17:36 - 22.07.07
Readathon
The Canada Post wizard arrived at my door with the last Harry Potter book "Deathly Hallows" at 10:15 am yesterday. It was obvious from his demeanor when I opened my door that his earlier appearance at other homes had been greeted with shrieks of excitement and he was treated as a hero. I didn't shriek of course, but I did thank him profusely for not making me wait the entire day for my long awaited treat. It took me a while to settle into read it because I found I was afraid to start. For one thing the beginning of reading it meant an end as well. Also I was afraid of what might be in the story that would not work for me. As it turned out I had nothing to fear although I do think there are a number of potential books contained in the pages of that series and it's ending. For one thing the entire backstory of both Dumbledore's and Snape's families. I finished the book early in this am. Would have been sooner, but I shared reading time with my youngest after he arrived home from work - I needed a nap by then any way. He took his shift from me the second time just as I was getting to the real story about Professor Snape. That is love, that is - the Snape question being one of the biggest sources of curiosity for me throughout the series.
I was pleased with the integrity of the presentation. No cheap or easy outs - although I would have been amazed if even one such thing had been allowed in this book. It is a book I want to read through a second time though within the next day or two because there was such a dense amount of information and thought that went into it. Thanks Jo.
After I was finished the last page I went off to the drug store to pick up essential supplies for my dressing changes. I also find that about the only thing that eases the discomfort with the antibiotics I am on now is Coke - so that is now an essential item too. Considering the incredible amount of sugar and caffeine in it the caloric loss from not being able to eat much has been dealt with - right?
My Dad called me back yesterday about the Thursday misunderstanding. I think part the problem is that expectations that he holds cannot be met through this project. Quite simply I am not a small child any more and I will not accept being treated that way. I guess I should take it as a very powerful message about how my relationships with my sons need to be viewed. As adults their right to live their lives as they see fit with the companions of their choice is none of my business nor is it my place to offer up help or advice without their first consenting to it. That said one of my sisters - in discussion about the incident - kept insisting that they had always taken their cues on how to help me from me over the past 15 years since the boys' Dad left us behind the 8 ball in almost every way. Truth is that deliberate absence from any involvement in my life doesn't constitute a "taking cues from you". When I did ask for help when I was in desperate need the response was that my timing was inconvenient. I quit asking because it was just one more kick in the gut. Nor, as it was suggested by a couple of family, was it my sons' fault - children all, at the time - for the poverty. My children's lack of adequate food and clothing wasn't their choice nor something of their own devising. I could not make enough money to cover all the expenses and there was no other help most of the time. Now they have all left home, going straight from high school to the work force because neither they nor I could afford their further education. Now in their 20's they are struggling to get a foothold and survive, yet some of my extended family seem to think that they should find time after working a couple of jobs or very long hours on a single job to help me. They would if they could, but they have mouths to feed too and I still don't have the money to buy the supplies anyway. I know stop the stupid negativity. It must be the antibiotics clearing out more of the poison, I guess.
I think I am just going to reread my book and look at the sketch of what real heroes are truly like instead of the Hollywood/Bollywood versions that make so many of us miss and, therefore, hurt the real heroes in our societies. Read between the lines my children.
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