01:50 - 08.05.07
Cages
There seems to be an echo arising from events that occurred in all aspects of my life in late January and early February at this point in time. Same players (hate the game not the players), similar circumstances - my youngest is planning another trip by air triggering another intense discussion although through a misunderstanding rather than the plans this time, and what appears to be a lot of illusions - smoke and mirrors - making it difficult to know which way to jump. Not another birthday though - thank goodness for small blessings. It is as if as though what was unfinished or which began at that point then is coming up for completion now. As long as another violent death ("Mars is bright tonight" - the centaur Firenze in "Order of the Phoenix") or ending isn't part of the package, I guess I should be grateful that I can finish up those loose ends now. There was even a full week or two of nightmares full of conflict that seem to be repeating themselves now - you may have noticed I've slept very little the past couple of weeks. Afraid to put my head down I am. One reason might be the astrological square between the Sun and Saturn, but now Saturn is now in direct motion. That is exact early tomorrow. There is also a Jupiter/Uranus conflict due on Thursday. And then there's Mercury. Bleagh.
The female cats have been acting oddly too. Ms Snowy can be described as regal or queenly, but always gracious to those of us who serve her. She is usually quite distant in her relations with both humans and her feline companions. The past couple of days she has been coming up to me and wrapping herself around my shoulder - like a hug - and rubbing her face against mine. She just seemed to know I wanted comforting I guess. You see I have been quite downhearted because of the work issue, but I'm not all that expressive about it either. As I've noted before I usually will find something physical to do to wear off the adrenaline or other hormones pouring into my system when I feel stress.
Yesterday it was Ms Kitty's turn to do the same thing. She is a lot more personable - can one say that about a cat? - but normally she is sparing in gestures of affection too. It is Ms Kitty's fourth birthday this month. This is always the time of year she finds a way to escape from the house to have a little celebratory fling of her own - that freedom thang. Yesterday I caught on to her message quickly and sealed off all the exits. She was quite huffed. Today I wasn't quite as quick on the uptake and she exploited that inattetion to full advantage. I had the windows open a lot wider than usual as I continued washing floors and walls. She literally ripped open one of the screens sometime this evening, while I was using youtube music therapy to deal with that intense discussion between me and my youngest. We are both usually such calm people that it takes a lot more energy for me to process a set-to with him than it would with most other people. Just hurt feelings is all. I think Ms Kitty must have escaped when I was engrossed in a sequence of clips - first Elvis dancing on the Milton Berle show that I had never seen before followed by a Michael Jackson dance clip where it almost looked as though he was channeling Elvis from the earlier clip. Just very spooky - at least from my perspective. At some point later - while I was watching my favorite version of Mr Bojangles - I heard growling and yowling just outside the window. Cats about to scrap over territory. Something made me decide to go check that window screen at that point. Last time Ms Kitty escaped two males had held her hostage for a couple of days and she finally arrived home deeply distressed. The sound of the howling was those two males again. Maybe that triggered my subconscious response. I stepped out onto the balcony calling Ms Kitty softly. She came pelting out from under the deck full speed. She must have taken refuge there while the two males were trying to determine dominance over her fine self, I guess. Normally when she escapes she runs when we try to catch her and it is normally a couple of days before she returns. Today it wasn't likely more than an hour of freedom before she had enough. Little bits of personal drama all over the place. I'll be glad when those astrological aspects sort themselves out. Echoes of those are forecast to continue to occur for the next year or so, but as Ms Scarlett said "I'll think about that in the morning". Good night dear diary.
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