22:40 - 28.06.05
Divine intervention
When my youngest came to wake me from my nap last night, he was giving me a hard time. Apparently he had tried to wake me an hour ealier and I had told him to "read the instructions first". Well, it could have been worse. His take was that I was dreaming about work again. He said that my response wasn't as bad as during the election a year ago, but I honestly don't remember sleeping more than a few hours each day then anyway. Maybe he only thought I was sleeping. Then he commented that the time that I had been the worst, was when I was working on the contract that I had finally had to walk away from last October. I guess it must have taken over my mind. He said that I would be talking in my sleep about needing to get the reports written and the processes involved in trying to make certain that everything I did was documented and done within the requirements of the law. I guess that might explain why I was been getting sick so often. No breaks even when I was sleeping.
The rain hasn't stopped and the river keeps getting higher each time I see it. There is only one month in the entire recorded history of this area, in 1927, where we had more precipitation in a one month period. The weather announcer tonight said that it was expected we would break that record sometime this evening. All I know is that the weir near the zoo is almost completely under water and the river is nearly at the top of the banks just east of downtown. It hardly seems possible. This is a city that is known for it's extended hours of sunshine, so there are a lot of people who are not dealing well with the constant cloud and greyness. A lot of people are really on edge, because they can't deal with the difference between their expectation of what should be and the reality imposed by the actual conditions. I think it's that idea that we can control of our destiny, if only we control enough of the minutia of our everyday lives. When something happens that simply does not fit into that perception of our own power, then it makes us fearful of losing "control" completely. I think that is what is behind that new word ASBO in the Oxford dictionary. Where the greater the change in the underlying social conditions we've come to expect equals the greater the status quo tries to control even the smallest deviance from their idea of normal by draconian interdicts. I always think of the generational battle between clothes and personal appearance as a prime example. Does it really matter if some adolescent wants a nose ring? Will it really change anything that matters, if they have it? No it won't, but the repugnance expressed by some of my peers about those choices just shows how deeply embedded those "power over" issues are. The rain won't stop if that youngster removes that nose ring. It is not some magical connection to the changes that are occuring globally. It is simply a manifestation of it. Suppressing it or any other "deviant" appearance such as breast feeding in public won't make those change go away. Besides, "la plus ca change, la plus ca meme" (the more things change, the more they stay the same). And down the rabbit hole we go. Not all restrictions are bad of course. Saving lives or making the quality of life of citizens better isn't wrong. It is the measure of a society's maturity.
Only 17 days until the next Harry Potter book is released for sale and there has been one thing that has really had me wondering. Why that date for release? Ms Rowling rarely does anything at random. Checked the omens and found that there are two quite significant astrological events occurring on July 16. One is a Grand Trine in the Fire signs. Grand Trines/trinities are considered very favorable aspects, if they are complementary to one's own birth or progressed planets. At 22 degrees of Sagittarius is Pluto, Venus is at 22 degrees of Leo and her mate, Mr Mars, is at 22 degrees of Aries. The trine means they support and enhance/amplify each other's best characteristics - hmmmm. The effect being deemed greater than the sum of the parts.
That Grand Trine provides a grand processional as Saturn moves from Cancer into Leo. The last time Saturn was in Leo was from the autumn of 1975 until June of 1978. Saturn is the planet that rules lessons that must be learned, structure and the counting or use of time, if you want hints at what might be in store for you. I was working in the hospital in rehabilitation during that span of years. What I learned was what living and dying meant, in ways that are usually denied in a society that warehouses inconvenient things. You know, such as people who are weak or ill - who "can't pull their own weight", who are deemed less human or deserving, because they aren't producing wealth. I was witness to many who had near death experiences and that amplified the teachings of my own that had occurred in 1974. That was also the time when I first became a parent. Numbers one and two sons' births came at the beginning and end of that period. Both the work experience and the parenting experiences are still the sources of the greatest strength and understanding for me. They created the foundations and values that drive how I understand and interact with the world I perceive around me. In fact, they drive how I perceive reality as well. The tempering of the steel in the fire. Man, I'm tired already. That choice of releasing the book The Half Blood Prince on that particular day? On a social consciousness level, it may herald a lot. Or not. Don't want any book burnings because someone fears change do we?
It is funny that one small change to my appearance over the weekend caused some odd reactions at work today too (extending the metaphor). You see, it is my understanding that about one third of all one's hair is in growth mode at any one time. That was demonstrated to me some time ago, when I had a very severe case of pneumonia - the life threatening kind - just after the boys' dad walked out on us. All the hair on my head in the growth stage went snow white in a matter of days. The body wasn't having anything to do with producing melatonin (the pigment that gives hair it's colour) while it perceived a mortal threat, I guess. As you might have guessed, I experienced a similar, although not as severe, reaction during this last bout of illness. That time when my hair went white, most of it eventually grew back to it's normal colour - a year later. At this point in time, I also have some grey in the mix and the two together were making me look very washed out. I bought some L-Tyrosine to help the production of the melatonin begin again, but since some people were already limning me as fragile - which often translates to "incapable" in people's minds - I decided to dye my hair back to my original colour. For example, a lot of my co-workers were already finding it difficult to accept the idea that I outlasted everyone else in the dance classes, because of my recent bout of sickness and my age added in to it. Temporal dissonance. The dye job just seemed a good way to tidy up a lot of things. Being a bit rebellious right now, I also wanted amplify that temporal dissonances too - stereotypes based on really basic features like appearance, age, gender and physicality make me really cranky when applied to yours truly. The co-workers who have been working hard to pigeonhole my "type" or "place" in the department had a difficult time with my appearance today. The ones who accept me as I am, really liked it. Interesting what a cosmetic change with no substantive impact on the essence of a person can do, eh? I explained to a couple of the co-workers I really like, that I often make a point of growing out and enhancing the grey in my hair just before an election. I live in a community where women are not accepted in authority positions, unless they are old and grey or very well off. I can't pull off the wealthy profile, but I can do the physical appearance thing. Usually it wouldn't matter whether someone accepted my authority or not, but I don't have time during elections to build the trust or consensus necessary to gain compliance with my directions and I don't do "power over" by throwing my legislated weight around.
The only other interesting things at work today? My supervisor's supervisor came by, just to touch base with all the staff in our department today. Her absence on her holidays - three weeks I think - had meant her authority had faded a bit in some people's mind. It was interesting to watch how quickly that aura reasserted itself where some of the coworkers were concerned. I think it was a smart, low key move to rebalance some of the dynamics in the group. That personal touch. With each of us it was just a short, "how are things going with your project" and some chit chat. It matters a great deal, that one on one contact.
It was an interesting synchronicity, because today there was an article in one of the industry newsletters about the latest escapades of one of the owners of another company I worked for some years back. There were about 1000 employees in his employ and yet he still found ways to talk or interact with everyone from the newest temp there on up. I remember the first time I met him was less than a couple of weeks after I had started. This gentleman was handing out the company's latest Annual Report to each staffer. He was pushing a cart from the mailroom full of the documents and he was wearing khakis held up by red suspenders over a dress shirt. When he left, I commented to the coworker sharing the office that I thought he was really nice - was he one of the regular mailroom staff? I thought she was going to bust a gasket. She was so shocked that I didn't know who he was. Didn't matter. It set the tone for how I perceived the company, the work I did and my "place/value" in the company from that time forward. That one little gesture made me understand that what I did was considered valuable, even if it wasn't that flashy or important in the "grand scheme" of things. Personal touch and genuine sincerity/interest. Potent lessons.
The other series of things was the escapades of Fred the ghost. Several times my security card didn't work on the first swipe across the laser. Every time I logged out of the software I work on, the series of records I was coding would be scrambled when I returned, even if it was just five minutes later. When I picked up my telephone to return an outside the company call (references for one of the people who worked for me last election) there was that hollow echoing sound, that sometimes indicates that your call is being monitored. Given the nature of my call, privacy laws danced through my head and I had difficulty deciding what I could, in good conscience, say if my surmise about the listening/monitoring was correct. Fortunately, the person I was vouching for had been a really good worker and it was easy to give good positive statements that didn't compromise her privacy or reveal personal data. Whew.
Finally, when I got home there was another email from the alderman's office about the cat issue. Somewhere between yesterday and today it was decided that the alderman's office has no influence over the actions of the person who came to my door last week. I would have to call their supervisor at the agency directly. Called the agency and was told that that supervisor was on holidays until next week. Great. So what recourse do I have if there is more trouble with the power abuser in th interim. Guess I could call the one lawyer I know who enjoys dealing with ASBOmania, being something of a maverick himself, but I just want my babies to find good homes. It shouldn't have to be a battle if the goals of the person in question really are the protection of the lives of animals should it? If she still insists that euthanasia is her first recourse, I don't see what other options I'll have though. Time to tuck my babies in I guess and do some heavy duty praying for that deus ex machina thing. Good night dear diary.
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