00:47 - 25.08.06
Healing
One of the other Returning Officers in this city called me a while back asking for a face-to-face meeting. It made me a bit uncomfortable, because she first referenced her high-placed connections and then stated she wanted to discuss tactics to better deal with the local rep. I focus on my job and the tasks that I am required to achieve in the course of an event. Ditto for my other contracts. I don't have a standard "strategy" for dealing with any personality type other than trying to use good manners, respect for their task/responsibilities and logic. When none of those work, then I aim for coping or avoidance strategies. Anything else is wasting my time, as far as I'm concerned. I don't choose to play head games. When someone wants to discuss work in those terms, I become really wary of that person because, if that's how they think and engage others in their regular behaviour patterns, then one can be assured that one will be treated with the same disrespect.
That being said, she also wanted insight to some of the tasks we've been assigned now and she wanted to discuss the implications of those two memos we've received in the past couple of weeks. Trying to read the smoke signals - smoke and mirrors - that are being sent out from the political and bureaucratic realms. She offered to treat for lunch for the opportunity to pick my brains - such as they are. The area she chose in which to meet is one I enjoy being in just for the ambience. Decided to risk the game playing by focusing on the other part of the request. We met at the train stop in her community, then headed out to a local Greek restaurant. Excellent food and atmosphere. Discussion over lunch was how to deal with all the barriers to our work that are thrown at us by head office during an event. She felt she was being singled out for some of the punishment and I think she was relieved to find instead that it wasn't "personal". I know you've already got all those frustrations recorded in your electrons, dear diary, so I won't enumerate them right now. We talked over the sound of taverna music and the occasional smashing of plates. Opa! The staff at the restaurant were very attentive, but non-intrusive, so it was a very pleasant meal all told. Next up she asked if I wanted to window shop. Yes, of course. The area has some great second hand book and curio stores, as well as those trendy little niche stores that have all sorts of treasures in them. It is sort of an artists' enclave. Talked for another hour and a half as we walked. It was apparent early into the walking though, that she was playing her "game" as she called - "I'm a player don't you know?". Whatever. I just answered what I wanted, because I don't really know who it was she was trying to dig for answers for. That secondary purpose was obvious right from the get go. At this point, I have so little respect left for most of the chain of command, that I don't really care what they think about me nor what they feel they can profit from by taking my responses and building them into their games. Dangerous attitude of course, but I've had enough of the foolishness.
When she was shopping in the stores, it was as though she was trying to get a sense of my tastes and interests, but not for her own purposes. It was also obvious that she was used to having a lot of money, so I don't think she understood my responses. It seemed as though for herself, she really was more curious about if our tastes matched. Not even close. She kept urging me to buy things which I expressed an interest in, but the prices were way beyond what I could afford. I don't think she understands at all about not having any income, even when I explained about the long absence of a regular paycheque because of the illness I dealt with after this past election. She also seemed to be trying to find out about my financial status in a way that made me uncomfortable - did I have savings? Of course not. How could I save money while raising six sons on my own, or when I have had serial illnesses for the past couple of years. Besides that I really am not interested in acquiring knick knacks as it were. Remember I 'm trying to minimize the stuff in my life, not the other way around. That said, I did see some original paintings I really liked, but I think things like that should be on the walls of public galleries, museums and buildings where everyone can enjoy them. I was really enjoying the window shopping, but I was also very glad when that part of our visit was over. Too much prying for my peace of mind. Maybe I'm just over-reacting, but I've learned that most "interview" style discussions are rarely for the benefit of the one being interviewed. Me in this case. Wonder who it is she is reporting back to and why?
Arrived home just in time to pick up a call from my youngest. He had taken time off his work day to go re-enroll in his high school classes. You might have noticed that he hasn't been working on any courses since last summer. It was hard to back off and let him learn from his own bad choices, but I guess figuring out within four months of working in the "real world" that he really wants more and better education is a good thing. Quicker on the uptake than most people, he is. From comments and references he's made, I suspect his main supervisor at work has had a hand in getting him thinking about what he really wants from life. Some of his other co-workers have had very "colourful" life experiences as well and I think that my youngest has learned a great deal just by listening. School of hard knocks times five or six adult males' stories of their lives. I actually think it would make for a good tv series, since they all seem to have done terms as things like mercenaries. Certain little details that I know from Amnesty International work being discussed. Guys that are just blowing smoke about being "men of action" wouldn't include that types of information, if you get my drift. The men he works with come from all over the globe and have all worked in the rough side of the industry that I generally work in. Field guys you see. Hmmm.
In my newsletters, I thought the profile about this filmographer was really interesting. Social commentary, history 101 and creative art all rolled into one. Passion for the subject don't you see. This story about bottled oxygen in consumer size intrigued me, because I think it might help me as much as an inhaler when asthma attacks occur without any of the side effects. I think that the canisters they've created for their product need to be made less, umm, conspicuous though. There would have to be strong regulatory involvement in the quality of the product, so that the medical benefit cold be realized. This story about a Canadian court case involving the right to tell the truth was pretty scary. Basically it would be enough to get one thrown in jail for saying anything that didn't toe the government of the day's line of propaganda. I'm thinking of all the scientists who would be shut down as a result, like that one Environment Canada official who was told he couldn't be associated with his own book launch, even though the story was fiction based in his own knowledge of the field in which he specializes.
What next? Burning books instead of the Burning Man Festival. By order of the Prime Minister/Premiers of course. Fits in very nicely with current federal and provincial government policies for dealing with the most vulnerable segments of our society. That's right, turn them into universal scapegoats based on stereotyping and downright lies. Make it a criminal offence to be disabled, sick or poor.
One of the reasons I like the theory of reincarnation so much is that one literally receives back what they've put out - especially with malice or love aforethought - in threefold measure. For some of the policy creators now, I think that means several lifetimes of being that child whose life and potential they destroyed at the bottom of the food chain in some really desperate situations. At least until the understanding of what the phrase "we are one" really means anyway. Think about choosing that as one's future reward. I liked this article about the body's need for water. I've always preferred mine boiled with a tea bag in it, thank you very much. One's body will provide one with the correct choices if one can hear that still small voice whispering while all that shouting from experts and vested interests tries to tell you you don't know what is best for yourself. Maybe the ego doesn't, but the body is a fairly flawless reference source. The physical source of one's life as a matter of fact.
The other essential source for one's wellness, both physically and psychologically, is sleep of course. Time to go take my medicine. Good night.
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