01:23 - 16.08.07
dissonance
The day started out well enough. I had a lot of energy it seemed thus started planning all sorts of things I could do to spend it. I should know better, shouldn't I? It was a lot like going shopping for groceries when one is hungry. Way over-committed and expectations of achievement that can't possibly be met. In addition, I kept starting things then they would go sideways or interruptions would sidetrack me. For example, I tried to work a tutorial for a software program I do use quite often. Just wanted to move up a notch in my skills. Couldn't get all the necessary bits assembled no matter how I tried. I don't know if it was the manual or me that was the problem - likely a bit of both. Sort of a fingernails on the blackboard day, I guess.
I don't even know why I felt I had to do what I was doing - just that energy like an electrical current burning out my circuits. I finally gave up trying and surrendered to the need to calm down and slow down. Picked up my copy of "The Deathly Hallows" and started reading to the cats. After all, they have waited patiently for me to read it to myself twice. I think it was the second paragraph when I looked up to find all five of them in a semi circle on the floor, lying in various postures and attitudes as they listened. Just like being back in my sons'classrooms in their early years, although the boys wouldn't thank me for the comparison. Even so, I had those felines' rapt attention for a spell. I found reading this particular story difficult, because of the harshness of it in places. One can't realistically write about damaging or destroying a soul and the sacrifice necessary to stop it without being so, but to speak it out loud seems to amplify the power of the words considerably. Odd.
Continued sending out resumes and researching various issues. I think the other part of the problem I was having with the day is that I have been working hard at several tasks for a number of weeks now without seeing any tangible progress. Guess I should just remember "Patience Grasshopper". One "can't push the river", so it is said, but right now I feel as though I'm caught in an undertow. Bleagh. Guess maybe I'll just hope I get up on the right side of the bed tomorrow. Good night dear diary.
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