17:12 - 08/06/2012
progress
Note to self - bring music to hospital as well as personal care items to help remain calm and drown out all the drama, such as the woman in the next room wailing all night long, poor thing, she was frightened. We were lucky to have rooms at all, since a lot of the patient beds were in the alcoves at the end of the hallway.
I had an atypical stroke - blood clot only, damaged the cranial nerves 3 and 5 - and am recovering faster than expected, except for my vision. Still problems with depth perception.
My dreams have returned in full colour and detail every night - I thought they were lost to my memory since last autumn. I asked the therapist if this problem was a pre-existing condition of the thalamus that was fixed by the blood clot's arrival; she startled and was intrigued by the connection. I really missed my dreamtime. Having them without the ability to recall their messages was really messing me up. Since I went to the hospital my interpretation book has gone missing, yet none of the other formats purporting to be dream dictionaries has been useful. Sigh.
A test of my cognitive functions were scored two points higher than normal people who did not have stroke. I lost all my points on two drawings, since I never could draw more than stick people, I'm not too fussed.
I was dropped off at my home at the end of Stampede week to make space for the retired nurses's family. I only wanted to learn how to manage two injections and 8 prescriptions without poisoning myself. Done that. Don't take all the poison. I was told that refusal of legal drugs makes one non compos mentis, but I am certain the pharmaceutical companies had a hand in promoting that lie.
My youngest son and his family - wife and daughters ages 13, 2 and 1 moved in with me totally destitute from the U.S. (long story) at the end of December. They have been looking after things for me, including my kitties. I can call on my number 5 son's girlfriend who also is finished her 2nd year nursing and did a stint at a palliative care centre, as well as putting up with my son when he broke 2 vertebrae in his spine while snow-boarding in the spring.
A+ has been helping me navigate the transit system as well as ensuring I get to all the health appointments and summer festivals that are running for free this time of year. I am reading "Three Weeks in December" about two adults trying to function in their society with Asperger's Syndrome/Autism. I now understand the fear of neurotypicals near me. Left standing on my own while A+ takes photos means the crowds of celebrants, some with bicycles or big strollers zipping by me; that I can't see or predict the behaviour of making me feel very off-balance and scared, ditto on the bus/train. I am slowly building up stamina and endurance between the grandbabies and the travel.
I am reading "The Hobbit" aloud to the grandbabies to improve my speech (the 1 year old is walking as well as I am and delights in her small progress - I am taking lessons in patience and gratitude from her) Now my youngest grand-daughter goes and gets the book for me and asks for more story. How perfect is that?
I am unable to work for at least 6 months, so says the doctor, I am not supposed to be out of hospital yet, at nearly a cost to our provincial government of $900 per day. The neurologist told me I would be in the hospital "months and months", but said I wouldn't be able to go back to work for at least 6 months. Fine by me, since I was afraid of trying to take transit in winter - the ice factored into problems with lack of depth perception. Everyone has been freaking out and telling me what I can't do based on old stories/beliefs and misinformation. I am quite capable of looking after myself. I am going to ask for financial assistance from the province for on-line courses. I want to be more employable after this is all over, wish me luck, dear diary.....
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