14:06 - 06/29/2009
Expeditions
It has been two weeks since that work meeting I mentioned at the end of my last post, dear diary. When I left home for it at the appointed time, I met up with one of the people I worked with a couple of data management contracts ago. They were heading in to work themselves. We discussed the atmosphere in my workplace. She was urging me to call the labour board by the time we parted at my transfer point. Trouble is that every time one escalates a complaint, the response from a bad employer tends to become even more violent - at least in terms of one's work status. My first instincts about the tone of the meeting - the chest pains - were correct. The two senior managers met with me. They told me they didn't appreciate my requests of the company to abide by the labour laws of the province - the laxest in the country, by the way. Also - I shouldn't be asking for more shifts - even though every other counter does. I have witnessed that over and over again. It took me over a week to be able to put together an annotated chronology of the emails I had sent to those managers since the beginning of this year to forward to the Canadian head office. Something the area manager, much to my puzzlement, suggested I do. You see, each time I sat down to write I would start throwing up. Too much stress. Still no shifts, although I did get an email back from the head of hr acknowledging that he was trying to figure out what to do in this case. I suspect that sharing the information I had with the other counters was the source for the local office's actions. I was still getting requests for more information at that time. Sigh.
I have been doing more of the quality assurance work for the two agencies that I have worked for on a casual basis for the past two years since that meeting. Still, their assignments don't pay enough to pay my bills. I have been waiting on one potential interview, having passed a couple of the first cuts of applicants, and that, at least, gives some hope. I've been sending out resumes, after revising mine to capture some other skill sets I have from past experience. Both the co-worker from that data management assignment who chatted with me on the bus and my Dad's partner at his birthday lunch, counselled me to "dumb down" my resume. "Employers don't want anyone who is too skilled or intelligent" said my Dad's partner, who holds a senior position in a local hospital. "Unfortunately on the ward we need people who are - intelligent, that is." Sigh too. Emailed a couple of people who usually stand as references for me to verify they were still ok with that. No problem.
A+ has been helping me deal with the stress and frustration. He often reminds me I am not just the paid work I do. I appreciate that, but I still have to find ways to pay the bills. Right now my financial prospects are moving from "worrisome" to "frightening". Yes, I know that has been an issue for me throughout the nearly seven years I have posted to you, dear diary, but I am getting so tired of struggling all the time. And yes, I know too that my life could be much worse in other ways that would make poverty look pleasant. I am trying to stay positive, but I'm not doing that very well right now. That is one of the reasons I haven't posted to you for the past two weeks. I don't want to be whining at you either. I am grateful that A+ hears me out, but I've spent a lot of days at home not talking with anyone this past two weeks, so that I wouldn't burden him or anyone else. That just makes me feel worse about things, after all.
I did send out an e-mail to my sons asking them for any leftover paint and paint brushes they might have, so that at least I could do something useful at home while trying to get my work life straightened out. Hmmm, acrylic paint??? I also went through closets and drawers amassing enough clothes and books so that I could call one of the local charities to make a donation of them. I am still continuing to lose weight, you see, and that is one area of great satisfaction for me. Maybe the fact that my only pair of work pants wouldn't stay up any more was a foreshadowing of the need to move on to something else. I had actually had to sew myself in to them, so as not have them falling to the floor at a client's.
While I was culling those clothes, I found a bathing suit I had bought for a couple of dollars at a going-out-of-business sale a few years back. It was too small for me then, but it fits me now. I haven't actually worn a bathing suit since before my last son was conceived. I've been wearing it now to do yoga, since it is very hot - by local standards. It was very odd one day, I was working with one of my ashtanga tapes moving through the asanas. I like the instructor's voice, as well as the precision with which she describes each movement. Suddenly, it was as though my other favorite tape - the Iyengar school - also started playing in concert. I could hear that instructor's voice - hypnotic and soothing - also speaking instructions. In my mind's eye it was as though there were two dimensions. I felt as though "I" was working out, in a bridge between the two realities, with both tapes at once. The poor old physical body was finding it difficult to sort out which neural impulses to follow. The curious thing is that in some sections of the two tapes the routines are very similar, but not exactly so. Don't know what to make of it, but I have just used the experience as a contemplation exercise since then. Ommmm.
A+ and I have spent a few days on walking expeditions the past couple of weeks too. I think he needs to stay away from the convenience machines for a bit though. The first walk - we headed downtown. When he was first courting me and I finally felt comfortable letting him hold me, we were sitting on a secluded bench in a public park. It has a beautiful view of the river valley, you see. We headed over to share it again, because it holds such fond memories. Wandered over to the one unique market that is nearby after, thinking we should have something to eat. As it turned out, there was a second-hand book fair filling the center court, so of course, we browsed for an hour or more. Still, that was better in terms of self-restraint, than the earlier visit to a book store a couple of weeks ago, when I think we were browsing for closer to three hours. It was an on-line secondhand book depot that I would give my eye teeth to work in. Hmmm.
Anyway, once A+ had paid for his finds, he headed over to an ATM to do his banking. Not only was the machine not functioning properly, but it ate his bank card to boot. It took quite a while to find anyone on site who could even give him any information about the machines - no contact information on the machines themselves. While we were waiting, we made handmade signs for each terminal so that no one else would have the same experience. The market administration office sent someone over to verify what was happening, but they couldn't help us. We headed off to the nearest branch of his bank, so that he could cancel that card and get a replacement all at once. We had been contemplating going to the Carifest at the Plaza, but the incident left us feeling unsettled, so we just headed home instead.
Train travels are often interesting in themselves, but the adventures that day were also unsettling. A group of very exuberant teens boarding at city hall. Not an issue until they found an unattended baby stroller. One of the young girls appeared to have gone through the coat left with it, because the entire group came and sat in the next bench to us shortly after, discussing her find of some cash. At that point, one of the other passengers hit the trouble button that connects with the driver. That resulted in the group exiting the back door of the car, while the driver entered the front one. He locked the stroller in the one empty compartment on our car and then proceeded back to the control car, after collecting what information he could from those passengers who had actually witnessed what had been done with the stroller. We hadn't seen that part. The conversation among the youngsters after, really wasn't definitive enough to prove they had actually stolen the cash they were exclaiming about from the lost/abandoned stroller. Not as uplifting as the day one young woman played a soulful concert on her accordian the entire journey from downtown to home. One could hear the gypsy theme all through what she played. It had the entire car of travellers entranced.
A couple of days ago, A+ and I made a six hour walking tour of the heart of the original downtown of this city. Located in the oldest settled area along the confluence of the Bow and Elbow rivers, it is a beautiful area of town with unexpected treasures for the eye abounding. We started at the train stop by the Zoo, heading south and east. A+ had bought a new video camera, so I got to use his digital camera for a lot of the journey. Across the river and down the old "Main Street" filled with boutique and niche stores offering something for any taste or interest. We have surfed through those stores at other times so we were able to resist, barely, the temptation to enter in to any then. The second-hand music and book stores, the antique and collector's toy shop, the military museum/collector's stop, the artists' galleries, ...sigh.
We visited another bench with a courting history for us, before continuing on past the original fish hatchery and brewery that used to be a major weekend attraction for local familes. Children would spend hours moving from tank to tank of exotic fish, while parents enjoyed sampling of another sort. Ending the day with a trip to the mom and pop store that had the best penny candy bargains in the city. Only the brewery and the statue of the buffalo are left now, but the memories linger.
We strolled under the major underpass into the heart of that oldest community next. Past the First Nation's school in the original, first sandstone school house in the area. The street now changing from commercial to, first, brand new loft apartments and condos, then to single family homes. The homes seeming to be occupied, mostly, by young couples with children of pre-school age, judging by the toys scattered about the yards and the squeals of pleasure as the young ones played, while their parents gardened. These homes still feature the English-style yards, full of blossoms and a riot of colour, featuring traditional plants for this area. Under the lilacs. That feeling of a close-knit neighbourhood, as the couples working in their yards paused to greet you as you passed. Haven't felt that kind of friendliness in this city for many years. Some beautiful new homes being constructed, but that respected the nature of the community in their own way.
Across the street where it finally morphed from busy freeway, to light commercial to quiet, idyllic homes the street merged into a new-to-me wilderness area established as a joint venture between the city and a couple of community-building charitable organizations - the Rotarians and Ducks Unlimited, among the partners. There was a curious structure that looked like a cross between the burial platforms of the plains Indians and the Shinto temples of Japan dominating the skyline. The placement of the rocks, around and inside, the open-walled structure was curious too. Ley lines. All alone on a hill it was, with a view that presented some very divergent vistas. Downtown high rises, vying with the hub of the local railroad industry, the outlines of an old refinery, wild flowers and prairie grass with the trees native to the foothills encircling them. We stopped for quite a while to capture what we saw in photos and then moved on to the bird sanctuary.
At this point, there was an interpretive center where we could refresh a bit. A+ wandered over to the corner of the building where there were vending machines. Put in his coins, then found that the door to the machine wouldn't open outward so that his selection could descend. The park staff were very kind and refunded his money. He chose another item that would fit through the door, then we headed outside for an idyllic couple of hours just enjoying the wildlife, the natural environment, the sun, and history that was contained in the park. A lot of families, some with multi-generations, passing us on the uncrowded, secluded pathways. Bridges criss-crossing the streams and marshes, so one could see the natural beauty from many angles, as well as the animals and birds who made it their home. When we uploaded our photos later on Facebook, it was surprising how quickly we had reactions to what we captured from so many of our friends. Hmmm.
When we finally returned to the interpretive centre, the park staff were excitedly telling A+ that they had been able to extract his original choice of treat from that beast of a machine. They insisted that he have the first choice as well. Just very friendly and kind, just like the volunteers who wandered the pathways along the park offering information on request.
We headed back toward the zoo, taking the river pathway that encircles the community from a different direction. Along the way we encountered a number of people with fishing tackle attached to the panniers of their bicycles or stuffed into their backpacks. A+ had captured a good sized trout - by photo - in the sanctuary, but these anglers wanted theirs pan-fried, I think. One fellow ruefully admitting his day hadn't gone as expected, because he had lost his tackle almost immediately. But any day spent fishing is a good day - right? A lot of joggers and walkers, including a lot of tourists, made the pathway a lot more crowded, but still enjoyable.
By this time, we had been walking for about five hours in the hot sun. The pathways are concrete. Might explain the almighty sunburn I got on my neck, even though I was wearing a peaked baseball cap and sunglasses to protect myself. A+ said there was a very odd optical illusion where that ball cap was concerned. I couldn't see it, of course, but he said there was a shimmer of light the same colour as that ball cap that would sometimes appear around my face. It came and went as we walked. Hmmm.
Around the north side of the river walk we came to the weir. Eleven pelicans and a few saucy ducks were lined up on the far side of the weir, just waiting to catch their share of fish for dinner. The camera's battery had died by then, but A+ was able to get some good photos with his camcorder. Just before heading back across the bridge to the island, St. George's, that is the home of our zoo, there is an old drive-through diner that used to be "the" place to go when I was small after visiting said zoo. A+ and I stopped there for a bite to eat, before heading back to catch the train home. I don't think it has changed much from those years, long ago, when my parents would stop there to buy us ice cream cones on the way home from the zoo.
Anyway, I guess I'd better go feed my own feline zoo. Need to go get some clean litter for them too. Remind me to tell you about my last trip for same. Met one of the Moms I had volunteered with when our children were growing up. She was telling me about the terrible treatment her second son was receiving at the hands of our army. He was injured, you see, and is now being shut out of treatment, as well as benefits. I have no end of respect for the people who choose to join our armed forces, but no use at all for the political forces that use and abuse them, treating them like garbage when they are no longer exploitable. But that is another rant for another day, as is the dream of constructing a harbour from scratch, dear diary. Oh then there is that dream of folding diapers.....Write soon.
�
�
