00:11 - 24.04.06
nightmares
I had one of those "What's the use" days starting midday yesterday and decided not to inflict myself on you dear diary. I am well aware that I can hold forth and rant with the best of them, but I try to do that with topics where there is actually some sort of action I or someone else can take to improve things. Yesterday it wasn't feeling that way. Bleagh.
Earlier I was feeling rather proud of myself because I thought I had solved the "We need more documentation" conundrum that the one caller from EC had created for me. Remembered that I did in fact actually have some of the missing paperwork, but not in the format that I was told to submit it. The reason I can't submit it in the other format? Well you see, there are these things called government forms, numbered in their thousands, each specific to a different reporting requirement. The software containing those forms was removed from access for us when the Lan we used during the election was shipped off to wherever. All that software is purged from the computers in a very long, drawn out process and then we have permission finally to close out the office. Oh happy days. I had emailed my finance officer to ask for clarification, but she didn't seem to know what else was required either. She's done this job for three elections. So it follows, doesn't it, that if she doesn't know what they're asking for I'm not really all that stupid either. I felt so good about figuring out a solution to that little problem that I decided that I might as well stay on a roll and submit my taxes. We have until May 1st. Nothing like procrastinating is there. I had put all the bits of paper and receipts together in one of my drawers all together and I knew they were all accounted for when I pulled out number four son's set of documents a week or two ago.
Yesterday I went through every drawer in that room several times and one piece of paper was just not there. The envelope was still in place and it had something else I had put with it but the T4 and the ROE were both gone. Now that was the money - my tax refund - that I still had left to tide me over until I am ready to go back to work. It isn't just an inconvenience if it is lost. I know that number four son didn't have it because I went through my paperwork drawer for him. No one is supposed to touch anything in there and all the boys know that. At that point the paranoia was setting in. There had been one afternoon when my youngest and I went for groceries and returned home to find both locks unlocked, even though I had gone back and checked it a second time when the mean neighbours drove up just as we were leaving. I had just wanted to be certain that I hadn't let them see us leave and risk them entering while we were gone. When I realized that door wasn't locked when we returned I checked throughout the house, but didn't see anything amiss. I know it sounds crazy, but I have had legal documents that were of a personal nature go missing before and then had them reappear a long time later. I think I've mentioned before that I have learned that the boy's Dad was in the house during that time - ostensible "visiting". I also know that the boys have "returned" things to him that he deems to be his and that is fine except for the legal material. My tax information is none of his business, but I know from previous conversations that he has claimed expenses he wasn't entitled to and I think he needs to see my information in order to make it look legitimate. For all I know it could have been him that called the employment branch of the government and made that assertion that I was on retainer with EC.
He has always been destructive and underhanded that way. Causing me as much financial distress as possible has always been one of his favorite ways of punishing me. It would really rankle with him that I have managed to pay off all the debts he ran up before he left and to see me actually get to the point where I can enjoy some reward for the work I have had to take on to raise the boys on my own. The fact that I have a line of credit to fix the house would really irritate him since he left it damaged to begin with. Often in the first few years after he left, he would come by when I was out to "visit", although I had asked the boys not to let him in, and there would always be damage to the appliances or the structure - the plumbing for example - after he left. Never could prove it was his doing though. That stopped a few years back when I called one of the police officers I had volunteered with and asked him what I could do to make him stop. After about a two hour lecture on being more careful around the boys' dad - he made some suggestions and for whatever reason the vandalism stopped. That police officer was killed in a car accident about the time I was really ill and I didn't know about it until long after the fact. That was a real kick in the gut in and of itself. If he had been the one to talk with the boys' dad about his vandalism, I imagine that he would now feel he didn't have to worry about consequences again. As I noted though, I could just be really paranoid, but then where is that paperwork? One good guy out of my life and many other people's too and one bad guy seeming to start up on me again. Why can't he just go away and leave me be? So there you go dear diary, it was just too much of a kick in the gut yesterday to have that kind of problem looming up back in my life again just when I was beginning to think that things might go well for a change. Probably just my imagination right? Hope so. Good night.
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