23:30 - 15.07.06
nine tenths of the law
I can feel my throat chakra opening up. It was shut down rather violently about fifteen years ago. About five years into the issue I went to see a healer who used a number of time tested techniques - buddhist. He helped me so I wasn't choked up or out completely, but the work since then to re-establish a free flowing energy has been considerable. Kokopelli notwithstanding. That was also about the time I began learning about chi gong. Between the three healers involved in that work, there was a lot of support. I found if I could sit quietly and tune in to their lessons I could rebuild some energy. The problem, of course, was that it coincided with the boys' dad leaving. The day to day struggle to maintain one or two jobs and look after six young sons who were hurting a lot and also to try to do mundane things like house and yard work. Pretty sad when the last two are only found to be possible as a treat, eh? More often than not I had to let those slide just to be able to meet the daily demands of the others. Quite often during my volunteer and "working out of the home" years I would have so little rest time that the inside of my bones hurt. They also felt like they were made of glass shards that had been flash frozen. The only way I could keep going some days was to stand in a hot shower for long stretches so that I could warm up. Once that was achieved the pain would subside.
At those times I would promise my body that there would be a time when it could have as much sleep as it wanted if only it would help me get through the next day or week or whatever. Hmmmmmmmmmm. I think the body must have a very good memory and has decided that it wants that promise kept now. Today was one of those days where sleeping seemed to be all that was acceptable to it. That has been occurring off and on all through this period since I became sick at the end of February. Could be the heat too, but the need to sleep was overpowering, even though I can't complain about being sleep deprived any more in the short term. I guess turnabout is fairplay and I should keep my promises especially to myself. Builds trust you know. The quality of the sleep isn't being lost either - it is deep and refreshing. It is just the amount that is a bit odd. Most people in my age bracket complain about insomnia and I really don't know how to respond to them. Right now it seems that my hormone balance is shifting again and it's almost like puberty again. Zits and cramps - bleagh. Now if only I could get that figure back. How about it Friend Body? The best part of that video is when the females give the male singer permission to look at "whatever" while they are doing their own thing. I recall in one major volunteer project committee meeting one male suggesting that I use my "" to get what the committee was requesting, since we hadn't been able to achieve it any other way to that point. I thought the male lawyer sitting next to me was going to - well never mind. The slime ball slunk out of that meeting and only showed up once more to claim credit in a public meeting for the work that the rest of the mostly female committee had done when we finally succeeded. One uses whatever gifts the good lord gave one on the assumption that that is the reason one has them, right? I am very grateful for the brain with which the almighty gifted me, although I think a lot of other people might question it. Their problem.
Anyway time to see if my youngest has woken up yet. You see dear diary, he has a more conventional reason for being tired today. He umm staggered in about 2 in the am after walking home with one of his buddies from the train station - no bus service you see. They had been at the Stampede again trying to win carnival prizes. He won a rather large stuffed St Bernard toy complete with that little barrel around it's neck at the skeeball booth. I'm certain it was the exercise that wore him out - right? The cats were quite indignant. How dare he bring a d-o-g - even stuffed - into their territory. Reconciliation didn't take long though. Mr Melchizedek even went so far as to grab one of my youngest's sneakers - phew - and proceeded to curl around it then fell asleep. Some of the other cats thought maybe they should be the guardians of that particular sole of my son. However Mr Mel made it very clear that sleeping or not the first cat that put a paw on his prize would pay dearly for their temerity. Talk to you later.
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