11:24 - 04.11.07
Shop Around
Friday started out with a surprise. My youngest tossed in the newspaper and mail as he was leaving the house for work. Picked up the package and noticed a letter from a service provider that I cancelled back in April. The cable company. I had paid them off long ago, so was curious to see what they were sending me. A bill - a big one at that - for reconnecting my services. What???? I called their service number right away, only to be told I had requested that when I cancelled the hookup in April. Well actually not, because I still have the package mailed to me at that point that listed all the available choices I had should I want to reconnect the service in the fall. The next comment from the agent was that I should have called to cancel or challenge the hook up when I first noticed it - her notes told her it was reconnected October 25. I had switched on my television as I called to complain and still saw only the four local channels when I used the channel changer. I stated that fact when she mentioned it. As I did so, the cable connection started up. Uh huh. I told her I wanted that service removed immediately with a letter coming to me confirming I would not be billed for a service connected without my request, knowledge, or consent. It was obvious from her comments that the company tries to do this on a regular basis, then turns around and tells customers that it is an opt-out contract that requires the client to anticipate such a sales tactic. What if someone came into my home and installed an item without my consent. I think that would be called trespassing, just to start. Consumers can't be forced to accept goods or services delivered to their "doors" unless they have requested them - in writing - first. They reinstated the cable signal this morning, after they had removed it the once. Not only that, but only those stations numerically higher than 3 of the four local channels were re-instated. If I hadn't wanted to check a program on that one station I wouldn't have noticed the re-instatement. Sneaky and dirty tactics that should be illegal if they aren't already. I did call them this morning and was reassured that the reinstated signal would be turned off before tomorrow. I think that the company got my message rather clearly this time because I didn't bother to hide how upset I was. I guess I'll know by Monday.
This weekend my body and bones felt really brittle. It seemed as though they might shatter if any type of impact was experienced. We heard of wind warnings from the storms to the south of us, at the same time that feeling was at it's worst - when I was at the grocery store and when travelling home from my piecework assignments yesterday. My youngest said a lot of people at his work were experiencing severe weather migraines so at least I know it wasn't just in my head. Well yes it was, but physically not mentally, if you see what I mean.
The balance of Friday was spent working on the suggestions by the two interviewers I saw on Thursday. Went through closets checking for "upscale" clothes - that fit. I have some very nice suits, but well, you know. Lose another 10 lbs and I'll be able to walk out the door in them without being completely embarassed. Checked websites of companies where I might want to work looking for the "image" the companies want to project to the clients and general public. Most photos were head shots, so I'm not cetain that they want to be obvious about it. Maybe there are some discrimination issues that would be imputed to them if they happened to leave out someone's expected visuals. Don't know. Started re-working the resume, emailing back and forth with the permanent placement agent. She apologized for being blunt, but I explained that I see that as a mark of respect rather than otherwise. I'm not offended by honesty as long as it isn't used as a putdown or attack on a person. That hasn't been the case at all with her. I think being honest is a real skill too - so many people don't want anything other than validation of what already exists in their environment. While one can always acknowledge that, it should not necessarily be interpreted as consent or approval to be continued. Sort of like the cable television issue noted above. That said one also doesn't have to accept an interpretation of one's life. The interviewer had a point of view diametrically opposite to one expressed by Bill Clinton in his speech "Embracing Our Common Humanity" on November 1, 2007 to the Vancouver Board of Trade. He said "Any woman who can raise three or more kids who turn out okay can run any company in the world." The interviewer's point had validity in that she was accknowledging a significant amount of ageism in the workplace - she being a decade older than me and having been subjected to some pretty outrageous assumptions herself. That said my parenting and volunteer ("Projects (or project management) completed with no budget, physical or operational resources, access to decision makers, or staff" or "How major projects were built when the first task was finding, motivating, mobilizing, and mentoring volunteers to donate thousands of free hours to the undertaking") work experience both offer significant value to any company that hires me. Whatever. At least by her expressing her opinions about my resume I can address some of the stereotyping that was raised instead of letting it unknowingly undermine me.
My youngest called on his way home from work Friday night. I think he had a hankering for Pho, not realizing how late it was. They were closed by the time we met at the bank. We went on to the grocery store instead. It was busy, but there were very few staff on-site. The shoppers all had very odd things about them, so people watching was at it's best. We went to the cash register of one of the young males who is really good at his job. He was obviously really upset - near tears. I asked if he had had an extra long shift. He nodded, mouth tight and a muscle twitching in his forehead. I guessed he had not been relieved for lunch, coffee or supper breaks, given the pallor of his face. I had been relieved not to see the cashier we had had the previous couple of visits because she has a nasty mouth on her - last time taunting me because I don't own a car - but I regretted her absence in light of this young guy's distress. Problem is that she wouldn't have been treated with so little respect on the same shift then, because she is older. The young guy is infinitely more professional and effective as a worker, but he is just out of his teens. I guess management felt they could bully him in a way they wouldn't with older staff.
Yesterday I had two piecework assignments to deal with. Two malls - one downtown and one in the south. I decided to try out one of the "upscale" wardrobe pieces I can fit into, because it was appropriate to the work of the day. Just playing with image and the response to it. It isn't just about what one wears you see - the expected mannerisms have to be there too or the response by observers can be quite strong. I have mostly dressed to blend in and down the past couple of decades, so it might require a bit of work to be comfortable being "visible" again. Certainly was a challenge at the Thursday interview where one felt on display in their storefront window waiting room, although oddly enough it wasn't at the theatre complex even while sitting in the theatre for the interview. I guess it is because mostly everyone in the theatre milieu would be aware that almost everything about most humans' behaviour is illusion in reality. Paradox squared.
The first difficult reaction was on the bus/train. Most people travelling that way in non-rush hour times dress very casually. I stood out like a sore thumb. How to look comfortable being different. It's been a while since I have bothered with that, but given the various cultural differences in dress in our community I just followed the lead of some of my more exotically clothed neighbours. Dressing up does motivate clerks to pay more attention to one, even though it is often the people dressed down who really have the money to spend in those stores. Learned that when I worked in retail long ago. One gentleman with a German accent noting the difference while waiting together at a street light. He was very pleasant and just said he found our local weather difficult to read. He didn't really know how to dress for it - as he gazed at my outerwear. I responded that it was no easier to judge as a local - just educated guesses really. You see, part of the problem was that it was cold enough in my part of town to wear the sweater coat I chose, but it was too warm for the weather in the south of the city. He had come from the same quadrant and had been caught out for the same reason choosing to wear a down jacket. At most malls people arrive in their vehicles, so under-dress for the weather. Block heaters keep them warm. One doesn't risk that when travelling by transit though.
I met one couple from our community in the south mall who demanded to know what I was doing there. I guess I could have asked them the same question, but they have a couple of vehicles so it doesn't seem as odd for them to travel the longer distances as it does for me. Short interrogation about what I had been up to for the past couple of years and then they headed off to wherever they had been going in the first place. I really did have to wonder why they were there in hindsight, since the same stores are all easily accessible in our own community. Hmmm. Anyway by the time I headed home from downtown it was very chilly again and less clothing would have been a risk to one's well-being - not that the teenagers riding the train noticed.
I wandered through a few shops in both malls looking at what is considered upscale office dress now. I was surprised to see so much material copied from the late 60's and early 70's. Cowl, boat, and turtlenecks, baby doll cuts and wrap dresses. Found one almost exactly like my favorite dress ever - the one I had when I was 6; not the size, the age. Velvet cords are back, but not in the high waisted cuts that flattered the hour glass figure so well. Sigh. I was particularly looking for skirts that would go with three jackets I can wear. All second hand, but beautiful all the same. I've been looking for a plain cut brown skirt - chocolate I think - because of the three slightly different beige/cream jackets. That hasn't been an "in" colour for quite sometime, but this year it is. Problem is that I still can't afford the prices I saw while shopping. Ditto for the black a-line skirts and for a very pretty imprinted subtle plaid on a basic black skirt. Very classy. I think that the sizes must have been reconfigured from when I was younger and last actually shopped at retail. The current size sixes seem to be the equivalent to the size 8s or 10s I have stashed in my closet from long ago. Hmm, vanity sizing.
On the way home one of my favorite buskers - Tom - singing outside the downtown site. A really rude group of women letting their children run wild, talking among themselves loudly making it nearly impossible to hear him. Interrupting the flow of traffic that usually drop coins into his guitar case. He actually had to leave for a while because the women were encouraging their children to "play" with the guitar man while he was trying to sing. One young male standing beside me on the train platform, looking about the same age as my youngest and about the same physical characteristics, left off reading his book to listen and then empathize with the singer. He seemed to think I needed a bit of protection too as he held the door for me and sat nearby just quietly watching. Maybe after four hours of walking and dealing with that bitter wind I looked peaky or maybe it was the sweater coat making me look less hardy or maybe he had noticed something I hadn't - I don't know. That's the other reason one dresses down when travelling on transit you see, makes one look streetwise and capable of taking care of ones'self.
Got home and spent another couple of hours on my feet doing housework - cats wrapping themselves around my ankles to protest my absence. Could also be that their litter boxes were emptied, while their water and food bowls were replenished. Just making certain it was up to their standards - supervising the house slave. Supper was ready just as my youngest walked in from work, so everyone else in the home was content settling in for sleep on a cool wintery evening. I settled in to surf youtube as a reward for a couple of good productive days, but I think I'll write about that when my youngest and the cats aren't vying for my attention. Talk with you later.
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