01:45 - 21.01.08
Bubbles
My phone rang just at the end of the workday on Friday, not long after I had walked in the door from that one interview. It was a woman telling me I had been short-listed for a position I would really like because it would allow me to work in an area that has past ties to some volunteer work I've done. At least in an oblique way. It is an area of endeavour for which I've developed quite a passion - that's evident in some of the posts I've written to you over time. She stated that she had just sent an email to me that had an attachment that required filling out. Deadline for return is Tuesday - full moon in Leo - right on the cusp of my eighth astrological house, no less. Hmmm. Opened said attachment to find five essay questions waiting for me. Read them over a couple of times, visited the company's website and then saved the document for later. This one would take considerable thought to respond to well. I was still too tied up in the last interview process to let go and move on to something completely different.
That was a good choice since the phone rang again - the agent from the placement agency that had arranged that Tuesday interview. The interview that was for short term work. The company had decided to go with one of the other candidates. It was what I expected given that I had indicated I was looking for a long term contract or a permanent position. I had told the agent in the follow up debrief that I would be interested in the position but only because I wanted to work with the interviewer. I really need the money and would have accepted the assignment if it had been offered but I would have had to continue looking for something else which left me feeling quite ambivalent. Decision made on my behalf was probably the best one since there had always been some intuition telling me not to involve myself with that company. Very confusing. I did send a thank you note to the two agents who share the position anyway. After all they did try to accommodate both me and the employer as best they could. But you see what I mean about what one agency thinks the other wants and what the other truly wants but can't seem to articulate clearly. The initial email I received from the agent clearly stated that it was a fulll time position you see. I checked back when I returned home after the meeting just to be certain I hadn't misunderstood. Then there was the call from the agent who I'd met that day asking for my references so he could start that part of the process. Good news/bad news/good news. But still no income - I am really getting stressed about that aspect of it since my creditors' patience is likely going to end very soon. Sigh.
To calm myself a bit that evening I set up the new foot bath and tried it out while watching "Grease". Sang along for good measure - "Tell me more...". My feet felt really relaxed after, which relaxed the whole body, so that was a good choice too. I remembered what my favorite astrologer had said, on the one tape he made for me a couple of years ago when I had the money to pay him for what turned out to be an excellent consultation. He had been talking about, what was then, a difficult upcoming major series of aspects involving Mr Pluto in my chart, that he had had to face about a decade earlier. After going through his crisis, he had dealt with it partly by visualizing the worry, fears, and concern being encased by pink bubbles that floated off into space. "Tiny Bubbles, in the wine..." Well he wasn't drinking and it sounds as though he has made the choice to be a teetotaller, but maybe you get the drift, dear diary. It isn't an avoidance tactic because one still has to deal with the physical repercussions. It does give one a mechanism to deal with unproductive worry and negative thinking though, both of which can be quite a barrier to moving on and forward with one's life. Why pink? He never said, but pink is the colour of love, isn't it. Let go of regrets, self-recriminations .... Yesterday and today I reviewed my posts to you about some of that time that the aspect in question was really hammering me down. Let go and let God is the best I can do. A couple of other visualization techniques came into play to try to keep the lessons, but nothing else. One can only try - right?
Right now I really need to visualize more of those bubbles until I can sleep. Good night dear diary.
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