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23:37 - 13.06.06
Foot in Mouth disease and other viral stories
My computer was virused by that yahoo thang yesterday morning. I didn't get everything back up and fixed until this afternoon and then I went for groceries and mowed the lawn. Sometimes physical needs need to be addressed first don't they dear diary.

Even though I wrote a long post yesterday there was no way to upload it to you, dear diary, since the internet connection was compromised. Given that I started out with the comment I had foot in mouth disease all day, maybe it was the way I was protected from continuing along those lines in my comments to you. I've cut and pasted it for your entertainment but edited it as well. You see some of the comments were about behaviour in the family which I think is very mean. My Dad has a new partner, but not all my sibs are willing to accept that even though my Mom has been dead for eight years now. He needs to be allowed to live as much as anyone else. Our societies don't burn our family members when we die anymore but demanding they withdraw from all life after the fact is probably a crueller punishment than even that. I took out some of the details of the nasty behaviour though because that is family business and needs to be attended to privately. The rest of the story is intact.

I woke up with my foot in my mouth. Tried extracting it all day with little success. Sigh.

First up was the virus - as in e-mail. That yahoo thang you know. Apparently some hacker decide that sending out salacious emails unders some poor schmoo's name - like mine - would be amusing. The vehicle for their prank was a security breach in yahoo's email and groups portals. The free trader group that I just joined among them. I always check my email first thing in the morning in case something arises where my plans for the day need to be reworked. Better right at the beginning than mid-way. One of the notices from the free trader groups was puzzling - especially to someone like me who hasn't had any caffeine, coffee, yet. Was someone actually soliciting me to ........? Oh my goodness. I forwarded that little missive to the owner of our bulletin board, just commenting that I did not want to find such things in my mailbox. She responded right away apologizing and letting me know she had reported it to the big kahunas. Hmmm.

While I was stewing about that bit of unsolicited sewage, my telephone rang. It was one of the partners from the agency I had worked through, returning my call from first thing this morning. The job she had in mind for me wasn't posted on their website. It was a straight "recruiter decision only" opportunity. She described the duties to me and waited for my response. It sounded like one of those dream "too good to be true" thangs. Instead of responding clearly and decisively, I sputtered and stuttered quite a bit. Not used to good fortune dumping gifts like that into my lap. I started second guessing the caller too, which is always a very bad move when interviewing. Question the recruiter's judgement that you are qualified? How dumb is that? Most times you see, with a posting like this, a load of paperwork and initials after one's name are usually demanded. I have the experience/expertise but not that paperwork. I said I would enjoy a challenge like the one being offered, but didn't they want a degree of some sort? No just the ability to do the job. That's just too easy. There's got to be a catch somewhere methinks. Methinks can speculate all she wants, but she should never voice those questions aloud. See dear diary. Foot number two in the mouth now. She asked for an updated resume sent as she waited on the phone, but I couldn't find her email address in my address book. I know it's there but the wrong-footedness I felt from my prior performance caused me to panic and likely stare straight at the information without seeing it. She sent me a blank email out of her address book so I could respond right away.

As I was trying to find her address, I could hear knocking on my front door. I knew it was likely my Dad, because we had scheduled to go out this morning. I didn't want to mess up any worse with the agency partner, so I finished off our conversation while attaching my resume to her blank email and returning it. She had made it clear she wanted it immediately and I certainly wanted to oblige her. Finally got that done and signed off. Raced to the front door, opened it and saw my Dad and his next door neighbour unloading a lawn mower out of the back of her pick-up truck. When she handed it to me she told me she had just bought a new one and this one was mine to keep. Speechless I was, and very grateful. I thanked her profusely - at least I think I did - babbling about the reason I was late getting to the door. I grabbed the lawn mower and hauled it inside the house, so it wouldn't disappear while we were out on our play date. The neighbours' complaining the past year has made me really paranoid. I'm not being bad on purpose. I've just been broke money and timewise for various less obvious reasons you know.

We were to meet two of my sisters in a big box store parking lot cross town with little time to spare. My Dad was antsy to get there because he wasn't familiar with the roads in the area and he is a compulsive early arriver. My sisters arrived about the same time and we all piled into the one's SUV. We headed out to a business farm on the south side of the city. About 10 miles out maybe. It specializes in berries (pies and baking), but also offers a lot of unique pottery, gemstones and art work for gardens as well as plants for sale. We ate first at their in-house restaurant then spent about an hour wandering through looking at everthing for sale. His neighbour really wants to be accepted by our family as his new partner and I have no trouble with that at all. I'm glad they've got each other and are happy. My Mom's been dead eight years now and I don't want my Dad to sit out the rest of his life in his home being lonely. That said her need to feel included was a barrier in some ways because talking aout the past sometimes made her uncomfortable, although it wasn't intended to be so. My Dad has an endless number of stories that he hasn't told me about his life, so I usually spend our visits trying to wring a few more details out each time. I tried to put myself in his neighbour's shoes so I could see our conversation from her point of view. Problem was instead of gracefully smoothing over any little bumps I was articulating the barriers out loud thus stuffing both hands in my mouth too. At least that's how it felt.

Part of the problem causing her response was that the day before, on my Dad's real birthday, my one sister had taken him out to a dinner theater - nobly supporting the arts - but she had brought along her hubby's recently widowed mother to act as my Dad's dinner partner instead of inviting the neighbour who is now his partner. Thus the neighbour already felt wrong footed and my sister made it even worse by launching into a dissection of that show - even though none of the other three of us had been there - then continued by talking about past events with my Mom. Ouch.

I tried throwing out other conversation starters, like asking my other sister about the trips she has upcoming, talking about music, and asking both about how their sons and daughters were doing thinking that would be nice neutral territory. Didn't work at all. The neighbour and I did talk about things hospital during lunch, but that made everyone else squirm - not that I thought that was a bad thing since it just meant that the squirming was on the other foot or whatever now.

My Dad's leg was bothering him so after about an hour he sat with his neighbour. At that point my sisters wanted to show me a view they really loved on the farm so we wandered out to look at the river valley from a viewpoint just out side of the retail area. Gorgeous. My sisters were talking about the idea of buying one large piece of real estate there as a family and subdividing it so we could all develop our own home each on our own little bit of soil. I was, being in a pragmatic frame of mind, talking about the technicalities - the problems with zining bylaws and servicing issues. I guess that is being a wet blanket when other people just want to fantasize. Then as we were returning, the lunch theater sister started talking about a dream my Mom had once told she had where she actually won the land and had started our family colony. Now my Mom being a Scorpio was know as the rule maker. One of her recollections of her dream was the list of her - Mom's - rules posted all through the common areas - swimming pools, bowling alleys, theaters and miniature golf. That was a standing joke in the family, but we never challenged mom's rules - don't mess with Scorpios don't you know. Anyway we had arrived back with my Dad and his neighbour when my sisters were recalling the details of my mom's pastoral dream. My one sister said quite loudly tht we would have to be certain to post my Mom's rules in absentia if that dream ever did take shape and she was looking a challenge at my Dad's neighbour as she stated that. Well ok that wasn't my foot in my mouth, but because I had been part of the conversation before we returned I felt like my foot was being placed back in my mouth again. What I didn't know at the time was that my Dad and the neighbour have been looking at property to purchase together in another pastoral setting about 20 miles west. I got the feeling that the one sister was using the discussion to try to insist that we honour the dream my Mom had years ago instead.

On the way home, I was asking my Dad about his foot and made a comment about it having been my task to do those massages for him among my regular chores when I was living at home. Silence in the car made it clear it had come across as ungracious, although all I meant to say was that it was usually my job to do the things that made my Dad comfortable. I did ironing mostly of his clothes, while my Mom looked after my sibs and hers. That sort of thing. Another foot or two in the oral cavity now, but I was just trying to change the subject any which way I could. Oops. I just noted that I liked the assignment anyway, because it meant when my Dad dozed off I could change the channel on the televison from hockey to something - anything - else. With three channels to choose from one wasn't all that picky, right?

Should have gone back to hospital talk I guess and kept that foot out of my mouth, but for after lunch I didn't want to see anyone tossing their lunch back after hearing some of the details. Maybe that was just my perception of things too though. Maybe I was the one trying too hard to make everything pleasant. Don't know. The cats must have felt that discomfort when I walked in the door because they seemed upset with me too. The deadbolt was still locked, but I found one of our boys - Mr Boots - cowering down in the one room in the basement seemingly afraid to come up and greet me. The other cats shied away at first when I tried to pet them as well. Maybe they felt the tension or maybe they smelled all those outside country scents and it was bothering them. I still had my foot in my mouth even with our felines. Oh well. Didn't take them long to get over it.

I did have the opportunity to set the yahoo virus damage right when I arrived home. The owner of our bulletin board had emailed back a link to a tech article on how to deal with that virus, as well as how it would affect your own PC. Checked to see who in my address book would have had the virus forwarded to them - anyone with a yahoo email address - and forwarded the article to them with abject apologies for causing them any discomfort. The best I could do in retrospect.

Anyway time for bed. All that fresh country air has made me sleepy and that is a good thing. Maybe I'll even remember my dreams tonight.
Good Night dear diary.


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