23:27 - 08.06.06
Moving On
It rained steadily all day. That was lovely. Everything looks green and fresh and it is cool outside. My favorite kind of weather - well at least for now.
I don't quite know what is bothering me, but I am finding it difficult to sleep for any length of time. At the same time, the things that would normally have me in a tizzy - like the job search - just have no impact at all. I think it's that feeling of something fairly big about to happen. The brain keeps trying to start in on the worry thang, then from somewhere comes the words - it isn't going to matter anyway, it is all set and everything will change soon. It is just very weird. It isn't fatalism per se, more like that sense of fate about to step in. It has been a long time since I last felt this way.
I did get a phone call today from the agency I last worked through. Was I interested.... and a voicemail about a position. I checked their website just to prepare for questions they might have when I call back tomorrow. The job that was mentioned really is asking for skills which I don't technically have - no paper trail. However, I do have a fair amount of peripheral experience in similar settings/assignments elsewhere. My rule is never to try and bluff or bluster. If a client wants what I can truly offer that's great, but otherwise I have no wish to waste their time. Just need to get more information I think. As I was looking at the other assignment listings, there were several that I would fit into easily. Given that I'm working on those election tasks and that the window of time we are being told we have is a maximum of 9 months I don't want to take on too much right now. Just pay the bills is all.
For the pre-election tasks: I spent about an hour today on one of four or five distinct assignments. My mandate letter from Elections Canada's head office tells me I am allowed a maximum of 14.5 hours total. I am certain that those benchmarks are being set for electoral districts where nothing ever changes but the date. The rest of us are supposed to just "make it so Number One". This time all my work will stop once I reach that maximum until I get approval to use more hours if I need them. I don't appreciate my actual wage being cut in half by someone in Ottawa who can't be bothered to allow for regional differences in their calcualtion of time required. After 10 years of giving away about half my time for free every event I have decided that isn't acceptable anymore. I have demonstrated clearly that I am able to "take one for the team" and also try to do the best for "managing taxpayer dollars", but there has been no reciprocation over that time. Not even anyone offering to wash my windows when I've had to double up on my assignments in order to make certain that my work is in on their set deadlines.
The other interesting thing was the postings on the casting company website. I don't fit any of the physical character descriptions posted right now, but there's always that off chance. Right? Just to sit and observe on a real set might be worth the price of admission. I spent a reasonable amount of time in televison studios doing social issues interviews, panel-type discussions and some child and youth shows over the years but that is likely an entirely different type of undertaking. I'm just curious .....
I heard from my sister's sister-in-law tonight. She hadd a major allergic reaction earlier this week too, as did several people she knows out on our left coast. The timing was such that it would be reasonable to say, that accounting for the wind patterns, that it was the same pollutant that caused all of our breathing troubles. That is of great concern because she noted that she never has allergic reactions. She was out of commission for a couple of days and drugged with anti-histamines too. I'd really like to find out what the triggering toxin was and who's emissions they were. That thing about accountability again. I still believe polluters should have to pony up the health care costs as well as the cost of lost wages/productivity they create.
The balance of the day? The usual - laundry, litterboxes, cooking, the like. In the news today a story about coyotes taking up residence under a family's outside deck. I showed it to Ms Kitty because she has been desperately trying to sneak out our front door for the past couple of weeks. She sniffily reminded me that she was a farm cat and could take care of herself, thank you very much. And then there was this tale of the love-sick grizzly.Time to tuck my wildlife wannabes into bed though. Maybe together we can capture that elusive creature sleep - or not. Good night dear diary.
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