19:32 - 04/07/2010
Chain of Fools
I hope everyone had a great Easter break!
My hand is finally working well enough again so that I can key long enough to post to you, dear diary. You see, I had a fall and.... Well it wasn't pretty. Recuperation has taken a lot longer than usual, because there were so many things I still had to do. I couldn't find the time to properly rest and recover.
First up were the quality assurance assignments. Right after I posted to you, two solid weeks of non-stop travel all around the city, with reports to be filed as soon as possible after. A lot of follow up after that, as some very odd occurrences arose in the process. Such as the one sales associate who tried to demand their own personal "pay me in cash" additional side fee up-front, before they would even consider doing the work the company was paying them to do. Then there was the weird one where it seemed as though one of the management staff not involved in the assessment intervened at the very end of the assignment to suggest I was, in fact, doing the quality assurance work. Odd, since I had only been to that site once before. We don't always reveal what we do based on the client's directions, you see. This assignment I was supposed to be anonymous. The inner actor was being let out to play for a bit. I vary my clothing and "look" to ensure that aspect of the assignment is assured. That day none of the clothing I wore had ever been used in previous assignments. Partly that was because the weather was finally spring-like, at least for this part of the world. I was only wearing one layer of clothes plus a sweater, instead of the three layers that were necessary the previous four months. In addition, in the new-to-me clothes given to me by one of my friends near Christmas, there was one blouse that had a maternity-style cut. It was effective enough that on the way home on the standing room only, crowded to the gills, train one man stood up offering me his seat stating that he couldn't stand watching me struggle to stay upright in my "delicate" condition. The driver was more lead-footed than usual and I was trying to text A+ while swinging precariously, hanging on to the overhead strap with the other hand. I was pleased to know the ruse had worked, although I felt really guilty for taking a seat from a man who had obviously put in a long, hard day of physical labour. Funny, but it is almost always the blue collar workers or the high school students who are the real gentlemen on transit. Office-worker types don't even get up for the frail and elderly, let alone pregos, sharing their ride. I tried to decline, but he was insistent that I must sit.
I also fitted in two long visits with friends I haven't been able to connect with for ages. My sister's sister-in-law and I hooked up on Skype and talked for well over four hours. We were engrossed in a discussion about both the intense astronomical and astrological aspects about to occur, as well as the recent political explosions and the possible outcomes that might result. In retrospect, some of our predictions were bang on. Hmmmm. The second visit was with my friend who does international election work. She had just returned from one assignment and really needed to vent. Then we also delved into issues religious and political that were breaking news, as well as what we knew from our own sources. Another four hours of intense analysis and a lot extrapolation. We're still watching to see how those play out. While we talked, we first enjoyed a really yummy dim sum buffet and then headed outdoors to walk along and watch the airplanes land. We were buffeted by a wind strong enough to make keeping upright an issue. Lucky our conversation was so intense that we hardly noticed - at least until we turned back and had to walk into the wind. Bleagh. At least the footpaths were clear of ice and snow though. After spending three months walking in the middle of the road because the sidewalks were too dangerous to tread, it seemed like a real treat. A little wind and a bit of snow wouldn't stop us enjoying working off that lunch. Two really stimulating visits with friends I cherish for their fierce, independent thought, as well as their gentle natures, was something I haven't had the opportunity to enjoy for many years. I hadn't realized how much I missed that interaction.
The other interaction I missed was posting to you. There was one week where I had the time, but the Diaryland site was not accessible. I think, maybe, it had to do with re-registering the domain and the paperwork involved. That happened once before. Once the site was back on-line, A+ started saving my posts, one-by-one, on a web tool called Evernote. Means, even if the links disappear, the content is still available. He had recommended it to me near the beginning of March, before everything went sideways with that fall. You see I have been intending to write a novel for some time, but really couldn't get the pieces I had to work. Then one day when we were discussing some of the books we were reading, the whole of the story and the main character just popped into my mind. The character seems fully formed and separate from me. The journey she takes is emerging daily as synchronous stories and news articles provide me with the information and research I feel I need to have in order to at least attempt to be historically accurate. The initial setting is in the Himalayas around where all the conflict in that region seems to be coalescing at the moment, although that was not what I had thought about when the idea of writing a novel first arose. The story plays out on both the Silk Road in Asia and the Salt/Copper Road through Africa, but reaches resolution somewhere in Europe. What I really need right now is a wall size topo map of those continents so that I can build overlays to reflect the geo-political influences. Those factors need to be acknowledged as the characters play out the story.
It wouldn't hurt to have enough funds to just write daily without worrying about bills, but at this point even writing to you, dear diary, isn't possible in the scramble to just make enough to survive week to week. Again, misery loves company. I know there are millions of families suffering from severe underemployment/underwaging due to the western world's economic meltdown. I'm trying hard to focus on counting my blessings - family, friends, and reasonable health mixed in with the beauty on offer with the ever-changing seasons at this time of year. My oldest son has volunteered to work in a joint gardening project in my backyard this summer to ease the food situation. That "side" of good exercise will help me recuperate from the damage the fall caused, so I do have things to look forward to despite the constant stress of not enough income to pay bills and eat too. News stories from the local parks department state that it appears that the planting season may possibly arrive much earlier than normal. A special news alert issued asking everyone to start watering their plants now - six weeks before the usual long weekend in May - because of the much warmer and drier weather we have had in this region to date. Apparently trees in this city are already starting to die because of drought like conditions. Where's the snow melt when you need it? Better than earthquakes and tornados though, so even more blessings to count. Amen and amen.
I didn't and don't regret investing all my energy into working a couple of jobs at a time so I could support my six sons and myself this past decade or more while single-parenting too, but it meant any other "life" was simply not possible. Empty nest syndrome is not a condition from which I suffer. As it is, I really enjoy the visits with the grand-babies, but the sounds of silence are especially sweet in my home most of the time. My two oldest grandchildren spent three days with me over the Easter holidays, since both their parents had to work. We had a great time, but I had forgotten how much energy it takes to outwalk and out-last them. We watched movies, I read stories to them and helped them with puzzles and art projects they chose to work on. Their Dad had asked me to help them improve their language skills, you see. When he and his brothers had begun their journeys through the formal education system, their language teachers always marvelled at their vocabulary and grammar. Those babies had no choice, since I began reading aloud to them every night as soon as they first drew breath after birth. First story read was usually "The Hobbit". Anyway, in addition to the inside activities, we also went out walking for about four hours one afternoon - also in a very high wind. What's up with that? Took a lot of pictures as they capered along drinking in all the sights and sounds unique to this part of the city while watching the wildlife - human and animal - beginning to emerge from their winter hideaways. When we reached home again, time was spent posting their adventures on their Facebook pages, as well as mine. Scanned in their certificates from the Theatre school they had just finished attending, so they could also be displayed for their friends. Trying to build self-respect and self-esteem without the side of ego takes a lot of thought, but I think we found a good balance. Spent some time telling them stories about ancestors too, having just filled in another layer of our relatives from Scotland in the on-line ancestry site as another way to see how and why our family is the way it is. Sometimes the quirks are generational after all. In between I spent all the extra time cooking. They eat like their Dad and uncles did when they were in growth mode. While they slept, I searched for gifts I could give them that didn't require spending money that I don't have. Going though closets I found a couple of sealed jigsaw puzzles I must have hidden away for gifts for my sons long ago, as well as some well preserved "cool" sunglasses. Must have been serendipity that made me forget them until now. I even managed to pack up a couple of bags of gently used clothes to donate to goodwill into the bargain. It was fun and uplifting in a lot of unexpected ways.
I also continued to send out resumes and chat on a regular basis with a couple of the placement agencies' contacts I have throughout the month. Another reason that I couldn't post to you was that one of those agents requested a major rewrite of my resume, so that it could be vetted in another industry not normally in my list of potential employers. Took a lot longer with a gibbled hand and the accompanying discomfort just sitting caused. Oh yes, that fall. Well you see, out of the blue I received a call at the beginning of March asking if I was interested in training to cold call for volunteers for a charity. Could I start the next day after that call. Well not really, but I was able to reorganize my quality assurance assignments so I could fit in a couple of hours of the essential training. Six women were in the class. We were told we would be allowed four days to prove we could meet out quotas for recruiting door to door volunteer canvassers. By my second shift, three of the trainees had already been told they weren't productive enough. That, despite the fact the experienced callers weren't doing much better. Playoffs for the local hockey team meant people weren't even answering their phones. Can't sign them up in absentia. Being reminded every hour about the quota felt as though someone was hanging a virtual noose in front of me as I tried to reach anyone of age who might be willing. I did manage to recruit some people as standbys and one as a definite - "when can I have my kit?"- in the first couple of days, but was told none of those would qualify in my stats because "they were in the wrong district". Confused me, because volunteer canvassers are needed in every district. Oh well.
On the second shift I was running from the bus to the train - I needed to fit in a quality assurance assignment, before I did the phone work - when I tripped on chipped concrete and landed with all my weight on the right hand. Two fingers dislocated was the first thing I noticed. The pinky was twisted so it faced 90 degrees to where it was supposed to be and was bent in several weird angles like a twig. The ring finger had slipped out of it's knuckle socket, but I was too busy running for the train and trying to straighten the pinky to notice at first. Managed to get the pinky turned almost back to it correct position, but the bone had jammed into the muscles of the hand. I had to wait a couple of weeks for the swelling to go down so that my oldest son could finally release all the bone out of it's prison of flesh. The first week the palm was so swollen that I couldn't flex any of the fingers or hold anything either. Still did the work I had agreed to complete, but I finally decided to back out of the phone work, even though I desperately needed the paycheque. The pain I was experiencing in addition to the constant pressure to recruit phantom landline owners who simply weren't answering was more than I could manage while still juggling the quality assurance assignments. I didn't want to compromise that work, since it has been my only steady employment this last while. As it was, I must have also hit my head on the concrete without really noticing. The day after I quit the phone work I started getting seeing-stars headaches and then a gusher of a nose bleed that lasted for hours. I don't think I could have made it to work for those few days anyway. Just getting to the bathroom was all I could handle without the blood starting to trickle again. Bleagh. As that part of the healing process worked itself out, I began to realize that my shoulder and hip had also been jammed up in the fall. Took two weeks before the other distractions abated enough so that I could attend to that damage. Oi.
On the upside, the supervisor of the phone work asked if, instead of phoning for volunteers, I would set up some social networking and a website for their agency. I explained that I really had very little experience with website development, but would find someone reputable for them. I tried several people, with no success, so the supervisor asked me to try my hand at it anyway. I've often read blogs from some of my on-line friends who do that sort of work, so I have some idea of the theory and practice, but very little of the technical bits. A+ offered to provide some training, so I guess I'm going to add a new skill to my repertoire one way or another. I love learning new things, so it was almost a gift after doing so poorly with the phone work. We'll see.
A+ and I have continued to spend a fair amount of time together, although this is a very busy time for him with the company he and his family operate. We've done a great deal of walking, as well as enjoying movies when I was really too damaged for any type of physical activity. Over the past couple of months what has stood out for me was "The Station Agent" and "Confucius", and the "Golden Compass" as well as "V for Vendetta". Hmmm. Given all the demonstrations and turmoil playing out locally, nationally and internationally the past few months, the message in the movies was very thought provoking. My hand is really hurting again dear diary, so I think I'll stop now. Hopefully I'll be able to post again soon. Good night dear diary.
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