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18:45 - 07.10.08
dreaming
I love autumn best of the seasons, dear diary. The crunch of leaves beneath one's feet and the myriad colours of harvest time glowing wherever one looks. The air seems fresher, the quality of the light is diffused and gentle and the weather is more even tempered. Well, except for days like today.

I had a migraine three days running last week that felt like it was weather induced. Some of my co-workers were struggling with their own reactions to the ambient air too - mostly allergies and their symptoms. No tangible change in weather then, though. Woke up with that same migraine, a fever and muscles in spasm that let me know that something potent was on it's way. Add in a stomach heaving, indicating that something I ate yesterday didn't agree with me. I managed to get to the point where all my clothes were on except my shoes and my lunch was packed up with my work gear. Tried to visualize getting on the bus and couldn't. Surrendered to the inevitable and emailed/voicemailed to say I wouldn't be at work today. Sigh. Can't afford it, but I also can't afford to get really ill again either. Saw my youngest out the door for his workday, then crawled back into bed.

I dreamt that I was living with a group of actors. I was preparing myself for a certain role in a play. Practicing my lines with some of my friends and trying to determine what type of persona the director was thinking of for that character. It seemed as though I had become as expert at that role as anyone of my friends had ever seen. They were certain I would ace the audition. I arrived at the door of the theatre - and froze. I could still deliver those lines with ease and grace, but the fear of being rejected by the director made it seem impossible to enter and take to the stage. My friends were all there cheering me on and one of the other females helped me through that door.

Then there was a tremendous scream as the wind battered my house. A loud thump against the side of the house made me jump. Five cats raced into my bedroom and dived onto me. "Save us Mom". Since there was no room left for me, I got out of bed and headed for the window. The rowan (mountain ash) tree that guards my balcony was bent double with the force of the storm. It writhed with the rage expressed in that elemental presence. I headed out to the front of my home, cats all clustered around my legs, to check the state of my poplar tree. I could hear the branches scraping across the roof. It was hardly moving, I guess because the bulk of the house sheltered it from the worst of the wind. The clouds were almost at roof height and thick and black. Beyond that was clear blue sky. What was oddest was that the storm came from the southwest. That is usually where our warm weather comes from. This time arctic air flowed in from that direction instead. Just strange.

Fed and watered those scaredy cats and tidied up a bit. My bones weren't aching so much once the storm hit, but the migraine and fever lingered on as did the stomach pains. I finally crawled back into bed after getting dinner started for my two sons.

This time I dreamt of being at some sort of luxury cruise or spa. I was with a group of females who seemed to be long-time friends. We were taking courses of some description, but enjoying ourselves all the same. It reminded me of the weekend conferences I used to attend as a volunteer for our provincial home and school association. Some of the best networking and learning I did happened at those conferences. It seemed as though anything we wanted we could have. I was bemused by the freedom we were granted, as well as the largesse offered while we were there. I was dreaming of the banquet that was held for us on the last evening of the cruise. Woke up to find those darned cats again. Fighting with each other over which spot beside Mom they would occupy. I guess I should be happy that they love me without condition or expectation though. Food, water, clean litter and cuddles is all they crave.

A+ is calling, so bye for now.

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