01:01 - 16.06.07
Choice
I mentioned being swarmed by mosquitos a while back, didn't I dear diary. Right now I feel like a pincushion belonging to a frenetic tailor. When I was mowing the lawn in the back yesterday, the critters were so aggressive that I wondered if they were mutants or just the north-of-60-degrees-latitude breed that my Dad always talks about. You know the ones so big that one can ride them sidesaddle and that can draw blood faster than a lab technician. At one point they were all over my head and face - even trying repeatedly to fly into my ears. Scary. After that incident with the bee or wasp last year, I don't know what to think.
Despite that I needed to complete the basic lawn care chores today. Just in case the monsoon worsens you see. I was sitting at the computer sending out more resumes and checking the review status of a few more at those companies that provide that service. One of the ones I submitted a few days ago appears to have been sent up the line - oh happy day. I have distributed my information to a much broader range of industries, because most of my skill sets are transferable or can be adapted to meet new work situations. I think that most things that happen are meant to be but that one has to at least initiate the process. I'm certain you've heard the joke about the blonde, God and the lottery ticket haven't you dear diary? You know where she prays and prays with increasing desperation to win the lottery. When she is finally able to ask the almighty why she hasn't won, the response is "Work with me on this one my dear, buy a lottery ticket." So by casting my bread upon water and praying as hard as I can that they will come back to me with the best possible outcome. Faith and a mustard seed.
Anyway as I pressed the send button for one application that was a little more demanding, I heard the neighbours on the west side of me packing up their vehicle. Sounded as though the entire family was heading off for a camping weekend based on the conversations floating up to the computer room. As they pulled out of the driveway the rain stopped and a watery sun appeared. I took the two together as a sign. First the neighbour wouldn't be around to smoke and drink beer while watching me work and also I wasn't as likely to be electrocuted if I ran out and completed mowing that front and side yard now.
The nice neighbour across the street was out and about with what looked like a visiting grandparent and the neighbourhood children were out on their bikes taking advantage of the sun as well. I powered up the mower and took about an hour to complete the rest of the work. By the time I was finished though I was very much aware that the mosquitos were as nasty today as yesterday. I itch all over - yes I do. The worst bites are the ones at the angle of the jaw. Don't know what effect the venom will have being injected directly into the lymph glands but I guess I'll find out shortly. I'm even bit throughout the hair on my head. Don't think calomine lotion or witch hazel will work there, but maybe epsom salts dissolved in warm water will ease the sting.
My youngest arrived home not long after I'd finished that task. He was in a good mood and ordered pizza as his treat. Work has been really busy and tense the last while, so I think he needed to find something to celebrate. Good food is always a good choice. We watched one of the Lone Gunman episodes and chatted. He is obviously mulling over some sort of change but is only dropping hints. He's wrestling with value issues and wants to keep that part of the decision making to himself which is as it should be. We all have things that matter more to us than what other people would choose if they were in our place, but diversity is what makes society so interesting isn't it. I've invested a lot of years teaching my sons to think for themselves and not be caught up in the "lemming syndrome", so it really pleases me when I see their unique and individual natures shine through despite all the pressures to conform or to choose to like the same things as everyone else.
That's become an issue with respect to how I choose to refurbish my home, you see, so I guess I might also be mirroring some of that behavioural process back to my youngest. Some of my relatives want very much to help me refurbish my house, but have a vastly different value system than mine. After researching a lot of issues about heating and building materials that will be "green" choices that also meet my aesthetic values, I'm not willing to have someone else tell me that I can't do things a certain way because of the initial expense or the "return on investment" mantra of realtors that they see as gospel. That may be correct if what I want is to turn a profit or do the work as cheaply as possible, but this isn't about my house. It is about investing in myself. I want to create a home that I finally feel comfortable in. I don't care if Martha or the realtor or anyone else approves or not. I haven't been comfortable in this building since we moved in decades ago with respect to the inside. The yard is mine and I have tended it as best I can. I've invested a lot of effort in the development of the broader community as well. Now I want to feel as happy inside my home as I do when I am outside. I think the echo for my son is that he wants to feel as comfortable inside his skin as he does in social circumstances. That's a pretty mature goal for someone who hasn't even reached their second decade of life, don't you think dear diary?
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