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00:59 - 06.06.07
Waking Dreams
In the old days - you know, when the only telephone was a landline - it was common for people to call up their friends just to chat. The opening line usually went something to the efffect "Hey, whatcha doing?" with an ambling relaxed sort of chatter to follow if the recipient had the time and inclination. Then came voicemail. Calls were screened and rightfully so, since there was so little time and too much to do. Cell phones changed that time waster into a social convention again as people whiled away their time on public transit or wherever. Filled in the gaps in a friendship for a lot of people. Now the phenomenon has morphed again and shown up in email form. Instead of "Hey, whatcha doing?" there is now a list of 20 or 30 questions that can be forwarded to all one's friends at once asking everything from what one is wearing to one's food preferences to the last movie viewed or the last restaurant visited. I sometimes participate, because even though I still prefer face to face conversation above all, not all of my friends are available for such simple social interactions. Some live on the other side of the world, some I've never met in person, some are so overburdened with day to day responsibilites that trying to book time together almost has to be done a year in advance. I've had years like that myself and have really missed time with friends when life takes over. Usually half or more people respond in time. I've kept some of the questions to forward from people I really like, for as long as it takes me to find the time to get back to them - sometimes a month later even. Sometimes the answers are so surprising that it even becomes a time of great discovery about a relationship with someone. New social behaviour evolving as we watch maybe, or another annoyance to deal with but with a delete button attached. Take your pick.

It started to rain here around the dinner hour. I had just started sending out resumes again, after finally getting the computer road worthy for the first time in a day. I'm wondering if it was as enervated by the heat of the past week as I was and was just in revolt for being made to work. We'll see. I was listening to the news on television as I worked. They reported a tornado touching down in our sister city to the north. No further information. I've been corresponding with a high school buddy up there for about a month. I don't know which community she lives in - another person the 20 questions email goes to just to catch up - so of course one starts worrying about damages or injuries on a personal level. After all reconnecting with someone after a decades long absence is not something one wishes to lose too quickly. All at once the hair on the back of my neck stood on end, as an almighty crack erupted outside the window. The fire alarm went off and the power too - briefly. It had been so unexpected that I jumped out of my chair wondering where to flee. Cardio-pulmonary exercise of a sort alright. My youngest was outside walking home, so I was somewhat concerned about his safety as lightning pounded down around the community for what seemed like forever. He walked in just after that one really close call. Apparently there are flood warnings for almost all of Western Canada due to snow melt and rain. Our gully washer lasted until about midnight I think. I just opened all the doors and windows and let that beautiful cool, fresh air sweep through the house. Mmmmmmmmmm.

Dreams lately have been rather intense. One where I was working with a team of women. We were just finishing up on a major project and had become very close knit as a group as time passed. Just about the very end a new supervisor was helicoptered in to "help" us. Instead she "helped herself" by destroying our work. Her intention was to take as much credit for the completed project as she could. We were subjected to rants about our incompetence and hwo poorly done our efforts had been. I protested and brought out the written instructions that we had been following to the letter as we progressed. In fact the feedback we had had from our clients was that they were really pleased with the results. At that point she swelled up like that Red Quenn on Disney's Alice in Wonderland movie, pointed at me and shrieked "Off with her head". No trial no recourse i was fired right then and there as my erstwhile co-workers cowered behind the lunchroom door. Sigh. Next up was a vignette about the little girl from Britain that was kidnapped about a month ago. She was crying and calling for her mom, locked up in a structure with some other small children. The chicken coop the adults called it. It was disgustingly dirty. The person who had seized her at the beginning was really angry with her. They kept asking what about her was so different that whole countries were being inundated with press information and police hunts. They were grumbling to themselves that they would never kidnap to order again. All the brouhaha was cutting into their profits. I was so upset by the meanness that was coming from that person that I woke up and paced for quite a long time wishing there was something I could do for all the children they had stolen and put in harm's way.

Last was a dream where I had been tasked with the responsibility of setting up a conference for all the heads of major corporations located in this city. The job was to explain their responsibilities when operating in domestic and international venues. I had been able to book some of the most proactive and powerful Canadian speakers available. I was too busy dealing with all the logisitics of the event become intimidated, but there was so much ambient power in the room when the CEOs and such arrived, facing off with the international movers and shakers, that I was afraid to move. Broke the tension by handing out garbage cans to the audience. You see, there was a slide show set up to illustrate the speakers' points and it was expected that some viewers might find some of the photos overwhelming. First speaker was General Romeo Dallaire - of Rwanda experience. Next was the army specialist who was in charge of exhuming mass graves in Bosnia in order to provide evidence for those World Court trials. I could actually smell the decay as he spoke - I think I vomited too. Next up Louise Arbour from the UN Human Rights Commission, followed by Dave Kilgour and Stephen Lewis - all international specialists with varying areas of adminstration and responsibilities to and for Canadians. The surprise speaker at the end of the conference was Prince Harry. He had been sitting in a little anteroom behind the speaker's podium taking in all the other speeches. Guards at the doors at the back of the amphitheater had barred any of the audience from leaving until they had listened to what each speaker had to say. You see, they had been caught as a group doing some major harm in their day-to-day businesses internationally and this was their court ordered punishment. In my mind I was thinking they should have all been sent to the place where they had caused so much harm and forced to clean up all the damage they had done. That included apologising to each person hurt and making restitution as well. Anyway Prince Harry spoke of his mother's work with the anti-landmines movement and for displaced and disinherited children around the world. He was passionate about his plans to carry forward that work in his own way. Something that he said must have finally gotten through to all those people sitting there, because there was suddenly a deep sense of shame and remorse coming from the audience. Before his speech there had only been a smoldering resentment at having to spend their time listening to all those "left wingers". Whatever. Maybe it was only wishful dreaming, but for a few moments I wondered if the Mayan prophecy for 2012 could be the world ending as we know it and a more humane and enlightened world evolving instead. I've always been told that if one can dream it it can come into being. Much as the photos of death, destruction, maimed bodies and over-whelming carnage was difficult to bear, if I knew that change was possible I would try to dream it into existence as often as I could.

Time for more dream now I guess. Good night dear diary.

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