00:49 - 10.04.06
steppin out
The phone rang just as I was finishing up my post to you, dear diary. It was after 3 in the am. What's up with that? A cabbie calling to say number four son's cell phone had died, but he wanted to know if he could stay at our home for the balance of the night. Sure no problem, but what was going on? I think it was one of those "night out with the boys" a little too much to drink, and cold feet where his partner's family is concerned issues. That family is the one force feeding their faith down his throat by threatening to ostracize her if he doesn't accept. The two of them care for each other deeply. That is obvious. It also is apparent, though, that she is trying to please one of her parents who is not at all happy with her marrying outside her own church. Now I have several friends who are in marriages where even their faiths are entirely different, let alone the congregation of choice. Their marriages have stayed healthy because each respects the other individual's right to their own faith - Muslim (birthday of the Prophet Mohammed), Jewish, Christian, Buddhist - and refuses to allow outsiders, including the institutionalized faith groups, to interfere or meddle with their lives. Most have managed a balance or blend of faith practices within their family circle that is truly inspiring. You know that line in the bible that goes something like "leaving one's family and cleaving to one's mate"? I think that's the reason for it. The commitment is supposed to be between those two people to each other, not their families' old baggage be it ethnic, cultural or faith based. There would be a lot less war and a lot more loving in the world if that one little directive was honoured. I know my son well. He is one of those Taurus' who can be pushed so far and then it stops. If this family doesn't quit harassing him about joining their church, even though he believes else wise and is guaranteed that right in our Charter of Rights, they may find that he will provide child support and parenting to the new baby, but that they will destroy the marriage even before it happens. Quite honestly I think that one organization is acting more like a cult than a faith system. Faith systems are based on mutual respect for each other's perception of the face of the divine. There could be no book that provokes a more lively debate than the Pirke Avot of the Jewish community. It is meant to make you think and it is one of the best debates I've ever had where no one else was physically present. Those wise men just wanted one to really thoroughly think about what they believed to be true. Then there is that line about an unexamined faith not being worth having (Elton Trueblood)too. Number four son just kept repeating that he was home as he talked about what was bothering him. It is obvious that he feels that he doesn't fit in anywhere yet and the conditions for doing so are not acceptable to him.
The other trigger seemed to be the new job he began a week ago. He likes the work and the company, but the heated job market is so competitive that there is now a pattern emerging that is going to cause a great deal of dysfunction in a lot of workplaces. It is a choice by employers that is almost the exact opposite of the offer my youngest got and turned down last week. All the new hires that were brought on with number four son are being paid more than the staff that was hired a year ago. That staff has significantly more training than the new workers. They would likely be considered supervisors or trainers at the very least. My son says the anger on the floor of the workplace is palpable. It is the employers' responsibility to upgrade the status of their senior staff, but rather than direct their complaints and anger to their bosses, the senior workers are coming down on the new hires instead. When I was speaking with one of my sisters, she said the same thing was happening at her spouse's workplace. He has his journeyman's tickket and is the supervisor but the new people he is supposed to supervise, because they don't have their training, are being taken on at a higher rate of pay. It appears that because any labour is scarce that employers are now finding it necessary to offer higher wages to entry level staff or they just can't get anyone. At one retail outlet, customers were being asked if they would come to work immediately. The comment was if they couldn't find anyone soon, they would have to close up the store. That is great for new workers, but I would think that not adjusting the pay rates and benefits for senior staff could almost be construed as constructive dismissal. Hmmm.
Once number four son had slept a bit and spoken with me and his partner for a while he left for home. After nearly 24 hours of no sleep my youngest and I finally went to sleep in our respective rooms. All the cats felt they needed to sleep with me though. He starts work tomorrow, so we really needed to get his CSA approved safety boots regardless of the early morning drama. Sunday isn't the greatest day to shop if one's schedule is messed up, because most stores close around the supper hour. I have no problem with that, but the fact that transit offers about a quarter of the service of a regular weekday does cause me concern. For example, almost all service is reduced to once an hour after 6 pm and then most routes are closed down after 8 pm. Try navigating that when one needs to make connector busses too. I realize that their drivers need their days off and the busses need maintenance, but it means those of us without other forms of transportation are basically hamstrung on those days. Just as an aside, Art Buchwald, the current Pope Benedict, and JK Rowling have never had driver's licences either. I'm not in bad company after all. Anyway we managed to get to one of the big box stores, pick up the gear he needs and get home within 2 hours. It was a nice warm evening with a partial rainbow and deep grey thunder heads filling the sky. The new medicine recommended by that one sports figure has given me enough energy and to spare for such outings. I'm grateful for that.
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