01:43 - 07.02.07
En-lightening
The commutes to my son's home the past couple of days have been pleasant. The same old routine but now one sees daylight both before and after work. 9.5 hours of sunshine, that is. Every year the psychological boost that commuters get around this fact raises spirits considerably. It's nice to see faces again when one walks down the street. The other reason is that I've started reading while in motion. I used to devour books at one time on the train and maybe it's time to start that habit again. The one I have now is a history f the development of anti-gravity technology. That cloaking device that was likened to Harry Potter's invisibility cloak borrows from that - or it could. Interesting.
My grand-daughter has been unusually cranky and restless. Her little lungs are dealing with the same virus as the adults in her life. Yesterday she was so irritable that I finally just put her to bed. It seemed to me when I arrived at the house that she wanted to go back to bed immediately, but I tried not to give in because she has to learn to be on someone else's schedule by the end of the month when daycare starts. Looking at her now it is easy to see why children are chronically sick at such venues. First is the degree of exposure they have to the community's germs but also is the fact that their own natural body rhythms and therefore their own natural defences/immune responses are not respected or allowed. Worry. She was a little better this morning and both afternoons have been fine for being happy and playful though. She has had longer naps and that has suited grandma fine since I have had almost no sleep the last few days. At least I can catch a couple of hours while she sleeps.
One of the other co-workers of the woman whose son was murdered called me Monday to see if we could go together to offer some comfort to that Mom. The more that comes out about her son's actual activities, the more devastated she must be. It is obvious he was deeply into the crime scene from the last few facts released. It is also obvious from comments made to reporters that a lot of the families they knew were afraid to have contact with them for fear of their own children's welfare and rightfully so I'm afraid. I suspect that isolation will be an even greater factor in the surviving family members lives now, with the police indicating that there is still a lot of potential danger of similar incidents occurring. It was also apparent from the comments of the coworker that called that she had a lot more knowledge of what was going on than I did. I had always accepted the Mom's version that her son was hot tempered and impulsive and that his mouth just tended to get him in trouble. That's bad enough to have to admit, but there is a lot more involved than that here. More like a recruiter or enforcer for the much older leaders of the gang. That said, we both still feel very badly for the family left. The co-worker suggested that since they were Catholic that maybe having a Mass in his honour read out would something that would help the family - especially the remaining young children - emotionally and psychologically. I don't really know if the choice is appropriate or not, not being Catholic myself, and being ignorant of the nuances of that faith system. The other co-worker is though and she said it is what she often does for others in her faith. I hope I don't give offense to the Mom but what else is there to offer other than one's own personal time to be available to help out, which I've already done. Given that the boy was shot in their home, they will likely have to move too. Way too much conflicting emotion and thoughts to work through even for me, someone who is not directly impacted by the death. Anger, confusion, a sense of betrayal, and sorrow all. Long discussions with my sons since the murder demonstrate now that they've fully understood why I taught and disciplined them as I did. I wasn't being mean or over-protective; I was only trying to ensure that they never fell into the many traps the gangs lay out for the unwary and the vulnerable among our children.
Anway I think I need to go meditate some more. My head hurts. Good night dear diary.
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