him, so he could justify settling my claim. He claimed the police would not release those to him. If that was so, then why would they release them to me? And why was he demanding that I do his job for him. In the end, the boys' material was replaced, but nothing was ever done about my jewelry. As I was working 16 to 20 hours a day, every day, at that time because of the election, and because of some of the problems being caused by the one political party at that time, I didn't have any time or energy left at the end of the day to deal with the jerk. Decided that as long as my guys were taken care of it would have to be good enough to be getting on with. That incident and subsequent treatment I received still really bothers me. All that angst was retriggered after I finally absorbed what happened last night.
When I did wake later in the day, I spoke with the male who had offered to help me with the financial problems this long bout of unemployment has caused. I asked him about his response to an email I had sent him the day before, providing more information on some insurance I had bought years ago through the credit card providers to protect me in cases of illness or loss of employment. He said that, like the house insurance I mentioned above, that the credit card companies rarely honoured their commitments undertaken by those policies. It isn't only thieves that shake one down these days, is it dear diary. I didn't choose to become ill nor to have such a long recovery time necessary. I caught that superbug while in the care of the hospital. I was being responsible for my health by trying to get early intervention/treatment so I wouldn't have to be admitted, not otherwise, and this was the outcome. Whine with cheese please. His statement about not receiving my latest e-mail sent on Monday rattled me and sent the paranoia level for me even higher. I re-sent it immediately using the same email address, wondering as I did so how many of the job applications I had sent out the past few days had also not reached their destinations. Some days it just seems as though there is someone going out of their way to sabotage my every effort. He was very soothing about the mix-up, but in the end I'm the one who has to deal with the consequences of all these constant problems. It is very difficult not to become completely frozen and discouraged, when it seems each day brings another barrier to progress.
Oh well. Time to go back to bed. Good night dear diary.
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