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15:20 - 10.08.07
Home Truths
The dream I remember from last night was different. I was living in another community that seemed to be in another city. I had gone out for a walk just for the pleasure of it. I came upon a large building set on an elevated piece of land. It was oval or round in shape and there was a lot of activity occurring there. As I walked up to the sidewalk that would take me to the entry, a young man - maybe late teens or early twenties - appeared. He was standing on the grass next to the walkway praying and singing praises. His whole purpose seemed to be to express his gratitude to the infinite for all that was good in his life. That appeared to be everything that allowed him to live, from the cells in his body on up. He didn't move, but it was also apparent that he was very aware of everything in his surroundings - and well beyond. It appeared that he existed in two or more realities given the light and energy around him. I stayed nearby for a while just witnessing the joy and rapture on his face. Lifted me to a entirely different understanding of reality.

Eventually I did enter the building, although I don't recall leaving the walkway. It seemed to be a combination of an airport and recreation center. Not such a bad idea at that. I was standing at a baggage carousel, but could see into a gymnasium full of people enjoying family/community time together and I could smell the chlorine that indicated a swimming pool was nearby. The word "beach" appeared over an entry way somewhere down the concourse. As I watched, a lot of the people I went to school with appeared; almost as though they were travelling as a group together. They seemed to be enjoying each other's company. Some of them moved to another area that seemed to be for ice skating since there were rentals of same offered at the door. I turned away from that sight, because I really don't much care for hockey. I know - sacrilege for any Canadian to say, but there you are. At that point, one of the males from school came over to talk with me. We had been in a lot of classes together and were passing acquaintances - about the same as most of the other males. I kept to myself, my part time work and my hobbies and the friends I had as result. Too shy to mix and terrified of most of the opposite sex anyway. I hated being groped, you see and that was about the entire scope of most of their social skills at that time. This particular fellow had always been respectful though, so I didn't mind when he took my hand when he came up to greet me at the baggage carousel. At that point the dream ended, although I did feel a kindness and concern emanating from that particular person as they faded out of my consciousness.

Yesterday was almost completely dedicated to sending out more resumes. Sigh. It takes a fair amount of time to read a job posting and craft a cover letter to attach with one's resume. A lot of the potential employers also want one to enroll on their human resources site, before they will accept your application. To enroll sometimes requires almost re-writing one's resume as well. Very time consuming, but what other options does one have if one wants to be considered for a position. The good thing has been that there have been as many suitable postings - as in I am qualified, would really enjoy doing the work and a reasonable wage is offered for same - in the past week as there were in the past three months. Most the postings before were entry level and very low paying. Maybe the illness the past six weeks was to slow my job search down until the position that is meant for me is available. My youngest thinks the opinions I express to you, dear diary, are part of the reason the search is going so slow, but I doubt there is an employer in this city who reads this blog. After all one has to know the name before finding it. You aren't searchable courtesy of the Diaryland services, right? Never know. My youngest was still giving me a hard time about how atrophied my muscles were, but my comment was that at least I had lost, instead of gaining, weight as I usually do when I am sick. "Count one's blessings wherever one can", said the dream messenger. Right?

The two of us, my youngest and I, went out to bank and buy groceries last night. Catching up on partial conversations raised during the past week as well as new topics of the day while we walked and shopped. About a week ago he had been asking for specifics about the Great Depression - the Dirty Thirties. The weather patterns then seemed to be the original reason for asking. Sun cycles that repeat themselves giving years of drought was what he was asking about. Since the late 1800's there have been at least four major cycles of drought that drove migration patterns across the face of North America including my Dad's family. That's how I know about them, because that was the answer to why the family had chosen to move from homes they had already worked hard to build. Starting in the mid-west US, moving a little further north and west every generation it seemed since that time. In addition, all the time spent with my Mom's parents throughout my childhood has given me a huge reservoir of family stories - myths and legends too - about the dirty thirties and how they survived as a family. A lot of privation and hard work mostly. And a great deal of "luck" as well. My grandparents always acknowledged those who didn't make it through or who suffered greatly. Their gratitude in knowing it was only by the grace of god that they were allowed to succeed where others failed. "There but for the Grace of God go I". They always seemed to feel very badly for those who weren't so fortunate.

After the news of the past few days on the stockmarket wobbles, my son's questions were more about why the economies of the industrialized nations were so unstable as to crash during that period of mother nature's treacherous instability. The answers are pretty much the same for then as now. A laissez-faire attitude of the governments of the day. Financial systems set up to allow unbridled greed of the favoured elite of the day with minimal checks and balances. Nearly unlimited credit given for wealth that existed only on paper and that was not secured by anything of substance. Sort of like the dot.com crash. In addition, that created an enormous amount of inflation. It's economic penalty was legislated in labour law to be downloaded onto and at the expense of the workers who were actually producing the wealth of those countries. They were shut out of the benefits almost entirely, so that the non-productive wealthy could dine out on their efforts. I think Conrad Black and the Enron boys could stand in as the current crop of robber barons and industrialists of that earlier age with no real difference.

What really amazes me is the surprise expressed at the current loss of liquidity on the stock markets. In the downtown industry I consulted to, it has been apparent for several years that serving the greed of stockholders and their boards of directors have made for very bad and dangerous business decisions in their name. Whole populations in this province have been put at risk for health and safety issues with the blessings of our local politicians. It is never called bribes or baksheesh, but the local securities commission scandal a couple of years ago exposed the entire underbelly of the action - had anyone bothered to look. In other provinces there is legislation that holds stockholders to account if a company does something illegal or immoral at their direction, but not here. One of the strongest arguments for setting up a national securities body and dismantling the provincial ones has been clearly demonstrated in this province and our sister province to the west. The latest disinformation in the media is about not enough workers to fill jobs. It was really all about trying to force wages and benefits to the level of poor countries where the cost of living is a fraction of what it is here. Local workers aren't willing to accept those terms for employment that would fatten the portfolios of volatile stockholders around the world at their expense. The drop in the housing market and the current exodus of people moving out of the province is proof of that.

Next up my son wanted to ask about nuclear energy and the push in industrialized nations to build more reactors to supply power. He hadn't been born when Chernobyl happened, but was well aware of the short and long term effects because it was a topic in school and in the community. If there is a definitive beginning of the odd weather patterns that have emerged over the past two decades, it would be at that point in time. Chernobyl's nuclear meltdown occurred at the end of April 1986. Number four son's birthday that year was totally disrupted by the vicious blizzard that occurred the day before. We were snowed in our own homes - the second week in May. Uh huh. Look at the pattern of health issues that have cropped up since then. A lot of what are considered the diseases of this generation probably have their roots in that one episode. As it is, there is still no change in how nuclear waste is disposed of in this country. Just dump it all in holes in the bedrock in the Canadian Shield, eh? It will lose some of its potency - in time.

The most exciting news of the day is all buried in the past - new revelations change entire systems of thought. Any way time to go get some housework done before that particular son arrives home for supper.

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