01:48 - 25.08.07
Help
I'm feeling quite down dear diary. I went to the interview with the hiring manager I mentioned yesterday, this afternoon. Fussed over what to wear as usual. Being that Fridays are casual days in this city how does one balance that with the fact one is interviewing for a job. The result was that I looked quite overdressed in an office where everyone else was in denim or shorts of some description. The gentleman who opened the door for me seemed to appreciate the effort I had made to look presentable. I thanked him for being considerate and he responded warmly and profusely - kind of took me aback. Nice looking fellow and in my age group too. Not that I'm looking of course, but I'm not entirely dead yet either. It was nice to get a positive reaction about one's appearance, especially when one isn't certain if the effect is all that good anyway. I had opted for the red blazer again, but I felt like a small child wearing their mother's clothes. I also need to get a new bra fairly quickly. All the support has gone out of the one I have and I hate that jiggling sensation. Add in the shoes with the high heels and I was feeling rather miserable if the truth be known.
The manager was in a meeting when I arrived, so I waited in the lobby. Several of the women working there passed by, while carrying out their work and it seemed they were curious about me. A couple of them kept asking the receptionist if she had been able to contact the manager, each time eliciting a "no". They seemed anxious that I not wait too long, as if I was a guest not a job applicant. The one lady even kept going and checking the manager's door to see if it was open. Just nice people, but still a bit unusual. The manager finally arrived about twenty minutes later and invited me to her office. She seemed really uncomfortable, as though she was intimidated by me.
She was uncomfortable making conversation and the left side of her face would sometimes twitch as though she was having difficulty getting the words out. She was asking questions - health related - that are borderline in terms of what one can or can not ask an applicant. She kept remarking that she thought I would be too bored with the work. I responded that I could see a lot of opportunities to expand my knowledge and skills considerably, but she didn't want to accept my perception of the tasks involved. The work is more with financial processes and real estate, things I actually have been wanting to learn more about in that industry for some time. It has transferable applications in about four or five other industries in addition to the one that I have been working in, you see. She said that there were two positions that the company needed to fill, then backtracked and said that the one that she thought would be most appropriate for me had no openings at the moment. She just kept commenting that I was over-qualified and wouldn't be happy with their firm. How could she know that? I kept responding that I was really intrigued by the oppotunities for learning that were presenting themselves as she described the work, but she just didn't want to hear that I guess.
It seemed from the beginning of the interview, that she had aleady decided not to give me the chance to try. That is her perogative, of course, but I would have preferred if she had called and cancelled the meeting instead. I am guessing that her boss - the one that interviewed me over the telephone - had insisted she see me. He had, during our conversation, seemed to have been trying to emphasize all the benefits I could realize from the work and also mentioned salary as though trying to induce my interest that way too. Maybe I misunderstood his comments and arrived with expectations that were unrealistic. Don't know, but I felt as though I had wasted my bus tickets on a journey that was doomed from the beginning. Bleagh.
My youngest was struggling with something this morning too. Just couldn't seem to make himself get up and go to work. He had gone to visit number two son and his wife the evening before so maybe he was just tired. He mentioned his buddy, the one who stayed with us at the beginning of July, had been kicked off the social networking service we use, because he was being aggressive about promoting that pyramid scheme of his. I don't think he understands why from what my youngest said. I guess we all have our crosses to bear where work is concerned. My son speculated that my age might be part of the problem too, based on what his buddy and the operators of that pyramid enterprise have said. He said they stated that there are quotas where hiring of older workers is concerned. I have heard that before, but dismissed it given that employers are complaining they can't find enough skilled labour. Skill comes from experience doesn't it? I hope they are as wrong about that, as they are about how they go about promoting their "business". Truth is I have to pay my bills just like people younger than me. There seems to be a perception that I don't need the income and I'm not quite certain how to impress upon the interviewers that this isn't about pocket money. I need to have electiricty and gas in the house come winter, don't you know. Maybe I'm misreading the whole thing and maybe I shouldn't speculate or project my impressions on to someone else eh? Maybe tomorrow will be better.
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