10:50 - 04/10/2009
Serendipity
The cats are all stretched out blissfully in the sunlight streaming through the windows on this Good Friday. I'm listening to my "walking" playlist on my Ipod - "I'm Alive" by Leahy up at the moment. Good choice, as I was checking my posts to you from a year ago, you see. I do that when I'm feeling like I'm losing ground. Good way to see how far I've come. Turns out that was one of the bleakest periods last year - the turning point, although I didn't know it at the time. It reminded me of positive practices I was doing at the time that have lapsed and need to be reinstituted and also of some people I really have to thank for their support on the anniversary of that time. Hmmm.
This past week has been very odd. An outburst of policing issues for starters. On Monday, one of my quality assurance assignments was the focus of the day. When I disclosed the purpose of my visit to the clerk, they were very nervous. No need to have been, for they had obviously had worked hard to prepare for the inspection. While we were working together on one of the tests, the shop keeper was recounting the events of his early morning business. Police arriving at the door to ask to see the video from their security cameras. A report from another nearby business raising fears for the safety of an infant that appeared to have been removed from a stroller. He was really upset at the potential harm to a child, but didn't have enough information to determine whether it was serious or not. Turned out to be a false alarm, but better for the police to over-react to the information from most people's perspective. What irritated a lot of people though was that the media immediately assumed and speculated on the worst case scenario, based on the area of the city where it happened, as well as the race of the alleged perpetrator. Hmmmmm again.
Next day was spent with A+ downtown. We wanted to enjoy a warm spring day walking as much as we could, you see. He was worried about my breathing, because of the problems I had with the pollution last time we were in the core. I had decocted the sap of the fresh poplar tree buds - with some other herbs - in the interim though, and had had one dose of the resulting mixture. I was still a bit uncomfortable, but we were able to walk for about five hours altogether, including the travel time. This time of year the pollen released by newly blooming plant life really bothers my lungs, but makes me happy all the same as Spring asserts herself. We visited one of our favorite restaurants for dim sum, then window shopped travel packages - not that I can afford a passport let alone airline tickets, but one can dream, right? Next we travelled along the river path taking photos as we wandered. Crossed over to one of the boutique shopping nodes in the city to visit shops offering wares affiliated with our respective avocations. Mine, the bookshop with numerous spirituality texts, as well as the astrology information I use from time to time. Several psychic readers were prowling about, either chatting with other customers in the store or on the phone. Some discussion on the situation in Tibet catching at my ears. A+ was interested in the tantric section, it seemed. We headed off next to the graphic novels/comic book store that is an anchor for aficionados in our city. Prominently displayed posters advertising the upcoming weekend comic and entertainment expo at the end of the month. Picked up some brochures for my sons, since there are three who always loved that literature.
We had some discussion about alternate routes while travelling. It is another theme that seems to be interweaving itself anytime walking is part of the day. Not always using the same routes. Following the path that intuitively suggests itself at the time. The week prior it saved me a lot of time and trouble as our train service cratered in this part of town, for example. I had already decided to take a bus that had no interaction required with the train, you see. Not certain why, but avoiding the train as much as possible has been one of those over-riding intuitions. Turned out when I arrived in my community at the end of our excursion that that was borne out again. An unusually strong police presence, both in uniform and undercover. What rattled me though was the presence of some grim faced gurkhas. Don't ever want them mad at me, nuh uh. Decided not to hang around waiting for the connector bus to take me home, since trouble was apparently anticipated - soon. I had found a really cheap pair of earbuds - I love sales - at the store the day before, so hooked up with my ipod and walked home instead. I actually find I walk longer and farther, because the beat keeps me wanting to move. Oh yeah.
Wednesday I had two quality assurance assignments. Bus travel again, with walking in between. On the train a few days prior, one of the parking lots of the department stores where I inventory was filled with ambulances and fire trucks. Odd. Odder yet, was that the day I travelled to meet A+ downtown, one of their other branches had the same activity going on. This time there was a crowd of the store's staff all clustered around the one ambulance, while the fire trucks roared up. Made me wonder if, perhaps, some sabotage of the air quality systems was occurring. That was the reason for the alternate travel choices for the Wednesday assignments. One of that department store's sites en-route - didn't want to see any more emergency vehicles arriving, makes me nervous about working there again in the future. Besides, I really am enjoying the opportunity to be outdoors in such great walking weather. Stopped at the grocery store on the way home - the cupboards were very bare, you see. My youngest and I decided we both need to go on a voluntary diet, so the purchases were decided departures from our regular grocery list, another alternate "route". We agreed we would follow the same diet we had about a year ago when we were so very broke that we had no choice. We both lost a lot of weight then. Nice to be able to consciously make the choice this year. Another sign of progress over the past year, right? The cabbie who helped me home and I having a really interesting discussion about the Canadian economy, based on a CBC panel discussion I had listened to the night before. Sometimes people from other parts of the world can completely change one's perspective, because of their unique experiences and insights not fettered by our own national blinders, eh?
Yesterday was perhaps the strangest of this week's days. My tech from the election work - and co-worker at one of my downtown assignments - e-mailed, then called asking to get together for coffee. We have been chatting back and forth by email for the past couple of years with the intent of comparing notes, but it sounded more urgent in the morning voicemail somehow. He picked me up about half an hour later. I was running on a couple of days of sleep deprivation, because my oldest son has been arriving in the middle of the night from his work. I was staying up to make certain he had dinner and time to talk. Maybe that is part of the reason the conversation seemed strange. There had been a gang related incident in the community late the evening before, so, as we approached the local Canadian based coffee chain we all favour, my tech expressed distress as it became obvious that a large contingent of police and several media groups were also at the same site. We grabbed a couple of coffees at the drive-through, then sat in the parking lot of the park next to the shop. I guess my tech didn't want to be overheard, since he wanted to discuss some of the confidential issues we had worked on together at both the election and the downtown assignment. You know, the identity theft and break-ins we had to deal with during that last election, as well as the environmental problems we had tried to get addressed at that downtown assignment. We both feel that some of what has occurred since in our personal lives - difficulty finding work and the type of work we do now, for example - has been the result of our audacity to speak out about the problems we found and documented. He especially wanted more information about my downtown supervisor. Said he had had a very unpleasant encounter with him after we had completed that joint assignment. I told him what I could, but there was always an aspect to those assignments that had more to do with investigations than with the day-to-day management of the data. I was only told on an as-needs basis about that aspect of the work. There are still major questions in my own mind about some of what I witnessed of my supervisor's activities that only add to the confusion, rather than adding clarity to the discussion. I explained some of the background in my volunteer and paid work life that lead up to being recruited to work with that supervisor. It was the only way I could give any meaning to some of the work I was asked to do or some of the incidents that happened as a result. What was disturbing were the parallels that my tech had experienced in his interactions with that company/supervisor.
I'm not certain why, but as we talked over things, my tech kept driving from one parking area to another - driving around, doubling back, then heading off to another of the coffee chain's stores to get refills as the conversation explored incidents, theories and our current circumstances. Sitting in a parking lot watching airplanes fly over, then going to another coffee shop to get our third refill, then sitting and talking in another parking lot. A discussion too at the last point about the spiritual aspects of some of our choices. Something he has never indicated is part of his personality before this time. Some concern about the level of depression/frustration he was expressing. It triggered recollections of the movie "The Fountain" that A+ and I watched together last week. Left me thinking hard and studying some of my own research texts after our talk; this conversation almost seemed to flow out of or expand on those questions. My tech seemed to be trying to make a decision about what to do next. It also seemed as though he sensed or had heard about another assignment coming up. He actually warned me against working with my previous supervisor again. I explained that I had documented his nasty treatment of me in the last two assignments with him and that I really didn't want to find myself in that situation again. That said, I really need to find other work, since the inventory company business still seems to not have stabilized - one assignment that was posted for me next week has already been cancelled - but I doubt very much he will approach me again. Even though I'm better off financially than last year - my mortgage is at least secure and my youngest is helping with some expenses - I have no more cash reserves to fall back on. I can't face any more under-employment. If that supervisor approaches me again I will likely take the work - I do love the research I was immersed in, in each of those assignments. Brain candy, y'all.
I can hear stirrings of my two sons in their bedrooms - oldest and youngest - so I guess I should go start lunch. Talk to you later, dear diary.
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