9:32 p.m. - 2004-08-05
Lingerie
It was all about underwear today, dear diary. When the library co-ordinator arrived at her usual time she wandered over to my desk and started talking about her problem shopping for a bra the night before. Now you need to know, dear diary that the co-ordinator and my liaison seem to be of the firm opinion that our corner of the library is bugged - monitored by some nebulous beings who are riveted by library denizens conversations. The two of them will put together some documents and then stage a well planned tableau which, I think, is intended either to show off their knowledge- not, ask them to explain what they just spieled off - or to make a point about how hard they work or how deprived they are. They are very poor actors. It's one of the reasons I wear my headphones. The other reason is that sometimes the co-ordinator will try to drag me into discussions that are obviously meant to extend that "advantage" she seems to think she has. It also means I don't get pulled in to a lot of the office politics. Also means that the analytical part of the brain can do the detail work I'm assigned to, while the rest of my mind is miles, decades and other dimensions away. Suits me fine.
Therefore, I was really startled when she started in about bras. She is always very careful not to say things that aren't in keeping with the image she is trying to mold in whoevers mind. Fair game. Not only did she allow that she had gone home with the wrong size, she started talking about her preferences for lingerie and her sizes. Next of course she asked about mine - "to let me know about some of the sales that were going on". I mentioned I really wanted to buy a slip that had slit sides to accommodate the long skirts I wear. Most have slits somewhere to allow for all the bending and lifting I need to do. For several years there have been very few stores that carried them - no market.
I allowed that I had had to throw a bra away the night before because the underwire had come through the fabric. Means that it was probably a couple of years old - about all the wear I can get from one. You see I wear underwires because I need the support - I hate jiggling. Why? Because too many males equate that with an invitation to touch. Not. The problem with underwires is that they tend to enhance cleavage. Usually I get around that by wearing sweaters or something that draws attention away from the neck. Right now though it's just too darn hot for even me to wear sweaters. In addition, because I've lost weight things are fitting looser - and lower. I can't afford anything new right now so I'm just making do.
Anyway the co-ordinator asked sideways like, if the cleavage was the result of a really good um "enhanced" bra -in the old terms "falsies". No. I buy bras with the least amount of padding available - usually lace. Well then, what did I think of breast enhancement surgery - had I tried that? Um no, actually my chiropractor has often commented that a little off the top would likely reduce some of the back pain I have. I have built up some muscle in the pecs, but that weighs even more. I'm small boned especially around the ribs. I said that I hadn't always been quite so well endowed, but that nursing six babies had sort of um, enhanced the silhouette. At that point she was literally running for her desk. I don't believe we have listeners but whatever.
Her other plan of attack seemed to be to draw me into a 'catty" session. You know cutting people in the office down - as many as possible. I think whatever I want about people but I rarely say much out loud. I learned a long time ago that not knowing the whole story about an individual can make you perceive their behaviour negatively when they are either being driven by forces they can't control - company policy, illness, family problems - or when their behaviour doesn't jive because one doesn't know the whole context for it. Like my supervisor sometimes. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt,except when I'm having a bad day and then I come and whine to you dear diary. It rarely goes any farther. The problem with someone trying to create a "catty" conversation is that if someone else is listening and it appears that you are participating then it might be assumed that a) you agree and b) that you are catty too. It isn't easy to alway turn her remarks aside. The other reason for my headphones. No chance to even start in.
Two good things did happen today. My Dad's neighbour wanted to donate her husband's two hearing aids to a charity that works in third world countries. My Dad asked me if I could find out what needed to be done with respect to recalibrating or whatever the hearing aids so they could be used. I asked my chiropractor if he could refer me to one of the audiologists who looks after that sort of thing overseas and he gave me a name. I've played telephone tag with him for several weeks now. I've brought my cell phone to work since I'm not being allowed one again and he finally tracked me down this morning. Full instructions and we're good to go.
Next up was a chance to work with another consultant who is new to me. She has been working in the boardroom on some files, but in this office one doesn't talk to other contracts without risking some backlash. This afternoon my liaison said she was going to have "that girl" - she didn't know her name - do some prep work for her that I had asked to do because I couldn't move forward with my tasks until I had the tools necessary. The other consultant brought the material to me then asked if I could give her any other work to keep her busy. Our liaison had been in meetings all day, the liaison's brother was out doing some field work, she had completed everything she had been given, and she had nothing to do. I could see the library co-ordinator listening very carefully and just remarked that I had just started a couple of days ago and was a contract myself. I noted I didn't have the authority to direct anyone else nor, thinking to myself did I know the background of her hiring to even know what purpose the liaison had for having her there. That would be stepping on toes big time. I asked a little about her background and looked around to see if there was anything innocuous that might tide her over. We checked in the area where the liaison's brother was stationed as well because she has been reporting to him and it seemed reasonable for her to pick up some of his unfinished tasks.
At that point the liaison buzzed in briefly and directed me to try and find something among my tasks that the consultant could do until she was finished her meeting - about half an hour. That was 2 pm. I did ask if I could teach her some of my skills and got a no. Since I didn't have any background on the other liaison's skill levels I asked her to do the next step in the work that she had prepared the materials for me to use. I didn't want to insult her but I also didn't want to find that she had done work under my direction that was poorly done. In order to provide some support and supervison - just in case - I borrowed the co-ordinator's second chair and the two of us cosied up at my little table and divvied up the space so that we could both work on the data that was the focus of the tasks we were doing. It became apparent, as she executed her work, that she was a lot more knowledgable than what had been implied or portrayed by the rest of the team. She was also very modest about describing her skills herself. As I saw that she had the ability I gave her increasingly more complex tasks to do. Part of that was so that she wouldn't get bored but part was also because the half hour meeting of the liaison never did end. A couple of times I almost wondered if she was testing my knowledge levels - fine by me. The two of us worked together all afternoon, finally closing down for the day close to 5 pm. While we worked we chatted about family and experiences. She's probably about the same age as my older sons and was just a very nice young woman. Good way to spend an afternoon. A lot of work got done in a real team effort and I didn't have to fend off more of the "cattyness" of the co-ordinator - much lower stress level as a result.
�
�
