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03:23 - 21.05.06
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It was cool this morning. That feeling of rain in the air. That didn't actually happen until about 4 pm, but it made putzing around the house and yard pleasant. When I collected the newspaper from the mailbox early this morning, the nice neighbours across the street were already in full swing with a home renovation project. Last year they redid their exterior doors. This year it appears they are replacing the old windows upstairs with sealed units. They were unloading them from the delivery truck as I pulled my newspaper inside. The gentleman seems to be quite a handyman and it appeared that some other males - family or friends - were also on site to assist. Their endeavours carried on until that little cloud burst around supper. That's when the ladders came down anyway.

The reason I was aware of the daylong event is that my youngest and I were outside working on the yard off and on all day. The neighbours in the next duplex keep dumping their garbage in the yard - we don't have any cigarette paraphenalia or potato chip bags in our house. I went out and picked more garbage up again today. My youngest attached the two keyed locks I'd bought for the fence gates while I was working away on the backyard. He started with the gate at the side of the house then moved to the gate at the back of the yard. That brought the adults from both sides of us to their windows where they stood smoking and watching. They need to get a real life I think. The reason I had chosen the long weekend for that small adjustment was that I was hoping that at least one side would be off camping somewhere. No such luck. When my youngest went inside at one point, the male from the other half of my duplex started in on the cat calls. "Don't you know how to do anything right?" I feel sorry for the children in that household as well as the adult female. I suspect there is likely a constant stream of putdowns directed at them so that they feel worthless and unworthy. It triggers memories of the same thing from the boys' Dad and not having to deal with it is one of the greatest things about being on my own. I had a fairly healthy self esteem when I met him, but by the time he left that feeling of being wrong and worthless all the time was pretty strongly entrenched. It's taken me a long time to shake it off and I know some of my guys still struggle with it even now. They don't know how special they truly are.

I just ignored the jerk today and went on with what I was doing. The two rose bushes that had been damaged last year when the fence was built are coming back nicely. I'm going to have to stake at least one of them. Deep pink blooms are their hallmark. There aren't many raspberry canes left, but the ones that are there are very healthy too. We may not get a full crop of berries this year but sometimes a fallow year is a good thing isn't it. My youngest dug up a bit of the garden, which is in the back corner against the fence, to see about the quality of the soil. It is in a pretty sorry state right now. His comment was that it was better suited to fill the holes dug under the new fence by the neighbours' activities, being that it is fairly clayey. That was what I had felt too and I've already decided to have some good growing dirt brought in. The soil hasn't been amended since we first sodded/seeded the yard about 25 years ago and it is a very low cost endeavour. The grass is very thick and healthy in the backyard right now. I have to try to figure out how I'm going to replace the lawnmower before I bring in more soil. Remember it was stolen about this time last year. I had paid $35 for it at a yard sale about 15 years ago, but I doubt I'll be that lucky again. However one never knows. Brand new those things now run about ten times as much. My youngest wants his own wheelbarrow too. I guess that's better than many other things he could ask for though.

I was thinking again about energy efficiencies and security for the home at the same time. The Canadian Broadcasting Company sponsored an energy retrofit challenge for 12 families across Canada with the winner earning a new hybrid car. It was based on the on federal energy rebate program that was available until the new government slashed it along with most other environmental programs - about 35 initiatives in all. Even if there are no rebate programs inplace I am hoping that seeing what 12 other households did with their retrofits will help me decide about mine. That theory versus reality factor.

The environmental question is getting a lot of press as Australia's Prime Minister arrived in Ottawa for a visit. The rapid dismantling of this and several other popular initiatives generated by the previous government is being rationalized away by likening the "new" policies to those now being developed in that country. In about 1993 it was the policies of the New Zealand government that were used to gut education and health care funding here in Alberta and this sets up equally bad vibes about the current activities. It should be noted, dear diary that New Zealand admitted those policies a major error that damaged their quality of life and their economy as a result. Many Canadians that watch government policy closely are expressing great concern about adopting this "newest" old industrial revolution strategy. Speaking of snakes in the grass, even though garter snakes don't bother me I think this critter might have done. And if you want to get away from it all I guess this civil war fort up for sale on the Canadian border - could someone please explain that to me? - Ebay has a deal for you.

My escape today was to watch old Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly movies. Have I mentioned that our cats love watching Fred? Me too. One thing that I object to is the sexualization of everything including dancing. The one scene of Fred in a gymnastics room and the one where he "dances on the ceiling" belies the comment by one actor that "for women dancing is all about sex". Yah - only for those trying to sell their CDs and videos. Once upon a time people kept their clothes on and some degree of dignity too. Although I did like the Beep video I saw the other day. The message as I explained my take on it to my youngest was that the girls were saying that they realized that it didn't matter what other qualities they had they were aware that all the males around them were only interested in well, you know. The lyrics seemed to be encouraging girls to acknowledge that was so but not to buy into the lines the males throw at them. They seemed to be trying to tell the girls that their own sense of self respect was much more important than any attention they got from the males around them. Not bad even if they didn't dance like Fred. Last night I was dreaming about working with or for lawyers and I still haven't figured out where that came from. Tonight maybe I'll dream of less stressful things. Good night dear diary.

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