06:58 - 09.12.06
Aum
A huge fire in our area of town meant that rush hour traffic was further complicated by the closure of several major roads on Thursday morning. There are always some hot spots that need to be avoided, but this one lasted nearly the entire work day. In the end an entire strip mall of industrial businesses was destroyed.
That is another reason I like taking transit. Those road closures rarely affect the main part of my travel. Where there might be an issue, I always have alternate bus routes in mind that take different approaches to reach my planned destination. I met the one young woman I used to spend time chatting with when I worked downtown regularly at my bus stop on Thursday morning. I haven't seen her in nearly a year. Her big news was that she is 4 months pregnant. Her last visit with me, she had talked about wedding plans, but they now have to be deferred since they coincided almost exactly with her due date. She said she has had morning sickness from the day she conceived to the present. Weight loss is her major challenge. Even before she conceived she was slender to thin, anyway. I told her about what I had been given when I had been seriously ill and losing weight too rapidly. Also suggested that since she couldn't keep her supplements down, she might want to add baby formula to what she could stomach, since it has a good balance of all the nutrients the baby needs. She now catches another bus instead of the train to get to work, so we parted company there. The connections from the train to my son's home were really efficient again, even though I took another alternate route I hadn't tried yet. Arrived at my son's home about 10 minutes earlier than the other route. That bus was slightly fuller with people who were much sicker - all coughing and fevered looking. I wear gloves to protect my hands from the worst of the contaminated surfaces, but made certain that I washed my hands again at their home before taking my grand-daughter in my arms. No point passing around germs. Habit I picked up while working downtown, you see. First stop was always the washroom for soap up and rinse.
My grand-daughter's sleep schedule was different, but that is the norm at her age. Just worked around it as best I could. There have been a lot of phone calls where the person hangs up as soon as the phone is answered. My daughter-in-law had mentioned it before, but this day there were about 4 in a row. Bothersome, since a little Miss with her bare bottom can make a big mess by the time I return from trying to answer those calls. Finally decided to ignore them. Only my family have that contact number, so the chances that it is something I need to answer is minimal anyway. They all work during the day, you see. My son was taking Friday off so both he and I could get to doctor appointments, so dinner was a quality time affair until next week. I had had a lot of energy in the morning and almost felt normal, but by afternoon exhaustion took over again and i was very ready to go home.
I think a lot of it has to do with the local rep from Elections Canada. The last email I sent was copied to the head of the pre-writ team asking why it was that it had taken nearly three months to get back to me about a problem with a "blank" spreadsheet, when part of her responsibility is ensure the work is complete, and to also ask why I had received confirmation both from her and head office staff that they had received that material and accepted it at the end of September. Where had the data disappeared to in the interim. She had sent back a rather garbled response very late Wednesday saying that there had been a miscommunication and that it was actually the responsibility of the head office staff to critique or ask for additional work from me - not her. I knew that, but couldn't refuse to co-operate with her demands because otherwise she has then refused to forward the work I've submitted. Given the emails last week, it also appears that either she or someone else in the chain may be altering the material I send without my consent or knowledge. That means I could be hamstrung at the beginning of the next election, if the work isn't incorporated into planning work now or is wrong or misleading. I am so frustrated I don't even know how to approach it other than by cc'ing head offices' co-ordinator. I emailed her back asking for an update as to any other changes or problems she has not reported to me yet. Her silence is deafening. What concerns me most is that she is withholding the work that needs to be submitted so that the outreach workers can be paid. It is obvious that she isn't supposed to do that, but it has now been over a month that I have been trying to get past her so that the task owner can see the material. I'm not supposed to send it to them directly, but I don't see any other option at this point. Any suggestions to deal with this mess dear diary.
Today - Friday - held an interesting synchronicity. I had called my family doctor's office last week to try and book an appointment with him, as directed by the emergency room staff on that previous Thursday morning. Even after explaining about the ruptured blood vessel, the blood loss, the elevated blood pressure and the elevated white blood cell count, the receptionist's only response was that there were no appointments available for at least two weeks. Good thing the packing came out on it's own or that would have become another source of infection over the wait time too. She said I could come in and sit in the waiting room, so that if a cancellation happened I would be able to see him. Sure that makes sense. My immune system is somewhat compromised and I am quite wobbly still, so sitting in a tiny office filled with sick people for maybe most of the day is going to make me sicker isn't it? I decided that I really needed to see my chiropractor more anyway and booked time with him instead. In contrast, the receptionist at the chiropractor's office, even when I called the day before, stated that I was welcome to come by the next morning and that they would fit me in. As a result, I had set my mind on a time when I should catch the feeder bus in order to be on time for said appointment this morning. As I was getting dressed, a little voice in the back of my head kept urging me to hurry and catch the bus one before the leaving time I had set. I wondered if my intuition was picking up a travel delay because of another fire or something. Decided that my intuition had been spot on for most of the past few months and therefore I should catch that earlier bus.
As I was sitting down on an empty bench on that earlier bus, the seat next to me was suddenly filled with an unexpected friend. The one who had ended up paralyzed exactly a year ago, when she was on her way to a family funeral. Although we had talked and emailed often, and tried several times to get together for coffee in the physical, nothing had ever worked out. Then, just by following that intuition this morning here we were able to visit each other for the duration of the trip downtown. As it worked out, because I had chosen the earlier bus, it also meant we had about 20 minutes to share over coffee when we arrived downtown too. We shared the details of our illnesses and exchanged a lot of information about family affairs too. It was really a positive and needed break from focusing on things I can't change, to giving and receiving a sense of moving on and moving forward from, what was for both of us, a very challenging year. She said that the doctors had determined that the source of her paralysis was a bout of shingles she had had just prior to her collapse. The toxins had erupted on her neck and migrated into her spinal fluid. I had had a bout of that in October this year and was feeling a lot less sorry for myself when I realized how easily I had gotten off. Just a really itchy rash for about a week was all I had to deal with. I guess it's all relative. We both discussed how frustrated we were with being unable to work enough to support ourselves and the impact of the negative feedback from family and friends at a time when what we both needed was reassurance and emotional support - maybe even a little physical assistance with tasks we aren't able to do on our own. I know more whine with cheese.
I think it always helps to talk with someone that is experiencing the same thing as yourself, when both of you are trying your best to cope. Gives one a feeling that they are less isolated and also that they are understood by someone who has been there. I think the difference is in the feedback from someone who shares your experiences. For example, when I was recounting stories to my son about when he and his brothers were small, after he had been complaining about some of the stress he felt with having a new baby to care for, his comment was "are you looking for sympathy?" My response was "no, I'm looking for respect for what I acheived under the circumstances we had to cope with". He laughed at that and then the stories went on. I think maybe he wondered if I was trying to make him feel guilty for his behaviour when he was small. I explained that I thought he was delightfully mischievious and creative and that I loved him for that. The point of my stories was to normalize my grand-daughter's behaviour - and she is a very normal, bright child - for him and to help him realize that he wasn't being a bad or incompetent parent. On the contrary, as a matter of fact. He needs to quit reading all those books by so-called experts on child rearing. Most of them have never even worked with children outside of lab or other stringently controlled conditions. Means a lot of their perspectives and pronouncements are suspect at best.
Anyway, I left to see my chiropractor after our coffee together while my friend continued on her journey to the south part of the city, feeling much better psychologically. The receptionist at my chiropractor's office greeted me with enthusiasm and sent me right in to a room. My chriopractor and I chatted about all the weird medical things that had happened to me last month - the shingles, a boil on one of my fingers and the burst blood vessel. We then segued into things electoral. He was quite understanding about my frustration with the process, although to most people, I think it would just seem to be a minor issue. His parting comment was that I really should try to come in more often for treatment. I hadn't realized how messed up I was until I stepped back outside his office though. Light headed and nauseous I was. My sense of balance was compromised too as the body tried to readjust to a normal alignment of my spine. I had meant to stop for groceries on my way home and decided to continue on with that plan despite how I felt. After all, my oldest and youngest sons have birthdays to celebrate this week upcoming. Feasting the birthday child - no matter their age - is an important rite in the year. Five hours after leaving home, I was walking back in the door. My youngest was waiting to help carry in and unpack the goodies and then I crawled into bed for most of the rest of the day. My body said it would get me if I didn't and I believe it means what it says. Today I'll try tackling that work related issue again. At least I can try to work around the local rep so that I can get my workers paid up despite her efforts to block that by not submitting their work as is required. Ommmm mane padme hum. Num yo ho reng ge kyo.
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