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02:11 - 11.05.07 Usually my television is only on for the news of the day. Last night I had extended conversations on the phone with my Dad and one of my sisters so I forgot to turn it off. The upshot was that I was transfixed when I saw Barry Gibb singing live on American Idol. Some people just get better with time don't they. His voice may not be as powerful as it once was, but he was singing "Words" from the heart and it showed. Hmmmmmmmm. The upshot with the conversation with my sister was that my brother-in-law arrived at my home this morning just after my youngest had left for work. I had been explaining some of the problems I was having maintaining the structure of my home and the role that the neighbours had played in the issue. He wanted to assess the damage and the amount of work and materials needed to get everything back up to scratch. I don't think that what I have been describing to the family over the past few years really registered before. Two jobs and six sons to raise over a decade by myself doesn't leave any time, energy or money for the poor homestead. He was very eager to get the entire place done within a very short period of time - bringing in a team of family and friends - and I appreciate his kindness, but I don't have a job and I don't have the money to pay for all the things he was listing off. Besides that the amount of time and physical energy required to prepare for all those repairs that I would have to expend is something that I need to have some control over. Right now just lifting and shifting the buckets of water I'm using to wash down the floors and windows is causing me a lot of back pain. I can only work for a couple of hours at a time and then I need an additional day to recuperate. I have no problem with that, because over time I will build up both muscle strength and endurance too. Weight lifting 101, you see. However,I don't want to get as sick as I was again so I have to set the pace. I also have to take care that the dust stirred up doesn't overwhelm my lungs either. truth is is that my primaary goal has to be getting a new job and I need to look both healthy and rested when I go to interviews to even have a chance of being hired - don't I? Besides the cats are finding the constant changes a little unsettling and they don't have the capacity to understand my explanations of same. Besides it is the nasty neighbours I want to throw off balance. I explained to my brother-in-law what a profound effect just rebuilding the fence had on reducing their verbal assualts on me and their physical assaults on the property. If i can get a new storm door and repair all the damage from their vandalism outside then I think my sense of safety will increase. The stress of continually being afraid of their actions has been a major contributor to my illness I think and it's time to turn the tables a bit. He said he would get back to me in a day or two with a proposed plan and I'm hoping it will be something that we will both be happy working out together along with my sons.
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