4:30 p.m. - 2003-05-18
Maya
Yesterday's dream sequence is still bothering me. Why? I have different types of dreams. This one has the "feel" of precognition. Not for me - I was dreaming someone else's reality - but that it will occur soon, seems possible. I don't have these type too often, but they do upset me, because I really don't know how or if they should be responded to - are some things "meant to be"?.
About 19 years ago under the same eclipse pattern as now, which seemed to stir up all sorts of odd stuff, I had the same nightmare for several months in a row, becoming stronger each time. When it got to the point, on two occasions, where I was actually "seeing" it happen when I was sitting and chairing parent council meetings that were convened close together, I decided I needed some help. Who does one go to? Not a shrink - I wasn't crazy. Not a religious leader - didn't need an exorcism. Because the predicted event occurred at the school, I spoke with the principal. He was sympathetic, because he had had similar experiences. We talked about it a bit, but that didn't take away the dreams. I made an appointment with a well known psychic in the city - one who the police consulted from time to time. Her comment was "If you can see it, you can change it". At least that was comforting. She taught me how to run through the sequence of events in the dreams until the conclusion was more "acceptable". After that she mentored me for a while and I still consider her a friend. We communicate from time to time when it seems right.
This dream has been struggling below the surface of my consciousness for over a week. I have experienced it as a sense of shock and a feeling of there being a barrier to engaging everyday "reality" - that has been the norm for my daytime awareness. It's very difficult to put into words. People who have had near death experiences would recognize it, I think, but most others don't have similar experiences to draw from.
On the very rare occasions I have a dream like this, it usually means that it will impact me directly down the line. Not sure how in this case, since it seems to me it occurs in a country far away - Latin American or at least somewhere with a strong Spanish influence on it's development. Organized crime felt like the core of the issue with respect to the violence that occurred. The young woman in question seems to have no knowledge of what is happening nor would she understand why her day to day activities would pose such a threat to the kingpins in the organization that permeates her worklife.
Troubling. Then again Neptune, the planet of illusions, just went retrograde (backwards) so it could just be smoke too. Maybe the meaning of the nightmare will be clear by November when the next eclipse cycle occurs and Neptune moves forward. Could also just be my subconscious mind is trying to alert me to something I'm not seeing in my day to day life in a dramatic way, since it can't get my attention by other means. Either way, I don't have anything to go on right now, so I guess I just wait and see what unfolds. "Only the Shadow knows."
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