03:31 - 16.05.07
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I have been waking up feeling really happy the past few weeks. Almost joyful. There are even periods during my waking hours that the same feelings will creep up from behind and invade me too. I'm either going crazy, reaching enlightenment or shifting realities. Or maybe that is all one and the same. However, it beats waking up with the continuous feelings of dread that I've dealt with for the past decade, so I quite like it. Since all one can choose is their attitude I think I'll try sticking to this one for a while. I suspect it has something to do with the cats. Lately I'll often walk through a room and find at lest one feline in repose, laying on their back with all four paws in the air. Even the dignified Ms Kitty. Even odder is to find all of them napping together in the same position. Maybe they've found a secret stash of catnip or maybe there is a bliss energy they're tapping into that is leaking into our living space. Don't know. Today it even attracted an outside cat who looked very much like Ms Graycie - one of my favorites among the cats we had to give up during the last election. Still hurts to think about that. This young one came trotting out from the bushes when I stepped outside. They seemed determined to deliver a message to me - talking away in cat language. I felt comforted somehow for a while.
I imagine you've noticed that I've changed your look dear diary. I don't know where that impulse came from either but it seized me just as I was saving that last post in the wee hours of yesterday morning. It took until about 5 in the am before I was comfortable with the changes. Part of the reason it took so long was that I couldn't remember all the html I wanted to reinsert into the new template. I had to go searching within the diaryland website and elsewhwere before I found everything I wanted. The mind isn't all that efficient at that time in the morning either. But the effort was worth it, don't you think. There again I don't know why it seemed so important to do it right then - maybe it has something to do with the new moon coming up in a few hours. Maybe the change is a sense of something different in the patterns in my life that demand attenuation to the new vibrations. Who knows.
The upshot was that today wasn't particularly productive. I did my usual reading and cleaning - garbage pickup in a few hours don't you know. The first wasp of the season invaded the house and not even the most ferocious of our cats wanted to tangle with it. I had thought I had sealed all the doors and windows because the city workers were spraying the park across the street with pesticides, but apparently the beast had found one chink in the armour. I was surprised at how unafraid I was dealing with it given how sick that sting at the base of my skull made me last year. That wasp looked to be about 2 inches long and was climbing the kitchen curtains. I grabbed a dish towel and was able to wrap it around the insect. Opened the window and let it fly loose outside. It was the only being in the room that was calm throughout the process - the cats were all hiding, those cowards. Maybe it knew I meant it no harm - as long as it was outside. Later I walked to the grocery store, meeting my youngest there after work. He asked me if I was unusually tired just by how I looked. I had to think that one through and then realized I hadn't eaten yet today. Dealt with that once all our supplies were put away where the cats couldn't help themselves to any delicacies. They're still nibbling happily on those dandelions, so maybe the temptation wasn't as great either. At the grocery store I chatted briefly with one of the regulars on the early bus and then a woman newly arrived from one of the Asian countries asked for help. Problem was the question she asked could have several answers depending on additional information. She had no more English than the two words she spoke and I didn't have any of the words in her first language. Time for charades. I hope I got it right. She had probably been sent out by a male family member and they're not always that patient or kind with the women when they make mistakes. I hope I didn't cause her any trouble. The cashier looked askance at my bottle of bitters so we had a conversation about the Europeans' practice of adding herbal preparations to their meals. Gentian is supposed to be very good for upset digestive tracts, you see.
But I think I'll crawl back to bed now - waking up happy is fun even when it makes no sense at all within the physical reality that I live with. Hmmmmmmm. Good night dear diary.
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