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Night mares
Nightmares about spreadsheets changing into bizarre formats that hid part of the data that needed to be dealt with and nightmares about what I would write and how my supervisor would receive my letter about taking another position. The what ifs - what if they don't like me, what if they change their minds, what if, what if... It was just easier to get up and do some housework as try and cope with the dreaming fears.
Read the newspaper. There has been a two part analysis of the one aspect of voter fraud that hasn't been addressed yet. The involvement of members of the provincial government in systemic abuse of the process. I'm glad some of this is coming to light, but I hope there are enough people out there actually taking it in. By comparison, four sections of the paper yesterday were devoted to the collapse of the NHL talks and it was two or three today. You know there is something seriously amiss in our society when a for profit league with labour troubles is given more space that something that is fundamental to the existence of our government. Anyone who thinks that isn't important should take a real close look at what happens in dictatorships like Iran, China,Indonesia, Myanmar, most African states and those in South America as well. "You don't know what you've got til its gone" Big Yellow Taxi/Joni Mitchell. Think it can't happen here? Ask anyone from Argentina who survived the '70's or anyone from Germany who was there when Hitler came to power. At that time, both nations were considered the flower of culture and scientific advancement. Both fell hard and fast.
One interesting website I visited yesterday is an adventure travel resource just for women. Treks I want to go on all of them. Where's that lottery ticket. I signed up for their newsletter and asked them when they might be putting together a trek through Egypt, Mesopotamia, whatever. The other site I tried was just strange. There was a banner up in the C-train advertising it, so I thought it would be worth checking out. Cure. I'm not sure what they are trying to get at, but killing germs in a petri dish was fun. Ok so it doesn't take much to amuse me. I think I was visualizing the germs from the office - you know from the people who have pneumonia right now. This was vicarious intervention - maybe if I can zap those critters in electronic form they won't be able to take hold in my lungs. I spent a good part of today sleeping because my body was obviously trying to fight something off. We can use all the help we can get I think. Only other work on the computer was sending out thank you emails to the people who had acted as references for me and sending that one email to my supervisor to let him know I was moving on. Sent another email to the head of security in Ottawa, just updating him with respect to the newspaper stories too. Two nightmares dealt with in real time maybe.
Anyway time to go back to bed again I think. Provincial holiday tomorrow so I can sleep in and maybe there'll be good dreams instead of the scary stuff. We'll see.
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