12:53 PM - 01.10.04
Shift in the Force Luke
It was late into the lunch hour when I was able to get away for a break. I was just powering down my PC when I realized that someone was standing just behind me. The floor was pretty deserted, so I think I startled a bit. That surprise increased when I realized I was looking at my supervisor. At first I didn`t realize it was him. I think it was the new suit he was wearing - navy blue, really sharply cut. One tends to expect people to always look as one remembers them last, right? Besides, the last time he came by was mid-August and most other communication has been electronic one way or another.
I had emailed him the evening before asking him some due diligence questions with respect to the questions the brother had asked me at the end of the day yesterday. I also mentioned my discomfort at having to relinquish my security cards when I went to work over in the other tower. I had stated that it wasn`t because I didn`t trust the brother, but given that someone else seems to be hostile toward my presence that they might,in some way, find advantage or access to my belongings again because of it. I hadn`t expected any direct response. When I raise concerns with him by e-mail, my supervisor seems to communicate at a lot of different levels with the other staff in the company without involving me in the discussions.
Anyway he asked if I`d mind going and sitting out in the main concourse with him for a bit to talk. He expressed concern about the way things were going and allowed that it was the consensus among his team that perhaps services should be withdrawn from this company given their behaviour to date around contractual issues. I noted that I had been needing to leave since the beginning of September and was finding it increasingly difficult to go in to work every day. The presence of the brother has given me protection and support, but he will not be in the team or on the floor I work on after today. He has given me his cell number so I can contact him at need, but that isn`t the same level of protection, is it? My supervisor discussed several issues I had raised in my email with me. He became even more uncomfortable as I provided clarification of my concerns in that respect. Don`t know what will come of it, but it was comforting to have some face to face discussion about the problems.
When I returned to my station the brother, the liaison, and the co-ordinator were in the records room and it appeared they had been advised about my meeting with my supervisor. Odd given that none of them had been on the floor when he arrived and the halls had been deserted. I had only been off the floor for half an hour over the lunch break while meeting with him. It is not their right to dictate what I may do or who I spend that time with, but that was certainly the message being conveyed to me at that point. There was both tension and a chill in their manner directed at me. The co-ordinator looked like a cat who had stolen the cream.
I think part of the discomfort shown arose from events earlier in the day. You see, I had started as I usually do into the work I was actually contracted to do this morning. Once again, the work that I keep getting pulled off to assist with requires access to knowledge and expertise I have, without any compensation for the considerable value added work and advice I provide. This morning I had been sent to the other tower again, leaving my security pass with the brother. One of the building management staff told me, when I asked for the key to enter part of the new area, that the company I am assigned to isn`t entitled to access in that area yet. So why do they keep sending me in there? The work I keep being asked to do outside my contract has my supervisor really upset, but he also doesn`t like burning bridges unless there is absolutely no other choice and I don`t like being cast in the role of prima donna or "princess" if I refuse to "help". I think the tension was from the realization that what had been going on was known - that exploitation and the bait and switch tactics going on.
When I spoke with the brother, one on one, I also explained that the effect of the physical conditions in the records center, plus the renovations, plus the workload plus the stress was really causing damage to my health. He acknowledged my concerns and apologized for not taking my health issues into consideration when he asked me to take on the tasks outside my contract. I explained that part of the discussion with my supervisor was around time off to recuperate. I won`t allow anyone to push me back into patterns of work that cause my health to collapse again. When I end up that ill, it costs me in terms of wages and progress with respect to regaining ground I`ve lost physically. My house gets messier and more run down and it also means I have no energy for any activity outside work - you know like having a real life? I wasn`t put on this earth just to make someone else powerful or wealthy as a result of their exploitation of my knowledge or of me physically. I didn`t say any of that out loud of course, but the message was received anyway. I think that either my supervisor called and insisted I not be put in physical jeopardy anymore or the brother drew a line on my behalf - that medical training gives him credibility, you know - or both.
As a result I went back to work just scanning in the afternoon. In the morning I had had my headphones on - listening to "The Boss" and Cream. With Cream it was the guitar that I wanted to hear - Eric Clapton`s music has been playing a lot in my head lately - don`t know why exactly, maybe a new album is due out. The Boss? Well I`ve always liked his music and I found his CD in number four son`s collection when I went to retrieve my Smokey Robinson CD that he`d snitched out of my diskman. Turn about is fair play right? I was a bit disappointed with the first few songs - one of his classics sounded as though someone else was doing the vocals - but then song seven and above came on and I was busy trying not to sing out loud. That would be too much for the bunch I work with to bear I expect. I`ve often wondered if people really have listened to the lyrics in "Born in the USA" and "My Hometown". Most singers would be tarred and feathered for saying those things. The "Human Touch" was the one that really connected with me today though. The scientist who often comes by so I can scan things into the shared drive for him and the brother obviously enjoyed my enjoyment of the music, so I don`t think I was too out of line. Quite honestly don`t care either since it is the only thing that makes the detailed, mind numbing scanning work tolerable. Odd though, in the afternoon I didn`t put them back on. I think I was a bit more spooked than I wanted to admit about the team`s response to my meeting with my superviosr - it was identical to their response last time we met. It is as if as though one of the conditions for my work there is that he is not to communicate with me. I don`t understand that.
Anyway Grease is on right now so I need to go get my musical fix. Think I`ll watch West Side Story too, Anna and the King of Siam, ummm CATS. Well maybe just Grease tonight - the rst this weekend though. Remind me tomorrow to tell you about the bus rides lately, spooning and skaters, dudes.
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