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03:25 - 20.04.07
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My body insisted in getting out of bed at 5 in the am today. It wanted cucumbers - now! In this part of the world fresh cucumber is way too expensive to buy for a good part of the year. I bought my first one of the season on the last grocery trip. Apparently the body noticed and was tired of waiting for it's treat. Since it saw me through close to a cumulative total of 100 hours of labour and delivery, among other physical feats, I feel it is occasionally entitled to be a bit demanding. Cucumbers it was. Truth is I was haivng difficulty sleeping anyway. The cats weren't in to sharing my bed with me, because that lovely rain we had experienced the day before had turned to wet heavy snow. It had become chilly in the house. The felines wanted the warmth and cosiness of snuggling together on top of my comforter. No room at the Inn - at least not for me. There was a very odd sound coming from the living room so I went to investigate. Ice crystals the size of those prisms one sees on old fashioned lamps were falling from the roof and tree branches then being blown in toward the windows in the living room. I can't recall hearing quite such a sharp sound in this house before. I was afraid that the windows might crack - although that would take some doing - or that the powerlines might become so overloaded with ice that we would lose power. I might never get my bed back in that case. That sound lasted for about three or four hours and it was a bit unnerving for certain.

I have also been experiencing a strange phenomenon that has been occurring for about the last month. Awake and asleep - that first layer of drowsiness - images of faces of people I seem to know. Sometimes from the past, but also ones to come I think. They flash by so quickly that, although the recognition of the person is acknowledged somewhere in the brain, I can't ever seem to remember their names or what they should mean to me. Sometimes I know I knew them at school or during my volunteer days, but that is all. Sometimes those flashes are very short in duration, yet sometimes they last for what seems like quite a while. I don't understand the reason fopr it, so that was unnerving me when I was trying to sleep last night too. Hmmm.

Once I got my youngest off to work I read email, then assembled the paperwork I had dug out of my records drawer the night before. Did up my son's taxes on-line then sent the results to his wife for processing and submission. One has to sign everything nice and legal, you know. We had a quick email exchange about recipes - I had really liked the dish they brought for dinner last weekend. She promised to send that recipe on to me once she had their taxes under control. Deadline for that is April 30th - no reprieve because of the crashed tax software or those blackberry things.

Next up was the e-letter to the woman who had messed up my Record of Employment from Elections Canada. I tried very hard to be mindful of the lessons offered me the day before, when I had read all those thoughtful treatises on the implications of this year's astrological Saturn direct and how best to navigate the challenges. Set firm clear boundaries, don't accept abusive behaviour, but still act with loving kindness and compassion, giving one's fellow beings the benefit of the doubt. Tall order given how much harm this person has inflicted on me the past few years - with a lot of help from her supervisors, of course. Some people don't have the inner strength to say no to bad bosses, but they need to be shown what cumulative harm that does to others. It is not a victimless assault by any means. As a result, the letter I wrote described the impact her improperly done paperwork had on me from one year ago. That was when she had sent material to Revenue Canada using my name when it was for someone else - at leat I think so - and how it had damaged me when I was so very ill at the time emotionally and financially. I spoke with more brevity about this year's additional problems. The choice is now hers which way she wants to proceed on her path of service.

I also solved the riddle of my lost home insurance policy. The new insurer had sent it to me using my married name. I haven't used that name since my formal divorce decree in 1999. Any mail coming to me with that name now gets thrown away unopened on the assumption that it was culled from some old list sold to a marketing firm. I found the second mailing after the agent I spoke with mentioned the new company supplying the coverage. Oh yes - I recalled seeing those envelopes and tearing up the first ones. See why loving kindness is important, as well as giving people the benefit of the doubt. Here I had been blaming my neighbours when it was all my fault right from the get go. Pay that bill tomorrow. The balance of the day was spent cooking - fresh, homemade chicken soup and beef stew - and counting my blessings. I'm still finding it stressful to not have a job, simply because there is no cash flow and reserves are dropping so low - thanks to those problems with the Elections Canada finance people's choices. Quite honestly I could happily putz about the house making up for ten years of missed maintenance, repairs and cleaning that was neglected to accommodate the demands of two jobs and parenting my sons into the bargain, if that wasn't the case. Saturn is in some ways forcing me to put the house back the way I found it during the last time it was travelling through the Leo part of the sky. The year we bought this house as a new family and moved into a new community and a very new type of living one's life. A very accurate local psychic whom I had visited with my Mom - her name was Sheila and I coveted her black velvet drapes - had predicted the changes in my life would be like bolts out of the blue in that period. And they were. Wonder if that is going to be duplicated on the next turn of the spiral of time, this coming year. Guess I'll just have to watch it all unfold, won't I dear diary. Good Night.

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