00:35 - 11.04.06
rebalance the scales
My youngest began his first job - other than working for me - today. It was obvious he had first day jitters, but then again I still do too even though I can find myself walking into a new assignment two or three times in one year. I think what it is is the issue of details. Do they have a kitchen with facilities like a microwave. Where do I get coffee - well that is always my first check other than where the powder room is located. Essentials you know. Where will I stow my purse. Once those little details are worked out then one can focus on their tasks, right? I had explained to him that I found it helpful to prepare everything I need the day before. That way if the alarm doesn't go off, or if it is one of those "can't get going days" you've built in a little time for yourself. Regardless of how methodical you are, there are also the days when everything you touch seems to fall apart. Those are the "six pair of pantyhose days". You know, the mornings where each pair of pantyhose you pull on develops a run the size of Texas just as you've finally got them up to your waist? Not that my son wears pantyhose ever - nor do I in summer - but always there are little things that can trip one up so that you lose 20 minutes without even realizing it. Bad enough when you have your own vehicle, but absolutely deadly if one is dependent on transit. The one thing entry level employees or contractors know is that being on time weighs heavier with supervisors than anything else you do during the day. He managed to make it to work on time today, but just. I suggested that he make a habit of arriving a few minutes early instead. That way if any of the scenarios above happen - and they will - then again one has bought oneself the luxury of some time too. He said he met his production quota today and that the supervisor said he had exceeded expectations for a first week worker. That is a good sign, I guess.
While my youngest was gone, I started creating a new routine for me. Those immune system boosters I picked up are working and I now find I have enough energy now to get through the day awake and active. The proviso being that the "Active" part is scattered through the hours. Periods of sitting are still necessary, as is a short nap. Still better than it was. Got a response from the landlord about rental of the office space again in the next few months if necessary if parliament dissolves. He said he could give no guarantees. The space is vacant today, but he has a number of companies considering it. That was what I expected. Forwarded his response on to headquarters through the local rep, as directed. We'll see where that one takes things. Started doing the detailed chores necesary to get ready for a "big clean". Because I can't sustain long periods of physical activity yet, that means breaking jobs for each room down to their smallest component and then doing just a few of those each day. I keep reminding myself that each time I do even one small thing, it means there is one less hurdle to go. Truthfully, when I think of the amout of work necessary just to get to the big clean moment I feel terribly overwhelmed. Part of that is just no patience. I have to adopt the point of view of a craftsman where each stroke matters. Have to find a photo of St Theresa to stick up on my walls I guess. Had a bit of a chuckle when my one sister called. She lives in a community just outside Calgary. It was cool and rainy here today, but there, a few miles away, it had been snowing and windy all day long. Guess I shouldn't laugh though, next time it will be the reverse circumstances. She was talking about how frstrating it had been to try and run errands when the weather wasn't co-operating. She has a house full of children who she needs to chauffeur to school and other appointments, as well as take care of regular household chores. Organizing the time to fit everything in is always a challenge. It reminded me of when the boys were small and their dad was still at home.
When the boys' Dad was still at home I would always be certain to be up and helping him prepare for his day - making lunches, sewing up clothes that seemed to need repairs constantly, pulling together paperwork and such, finding keys, shoes and other things he lost track of the evening before. At the end of his work day I would ensure that supper was very close to ready for when he was to return home. Of course the problem with him was that the returning home part became less and less predictable over time, as he focussed most of his energy on his good time pals, blaming it on the boys and me for his absence. We weren't as much fun, and yet when he did actually show up, it was always just to plop down in front of the television demanding quiet and no interaction from anyone at all. Then he would complain when we would find other things to keep us busy. You know like after school activities for the boys. I was usually volunteering to help with those functions, because they wouldn't have been possible for my sons or anyone else's either. That way the boys' dad got his "quiet" and "time for himself" too, but that never seemed to be good enough either. Oh well. Doesn't change the fact that an extra hand when preparing for an outside the house work day is usually a bit of a boost. My youngest deserves a positive start to his day, now that he is working, just as his brothers got when they were in school and I was there to get them out the door. He didn't have that during his school days since his dad left just as he started school. I had to be out of the house long before the boys got up in order to be on time for my job(s). The best I could do was get as much ready for them the evening before and then call them from work to check in about the time I knew they needed to get up to go to school. Even that was dicey some days depending on the employer I had. Some wouldn't tolerate calls to home even if it wasn't on their time. It also didn't help much on the mornings when something just wasn't going right for one or several of the boys. You know - test jitters, lost homework, can't find my socks, or "I don't have time to make myself some toast" that sort of thing that is so easy to smooth over when you are physically present. It is one of the things that bothered me most about work out of the home. Not being there when I was needed. The older boys had had at least a few years of a good start to the day, but my youngest missed out on that. I can't change those circumstances, and had no other options then either, but I can at least make mornings pleasant for my youngest, now for a while. Maybe there's a reason for that but I can't see what it would be. Anyway time for bed so I can try to make tomorrow morning a good start too. Good night dear diary.
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