23:09 - 08.05.05
Moms
Happy Mother's Day dear diary. I saw 4 of six of my guys today - the others called from work. Number two son's partner had her birthday today so it was very kind of her to share part of her day with me. She said she has gotten a second job too - just trying to pay the bills. The two of them have talked about starting a family very soon and I think they just want to get as much ahead as they can. She really liked Ms Kitty's last litter - two white kittens with black markings that we've named Yin and Yang in respect of their genders. I think if number two son wasn't so seriously allergic she would have taken them as a birthday gift. Number two son's work means he interacts with a lot of people in the building trade. We talked about what was absolutely necessary to get this house in shape should the chance to sell it present itself. First up is still the fence and the balcony. The bathroom and kitchen are next then the basement. Sounds like it will be a while since money is mighty scarce right now. But every journey begins with a step - right?
A lot of articles in the paper about Moms and their value to society. Apparently one publication Salaries did an analysis of the value of the work a mom does and came up with a figure of $160,000 per year. I'd settle for a decent homemaker's pension starting right now. How about half that amount for each year one raised children? I'm sure I'd manage somehow. This article in the New Yorker limned the results of a number of scientific studies of people who took on primary parenting roles. Apparently it makes you Smarter.
The one series of articles here that is really dredging up a lot of old memories is the one about a Red Deer woman and her three year old son who was murdered by her ex husband. She had begged for over a year for help but was accused by the males from the police force of using her ex's behaviour as a tool for gaining custody of her son. Well, not many mothers I know want their children to be left with people who have threatened to kill them. When I volunteered with family support services I can recall too many similar incidents where battered women were accused of being over-reactive or unfair in requesting protection when their ex spouse threatened more violence if they terminated the relationship. I don't understand the rationale of withholding protection when the evidence is that spouse has already been violent. Separation escalates those tendencies and there are any number of longitudinal studies that show that cycle of family violence is almost intractible. One of the clues that the ex's intent is to kill is when stalking behaviour and harassment occurs. It is sad to think that some people are less safe in their own homes than in a war zone
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