05:51 - 14.10.07
cons and pros
About a month ago an invitation to attend a free financial management workshop in this city arrived in my in-box. Headlined presenters were a very well known international entrepreneur and that "secrets" person. I don't have any money to invest, nor any prospects of same in the near future, but sometimes that can't happen without some idea of how to begin. Right? This seemed a reasonable option for that, so I asked my youngest, who is already taking some courses in that area, if he wanted to attend with me. He agreed and I booked us in. That all-day seminar was scheduled for today. As I mentioned last night, my youngest came home feeling very ill and dived for his bed. I was feeling about the same. When I woke up early this morning I checked in with him to see if he felt up to attending. Not really and nor did I. One of the things that made the decision not to attend easier for us was the agenda that had arrived in my mailbox about a week ago. Discussions centered mostly around mortgages - other peoples'. How to profit from their investments in their family's lives and well-being. Some of the language suggested that most of the information offered would not be legal in this country. Based that assessment on the free real estate webinar offered by the one legal firm comparing and contrasting US and Canadian law on the subject that I listened in on last spring. Given that an extended family dinner was also scheduled for later in the afternoon and the lack of applicability to financial management in this country, we decided that we would take a bye on the seminar today. Maybe we'll regret that later, but attending to immediate physical needs seemed more important at the time.
I spent the morning fussing about the dish I was asked to bring to the family dinner instead. I had prepared the ingredients the night before, but some assembly was required. Called number four son to see if he and his partner and son would be able to make it. Not - his partner was at work and he was home as ill as we had been earlier in the week. I could hear my grandson - the one who just turned one - playing happily in the background, as his Dad chatted with me. My son's big news was that they had been successful in submitting a bid on a home that they had had their eye on for several months at a considerably discounted price. Pending a house inspection and the final financial approval, they are scheduled to take possession mid-November. The next bit of discussion centered on getting a description of the home. Backs on to a school yard and has all the important amenities for families close by, with an easy, non-congested rush hour route to their respective jobs available. Exciting.
Talk then turned to the threatened layoffs the big oil companies are waving in front of the citizens of this province as "persuasion" to stop the change in royalty configurations. Like just about everyone else who has expressed an opinion in my hearing - and in some very interesting action oriented emails in my inbox - my son is beginning to feel that perhaps nationalizing that non-renewable resource is a compelling idea, given the success and increased profitability of countries like Norway. Good examples/alternatives to consider anyway. I am guessing the Norwegian government would be pleased to advise us as how to proceed. The current oil companies', the ones making those threats, lack of respect for the community that has allowed them such easy money, seems to be the trigger for the massive shift in public opinion away from those same companies that choose to utter threats and ultimatums. The resource is naturally occuring and in the ground here. Even though they've threatened to take their balls and go elsewhere to play, there aren't that many other playgrounds. Most of those are located in the midst of war zones. Those zones mostly caused by the resource underneath the virtual pitcher's mound and the machinations of those same bullying companies. Rather than fighting among ourselves, the citizens of this province seem to have recognized who really is the source of the conflict this time, rather than being mesmerized with the spectre of a illusory straw tiger created by said oil companies when the National Energy Program caused the same threatening reaction from them in 1980.
Number three son called directly after I hung up from number four son. He was letting us know he was going to be picking up number one son and his two children to make the journey to the deep south of the city where the family gathering was planned. As a result, my youngest and I headed off on our own. Took a cab partway, because carrying still hot dishes from the oven wasn't a possibility on a bus/train ride. I know - wusses, but we were both still feeling ill and the alternative was not to attend at all. My one sister picked us up about 2/3 of the way to her home at an agreed meeting place. Two of my three sisters, my one sister's(the hosts) mother-in-law, my brother, my Dad and four of my sons and their respective families, those not working, were there. 19 people all together ate buffet treats that would normally be found at any Thanksgiving gathering.
Number three son was snapping photos of me with his new camera and I objected, as his brothers teased me about my phobia of same. Talk then turned among us to stories about their children and their lives. My oldest grandson's birthday is the day before Hallowe'en. He told me he wants a BMX bike for his present. Hmmm. Don't have that kind of money to spend right now, but maybe there are some hidden financial manouevres possible with non-tangible assets that can make that wish happen. We'll find a way. Talk about time together with the two children and my son rounded out that discussion.
Next up, some discussion of the municipal election among my sons and me as we speculated about possible outcomes on Monday. Two of them remarking that they thought I should run - again. The one time I did so being a by-election for local councillor, when they were still all very small. I had just attempted that because a lot of the volunteer projects I was working on with various committees were all heavily dependent on support and approvals of the municipal government and the only other serious contender had been quite actively and destructively opposed to their success. Made certain most of my campaign funds came out of my own pocket, so I wouldn't be vulnerable to the "You owe me" syndrome epidemic at the time. My costs were less than a tenth of that only other serious contender. First thing she did when she won - with a very narrow margin - was to try and seize all the money we had fund-raised toward building a free family-focussed recreational park for about 150,000 residents, in order to spend it on a project that would serve about 600 people tops - those with considerable money to spend already, the ones who had contributed to her campaign. Such is politics. Our committee was able to stop her by making her actions very public through community and school newsletters, but the price paid for that and the revenge she inflicted on many of us continued for years after.
Politics is a very ugly, dirty game sometimes and I have no desire to be part of the process for the sake of the position itself. That's why I enjoyed the Returning Officer position so much. Sometimes average citizens can make a big difference, if only they get off their fannies and vote. All they have to do is calculate how much power brokers, political parties and candidates are willing to spend to get even one vote, to understand how critical it is. I loved the opportunity to facilitate the vote for them - Canadian citizens. Anyway, if ever an issue causes me to feel as strongly as I did so many years ago, then maybe I would consider the idea but working from outside the system is usually much more effective. One can maintain one's values and integrity as well, something that is very important to me. The downside is that then one is usually volunteering and the punishment is the financial penalty that is inflicted with that choice. When I ran years ago, it was because I thought it was in the best interest of my sons and their generation. I don't regret any of the work I did. I think I've taught my sons to think in terms of their children and their children's children by my own example when making their choices politically and socially. They'll have to take on some of those tasks themselves now, although I'll be there to help too.
My grandchildren are always very well-behaved in "big company" and played together happily today. Lots of chatter about things going on in each of our lives in the extended family. My one sister's mother-in-law is the parent of the sister-in-law living on the island in British Columbia. She was really pleased with their visit last month and filled me in on the activities she and her other two daughters had tried - like yoga. Next up I did agree to read the other sister's cards, although I really wasn't all that comfortable with it. That boundaries issue again. For example, why did she bring an unexpected gift for my one grandchild, while ignoring the other grand-daughter or the grandson whose birthday is imminent. As an adult she should know better, especially given our Mother's very vocal insistence that favortism should never be allowed to be shown by adults interacting with us when we were small. I didn't want to reward such behaviour, but how to say no? Boundaries - bleagh.
What did emerge during the course of the dinner, as the younger members of the family innocently revealed it without realizing it and as I watched several scenarios play out as I was reading those cards - which revealed even more through that one sister's questions - was the hidden relationship conflict or obstacle that I puzzled about in your electrons a couple of posts ago. That consistent reference to it from each astrologer that I regularly visit. I had wondered about the one sister and her hubby's offers of assistance in gutting my home after years of no substantive contact, added into the other sister's sudden interest in my goings on over the past few months. It seems to me from my perspective that their attention is more about serving their own best interests as they percieve them - at my expense. I had hoped that wouldn't be the case. The psychologists'key questions "why this action and why now" and "what is the difference from the day before" ringing in my metaphorical ears throughout the past six months. It was impossible to hide those motives as they played out in the physical today. Of course, that is a very hurtful confirmation of their intent, especially when the families in question are already very well set in terms of resources and assets. It also explains the behaviour of the daughter-in-law who is the mom of my youngest grand-daughter - the one who did receive the gift - too, in vivid hues. Not that my youngest grand-daughter doesnt deserve gifts but equally so do her cousins. Uh huh. I wonder if there is the possibility of the replay of the story of Bathsheba and David being played out here. You know the story of the one lamb. Never mind - I'm still just processing the disappointment. Maybe the issues I've written about above are influencing my emotional responses and some projection is occurring. Don't know.
The one sister and her husband did drive my youngest and I home at the end of the afternoon. Commenting on the real estate market for most of the drive home. More revelations about the rationalizations used to justify their behaviour seemed to emerge. My brother and my Dad both seemd to be staying at arm's length from the entire cabal. They are leaving on their dream trip to New Zealand in a couple of weeks, so it wouldn't make a lot of sense to become entangled even if they were interested. My brother did offer to help with my job search through references and was really interested in the piecework I have been doing the past while. Glad that he seemed to respect the choices I've made anyway. Some extended discussion with my oldest son about his two children was a good review of positive developments too.
Anyway the sun is coming up and I need to wake my youngest so he can go to work. Good day, dear diary. More sleep might make me less cranky, eh?
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