01:19 - 11.05.06
full moon lead in
Well yes. I just got a hip hop workout tape. 3 segments of 10 minutes each. I didn't find the intensity that difficult. That is probably because I haven't got the arms and legs moving together the way it looks on the screen. But I'm just learning. Fake it 'til you make it was what that one instructor I had kept saying. The problem, of course, is that first one has to be clear on what one is faking. In this tape, one dances straight through and there are no break downs into smaller steps demonstrated. I watched it once and wondered if I would ever figure it out. Turns out the body is smarter than the brain though. A lot of the movement was intuitive once I got started. The other problem, at this point, was the speed of the steps. But as I was trying to keep up and still follow the choreography, I remembered how intimidating the belly dance workouts were at the beginning even having taken more courses. They're not so much so any more. So now I have no excuse to not exercise everyday right? Between the belly dance, yoga, latin dance and hip hop something should suit my mood. I even have a few of the straight cardio/calisthenic tapes for those days when I feel a need to punish myself. Just kidding. The one final thing I'm missing? Well when my CDs were stolen at that last assignment one of the ones that disappeared was my Elvis "remastered" disc that my sister and her daughters had given me for my birthday. I haven't really danced until ... well you know, if one is going to dance it might as well be with the King. Anyway, although there was an offer to replace what was taken it was never carried through. Guess I'll have to search for that after I'm working again, eh? The only thing I don't have is a tape that promotes sloth. Oh wait that's called regular tv programming.
Well there is one other thing. When I took that one hip hop course downtown I twisted my left knee trying to move as quickly as our instructor. Problem was the floor was wood laid directly over concrete. I wasn't wearing runners because I have always danced and done gymnastics barefoot. Most dancing should take place on sprung floors so the knees can bounce and twist with the rest of the body; on concrete they tend to stick in one place as the rest of the torso rotates. Ouch. By the end of this tape I could feel that one knee getting sore even though my floors are sprung. Have to remember to strap it for a while I guess. I guess on days when it is really cranky I can just take it outside for a walk though.
It was odd, but I decided to look up the Disney website after writing to you last night dear diary. How embarrassing. On the new releases - Tron - the 20th anniversary edition. I could order it online, but I really shouldn't be buying luxuries until I have a real income coming in again. It's one thing to pull some tapes out of a bargain bin for a couple of dollars each. You see, I exchange that expense for the treats - like those fresh-from-the-oven cinnamon buns - I'm overwhelmingly tempted to buy. I'm protecting my health and investing in my body you see. Isn't reframing a wonderful invention? I checked again in all the local outlets but there was no record of it available for purchase yet. I really just wanted to rent it for now anyway - I don't think my youngest will need to see it more than a few times to take the gist of it.
After that little exercise I crawled into bed and dreamed of dragons. Apparently my dreaming self feels we need to have a dragon built in to our new garden as it takes form. Not only that, I was shown exactly what it should look like - kind of a long, slithery concrete or grey beast low to the ground - and where in the layout it should be. Protection and the bringer of - something......... Not sure. I checked some feng shui sites this morning. It was surprising how close the dream and the bagua rules were - or maybe not. I guess I must be on the right track somehow. Synchronicities are supposed to be the universe's way of nodding in agreement. What the feng shui sites mentioned that I haven't quite processed is that it is the position and direction or the use of the dragon's breath that is important. I haven't quite figured out that one yet.
Yesterday my assistant swung by between her paid work and her parenting duties to sign the paperwork that has been waiting for her. She has really been fussed about having to sign anything yet she never balked at the opportunity during the event. Sometimes that worried me because I am still responsible for anything she undertakes. Informing me about what she has committed to on my behalf was a task she would sometimes neglect. That said I don't understand her reluctance now. She still owes me some more receipts but I guess I just have to keep nagging. After raising six boys I can manage that one quite well. I gathered all the other finance paperwork together today and faxed it off to my contact in Ottawa.
I also started contacting several more landlords and federal agencies that deal with real estate in Calgary. Reason is that I haven't heard from the landlord's agent I've been negotiating with since their Monday meeting and he hasn't returned my calls. I think the right of first refusal document and the fact that Ottawa wants to put our phone lines in immediately has scared them off. Not much I can do about that other than move on and keep trying. Who knows, maybe I'm reading that wrong and I'll hear good news tomorrow. We'll see.
Other than that I did more housework and research on the alternate energy sources that might work for heating my home in winter. I returned to several of my bookmarks of federal government sites just to find a lot of the information has been gutted. Our new government has cancelled almost all of the environmental programs and initiatives that were available before the election. Fair enough, but they could have left the technical and how-to information for those of us who want to proceed on our own couldn't they? Destruction of the sites just for it's own sake is petty as well as being a criminal waste of taxpayer dollars already invested in that research. Grumble. I did find an article in this months Reader's Digest that had a lot of helpful instructions though. Thank goodness for that magazine.
Tomorrow I need to get going on the job search and language training. One of my friends from my volunteer days called. I had been thinking about her a lot recently, but thought maybe she had moved since I hadn't seen or heard from her for several years. She is from Australia and had mentioned retiring back home you see. We had a good talk and she caught me up on her family news. She always has taken a mentor role in my life being closer to my parents age, so I had a shoulder to cry on for a bit. Why? Well, I think you've noticed, dear diary, that I am having a difficult time getting motivated to go back to work. The illness is part of it, but I don't think I can deal with the working conditions I've been coping with for the past decade anymore. It isn't worth the stress - that is what is compromising my immune system so badly and I think it has been a major cause of some of my health problems. I deserve better. The problem is I enjoy the research work - if it wasn't for the personnel problems I would happily continue. I've been trying to think of other ways to apply my skills and yet still find work that pays enough to keep the bills paid and the credit cards under control. I hate owing money - it gives me nightmares - but I also can't stand living in a home that is falling apart anymore either. The other thing I am trying to determine is if there is any way I can work at home. The costs the past few months have been so low from not going out my door, that I really don't need the same wage in order to make ends meet. I also regain about four extra hours in the day that would be my own to use. More time in my garden and exercising you know. Or another part time job. I don't mind working. I just don't want to have to cope with the abuse anymore. My friend has been a sounding board for many years, so I was telling her about the toll the work I do now has taken on me. I don't think she - or anyone else for that matter - realized how much it has been eating at me. I really hadn't seen any other options when the boys were still all at home, because the one industry I work in now is the only that has paid a wage that allowed me to raise my family on my own. After that we just chatted about things political. She's going home for a while in the fall, so I'm hoping that I can see her before she goes.
The language thing fits with the work in that it gives me more flexibility in applying for jobs you see. The one law firm that offered the workshop on due diligence has begun sending me their newsletters en francais. If I am going to upgrade my skills I think learning from the most effective and skilled wordsmiths is the best choice in any language. The other language? Urdu - offered through BBC of all places, and free. I already know quite a few words, as you know, but I have no idea how to string them all together. I have been wanting to learn at least one major Asian language for a while and this came as a gift - or another synchronicity if you will. Never look a gift horse in the mouth - right?
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