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00:14 - 02.01.07
Neptunian
I'm still confused. I've had a number of phone calls or other communications with various people from Elections Canada and the federal government - none of them solicited. The reason for that is that it is too easy to let speculation and rumour run away with your mind. I didn't want to brush off the care and concern that was being expressed for my well being, but I actually felt worse because I started to question everything about the work I've done over the past decade.

I spent yesterday and today going through hundreds of election emails dating back to 2002 - everything before that has been wiped out of our accounts - trying to see where things went amiss. Or did they? Up until mid-2005 there was no problems other than the usual complaints. That is when the tone of the local rep became more negative. No reason given, although I found some documentation where her supervisor had called all of the local Returning Officers because there had been so many complaints about the local rep's actions and attitude. I recorded my conversation with her boss, but I don't know what was said by others. One of the callers this weekend noted that it was believed in head office that the local rep had been using other people's work and representing it as her own. They inferred that included mine. That would explain a lot of the requests for additional reports/information and the damage to what she represented as being my work to Ottawa. She couldn't steal other people's work if she was submitting identical material from us could she. Hearsay, but it makes one paranoid in the extreme. How does one know what she has attributed to us in spoken or emailed communications. Given that we've all seen doctored emails from head office from her or "orders" that turned out not to exist at all, how can we know what impression she has chosen to make about us to someone thousands of miles away.

Dug through some of the paperwork too, but that is literally boxloads of data. The difference is that there can have been no manipulation of a communication because it is in physical form and has not been tampered with as so many of our memos have been. Many of us have taken to printing out every communication we receive from head office and the local rep because the text sometimes mysteriously changes as do dates and hours when information was sent - backdated, for example. The only way to catch some of the people in lies is to send them the original as well as the doctored form. It is even more difficult when whole databases are wiped clean of the communications between ourselves and head office during an event. Last election before this one we were told our evaluations were based on a database that was expunged at the end of the event. The evaluations were made several months later. Head office said none of the information encoded in that database could be retrieved, so how then were the assessments made? It's hard enough when none of the people involved have ever set foot in one's office, but to also not refer to hard copy data of our discussions means that those evaluations are meaningless. I know a very large number of Returning Officers won't communicate with head office at all because they are convinced every communication is deemed a black mark against the caller. I had always assumed that the staff there were more reasonable than that but I guess I was wrong, eh?

Today was spring-like in the city. I went out walking around the supper hour and ended up at the one general store nearby. I needed milk and dish soap and wasn't averse to checking to see if there were any bargains left. Met one of the women who adopted a kitten from us just over a year ago. I was surprised that she still recognized me. She asked if we had any more kittens to give away because her daughters were so happy with the one they had they wanted more. No. Were we planning to have any more of our females bred. No. How many do you still have. Five all fixed, tattooed and licenced. Do they go outside? No. Felt like an interrogation but is was likely because she seemed to want to share their pleasure with that one kitten with me. I am glad that that baby has become an integral part of the family. I miss our cat family - except for litter box themes.

Time for bed now maybe my head will be clear by tomorrow. Good night dear diary.

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