10:13 - 25.09.08
Incidental
I had a migraine by the time I left for work yesterday, dear diary. Haven't had one of those for a long time. I think the combination of trying to write those incident reports that were required "immediately", before I went to work combined with the news of the death in the extended family had a lot to do with it. I also suspected that the incident reports might make the work day rather messy and uncomfortable. After talking with the office manager and the regional manager for the inventory company, I found it necessary to include a lot more detail than I had first intended. It sounded as though, combined with various other issues, at both head offices - ours and the client's - that a rather nasty storm might be brewing. Trying to be accurate without being inflammatory and creating some space to find common ground for the two parties so the contract can be completed amicably seemed important. Took nearly three hours and three pages to get my report the way I wanted it. Also put me way behind schedule for getting out the door to catch that one bus. Lucky that as a single Mom I learned guerilla dressing and scheduling. If I have to I can prepare everything I need, including my own toilette, in about ten minutes. Just made that bus.
One of the things that has really bothered me about this contract is the one 90 minute tape of music that has been played over and over throughout every single workday at this site. All female singers, often shrill and many trying to reach that "torch singer" designation. Very hard on the nerves after 8 hours. White noise is used as a form of torture in many really violent countries who keep prisoners of conscience. Leaves no visible scars, but can really mess with the mind as reported by Amnesty International and other human rights organizations. There is no comparison between those prisoners and workers like me of course, other than the effects of such white noise - a continuously playing tape of unwelcome music cranked up to be very loud - still has the same effect on a worker. Yesterday, at least, that tape had been replaced with another that had music that was a lot less shrill, so my headache didn't get any worse.
The store manager was very polite and kind to me as usual, but it was also apparent that she didn't want to speak with me directly. Direction came through other staff who were also respectful but cautious. Seems reports travel quickly - or maybe I was just interpreting what I observed through a skewed perspective. Don't know. The newest staff member let slip that everyone was really tense because the big kahunas from head office were due to arrive for a formal inspection either today or tomorrow. She said everyone was feeling very stressed - could be the other explanation for some of the behaviours I noted yesterday. See what I mean about filters of one's own mind creating beliefs and expectations that might not have as much basis in reality as one would think. The mind is incredibly powerful and can create numerous "realities" for one specific situation when many people are present. Tried to tread as lightly as possible thinking of that. Talking with the new man in my life helped a lot at the end of the day with respect to calming down and destressing. His day had made for a lot of pressure for him since the planning for the week ahead will take the mastery of a logistical genius. I could commiserate, but not be of much help. Frustrating.
My brother and I talked a bit as well yesterday and today. He'll be picking me up to attend the funeral together tomorrow. Emailed back and forth with my friend running for office trying to find some ways I could be effective in helping her too. One day at a time I guess. Leaving messages/emails to complete interactions begun yesterday with respect to the job searches and other fun things like the bank negotiations. Sigh.
Anyway time to go do the guerilla preparation for the day.
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