16:54 - 11/30/2009
Relating and relations
I hope all my American friends, family, and cousins had a great Thanksgiving. Starting on that day and going forward to the end of January, I think there is at least one birthday of importance to one of my family, friends, e-friends, mentors, or role models. The very happiest of birthdays to those who have already passed this year's solar return.
When I arrived home later than Ms Snowy expected last week, the minute I took my runners off she attacked them savagely. Trying to rip the laces off, she was. The felines in my home all know what shoes mean - their humans are leaving the house without them. It was obvious that Ms Snowy was very angry with me for deserting her fine self for so long. I think maybe she feared that if she swiped me with her claws, that I might stay away even longer next time I left the house. So, because she still felt the need to release her anger she chose an object that couldn't fight back. Representing the transgression, it became the target of her opprobrium.
That theme seemed to be echoed in a political scandal that erupted around the same time. Canada is signatory to international laws that forbid the abuse of civilians during war actions (the Geneva Convention) and those that forbid turning someone - combatants included - over to any regime that is known to systematically use torture or murder in their operations. I know I've linked to reports from international observers as well as media reports of such illegal activities over the past years in my posts to you, dear diary. Yet, when a Canadian diplomat had exhausted all his internal routes to express his alarm at this unspeakable practice a couple of weeks ago and went to the media as a last resort, what happened? Not thanks or respect for bringing a very serious breach of law out in the open so it could be addressed. Nope. Sanctions and accusations from the politicians and leaders of the army who had to have seen those reports. Those reports are regularly submitted by international reporting non-government agencies, as well as the United Nations, to said parties violating those laws.
There were misleading headlines by the particular news chain that is in the pocket of the current political party that holds a minority government, attacking the diplomat in question. Accusing the gentleman of attacking front line soldiers' reputation and undermining international aid agencies' work were the word weapons of choice. Attempting to make it look like the leaders' behaviour was, instead, the behaviour of the diplomat. It is those leaders' choices that disgrace the name of Canada and make it harder for our soldiers and aid agencies to do the tasks they are trying to accomplish to help Afghanis take back and rebuild their society from the criminal elements masquerading as their leaders. Taking words spoken or written to reflect the truth of the situation, then twisting/spinning them so as to reflect negatively on the man who has just risked his career and standing in the community, because his conscience won't let him do otherwise. The way of testing who is likely telling the truth? Ask "qui bono" - who profits or gains "power" from the spin. The diplomat has risked everything to reveal a terrible travesty of justice. The kind of government statesman that citizens and media insist they want representing them, but who, when reality bites, turn and attack them instead. The person who is believed? The minister of defense who, with his large entourage, can be seen traipsing all about the country in a fleet of military helicopters at taxpayers' expense, posing for photos that his handlers apparently think make him look manly or a leader. He is just as much a snivelling coward as is his master - you know who I mean. Turning innocent people over to be tortured in order to "appear in charge" in local media is nothing other than criminal. Whew. End of that rant, maybe.
After reading all the obfuscation in the media, I posted a link to one of the United Nations High Commission on Refugees reports dated November 2007 about the torture allegations on my Facebook page, so that at least a few more citizens would know what had actually happened. I then tried to email one of those friends to discuss that issue further. I received an error message from the kindly Facebook hosts stating that that particular link had been reported (within minutes) of being a violation of Facebook policy, because it contained abusive information. Yes well, only if telling the truth is an abuse of the terms of service. In Canadian courts telling the truth is considered a defence against allegations of libel or slander. It's meant to stop malicious litigation by people who still deny that the Holocaust happened, for example. As someone who spent a couple of years assisting in the care of burn patients, I can attest to the fact that there is nothing else that smells the same as burning human flesh. Those who lived near the Nazi crematoria who denied knowing what was happening could only state that if they had asolutely no sense of smell whatsoever. To attack others in court for standing witness to that torture and genocide is nothing but malicious use of the justice system. If someone wants my Facebook page closed down becaue of that post, then I guess I have to assume that the truth must be a very dangerous thing indeed.
Maybe my frustration is exacerbated by the fact that I watched a CBC documentary made up of eyewitness videos of the destruction of the Twin Towers in 2001 about the same time the Afghani story was breaking. It also builds on the theme of channelling anger, retaliation and fear of the true abuser/offender to another target because the accuser(s) are too afraid or compromised/implicated to confront the real perpetrators. There is no doubt that Saddam Hussein was an evil, unspeakably cruel man. However, the fact still remains that he was put into power and kept there by the very Western governments who decided to make his country the whipping boy for what was known to be an attack by a much more powerful mid-east regime who the western governments were afraid to offend, let alone attack. Does anyone still recall the ten year war between Iraq and Iran, funded largely by western countries on the side of Iraq. And look what that has led to now. Who has paid the price? Over and over again the children and civilians of Iraq. How many dead and disabled Iraqis are there? I think the suicide rate among US soldiers speaks volumes to the difference between the propaganda and the reality of the conditions in that country. Those soldiers too, are paying the price for their governments' dissembling.
Closer to home the murder of two young children and the attempted murder of their mother was another instructive case of the same sort of trollish behaviour. By the time I read through 49 pages of on-line comments from one news agency, one could see the same trend of thought being expressed by local citizens. Blame the police, the neighbours, the mother, the economy and even the children themselves. Worse yet were the ubiquitous "trolls" who seem to show up on any discussion board where emotions are strong. Many of the legitimate commentors were expressing their feelings based on their own life experiences. Some of their observations were deeply personal and poignant making it easy to understand why they held the views they did. Most sad were the comments made by the classmates and friends of the chidren who had been murdered. It was apparent that they could barely comprehend how such a thing could happen. One could only feel sad for their losses and pain. However, it seemed to delight the trolls to exploit and inflame those posters' pain, so that the discussion on the board instead became a distorted and destructive polarization of people who, since they truly cared, could have united to help each other and families caught in the spiral of domestic violence if left alone to debate and discuss options. Instead these trolls were obviously doing all they could to create emotional divides that would prevent that from happening. The only conclusion I could draw was that those trolls must, in their real lives, be abusers and bullies themselves; very proficient and sophisticated ones too. The only consolation about their presence on-line is that it might protect the living people in their own homes and workplaces from more vicious abuse the trolls are instead dishing out to strangers in the community at large.
A similar story about an attempted pipe bombing was also featured. In this case the subject of attack was ostensibly the geographical community - the northeast - itself, although the thread of racism, rather than place, was subtle but rampant throughout. That, notwithstanding that the same behaviour has happened all over the city and in much more serious ways. Before much information was known, the trolls were yelping that it was "the terrorists/immigrants/brown people" who were to blame and that was why they hated the community where it happened. Turned out it was an attack by white supremacists intent on punishing one of their own. Remember that incident I posted to you in the spring of the white supremacist march that occurred partly in the train station where I was waiting with some of my co-workers prior to being picked up for work? Yes - that "leader" now bombing someone else who wasn't toeing his line. The silence on the chat boards from those community hating trolls was deafening after more information was released. Sadly, racism is alive and well in our pretty city. Lucky that telling the truth at least stopped the bashing of the area for a while.
On the personal side, I've continued to try and carry out my quality assurance assignments even though my lungs still ache if there's a wind. It usually requires a day or two of rest before I'm up for the next foray. The airport was a challenge this time. Almost couldn't get there for starters, because there was a big accident blocking the bus route to the terminal. Three fire trucks, two ambulances and several police cars converged on the roadway, while I think I counted four or five vehicles in a chain reaction collision. Arrived finally and headed up the escalator to the security offices. At the top of the escalator an unattended, slightly hidden, mangy backpack. Took talking to four airport employees before I could get one to come and take a look at it. I know there are lost items left all the time, as witnessed by the regular public announcements that all such items will be retrieved and confiscated by airport security for the safety of all within the terminal. Since I knew that I was going to be on site for a couple of hours, I wanted to be certain that it wasn't anything that might be dangerous. Self-preservation, y'all. Next up I had to test my bank card before proceeding with my assignments. I am often required to make purchases you see. I had discovered late the day before that an employee inside my bank had been tampering with my account - maybe part of that phishing attempt - when I tried to use it to buy food. I had just been to my bank to do some paperwork and that person had actually served me. When I arrived home from the store an hysterical - I admit it - phone call to the bank had resulted in abject apologies from the manager as well as an addition of some loyalty points to my account to make up for the embarrassment that had just been caused me by the card rejection. I was assured that the employee in question would be reprimanded, but I think I would rather have had assurances that she never be allowed access to my account or personal information again. Fortunately the four quality assurance assignments slated for that venue all went smoothly. Guess I should just count my blessings, eh.
Had dim sum with A+ and his best friend on one of the two days in November after a big snow storm - the second one happening today. My bus had spent several minutes traversing a single intersection simply because the snow had become a sheet of ice. That bus was full, so traction was not the issue. Nor was it the skill of the bus driver that was in question. I spent a lot of time on that trip saying prayers of thanks for that driver's expertise. It could have been a lot worse. Each bus driver I saw that day had the "deer in the headlights" experession that confirms that road conditions were extremely bad. Reports of busses sliding sideways down some of the steep hills in our city, taking hours to tavel a few kilometer and of drivers needing four or five hours to travel what was usually a ten or twenty minute drive told the tale in technicolour. A+'s friend was telling us that the south part of the city had very little snow/ice. He hit the bad areas when he tried to drive up a hillside into the north section. Said it was lucky he was used to driving in such conditions because he had to keep his truck - fully wieghted down - at an angle in order to continue moving up that hillside. He said one of the drivers behind him drove up beside him at the top of the hill and told him that that was the best driving he had seen in years. That in itself is extraordinary because drivers in this city are not known for either their tolerance or their manners. Nuh uh.
Three of my sons arrived the day of the Grey Cup - Superbowl of the North - to help me deal with one of my bugbears. All the appliances I have had in this home have been second hand. I am very grateful to the people who have helped me cope by allowing me to see their appliances to the end of their lives. However, my basement has slowly filled to bursting with those deceased machines over the years. I can't carry those appliances out by myself and, not having a vehicle, also meant I had no way to get them to the dump even if I did get them outside. Our city by-laws have stiff fines for having such things sitting on one's property because of unsightliness. My two oldest sons and number four son took about two hours to dismantle and haul everything outside to the gate near the alley so, that at some point, someone can take them off to the dump. Number two son brought a tarp to cover everything so that the by-law officers won't have to visit either. The upshot is that I now have the equivalent of a full room of space available to me for other uses. The cats were in shock - more hidey holes lost for good. More hidden toys located though. When my youngest son arrived home from work he immediately started cleaning up the space, because it was so exciting to see those parts of the basement again.
My oldest son packed up a lot of the belongings I had been storing for him for transfer to the new place he is moving into. The other home's landlord had been foreclosed by his bank, with the result that all four tenants were told they had one month to vacate. I think that is a violation of the law in this province because I believe new property owners must abide by existing tenant contracts. Maybe my son just thought it wasn't a battle he wanted - taking on a bank. Hard to say, but his call since he is the one who has to deal with the consequences. Lucky he has brothers who are there for him when an emergency like that happens, eh?
What has been odd lately is the amount of time I 've found myself thinking about my girlfriends from childhood. Maybe it has been generated because of all the troll-like behaviour I ranted about in this post. There was a group of about eight of us who - as time and interest dictated - hung out together from elementary to through high school and beyond. One is dead, one is living and loving it on the side of the world. The others are still nearby, all leading very different lives. I was trying to remember what it was that was so special about those friendships. It took some time to sift through the qualities that set our relationships apart. There was no possessiveness or judgement. We hung out in a group or in clusters depending on our interests and affinities without censure or feeling slighted at others' choices of companions. Sometimes there were casual pairing based on doing the same activity - swimming, work, music, or yearbook - but that never meant exclusion of anyone from the smaller pairings' activities or the entire group's gatherings. We each helped each other only as requested. There was never an attempt to take over or direct someone else's choices or experiences "for their own good". We never tattled on each other to parents or other authority figures - not that we did anything naughty anyway. We all had enough respect for each other's intelligence and judgements to let them make their own decisions as they saw fit. We stayed out of those choices that did not directly affect our relationship with each other. We each had our own way of expressing ourselves creatively and would not have considered censoring or judging the way anyone else choose to express themselves. All opinions, values and beliefs were respected even when not shared. I don't recall a time when one person tried to bully, talk over or shout down any of the others into thinking the same or taking a position that politically or culturally was different from the rest of us. No one ever tried to put words in some one else's mouths or tried to twist what one person said to distort the original intent or idea expressed by another. Maybe I'm forgetting something but high school was one of the happiest times of my life because of the friends I had. Hmmm.
Maybe it has been the events of the past month that have triggered that train of thought, or maybe it is that I've reached a stage of life where I've finally come to realize that the only type of people I want in my life now are like those girls who were and remain my friends even now. I'm entering a new Jupiter cycle astrologically so maybe this time I'll focus on weeding out all that is toxic, whether it is broken possessions or toxic relationships no matter the history or attachments that exist now. Right now the relationship calling me is that with the felines. They want dinner meow.
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