03:56 - 12.03.06
babies
Sometime last night the cats ate those tree buds I had harvested for medicine off my sundance tree. This morning they showed no evidence of any respiratory trouble, but I'm still hacking away. Guess that walk last night was a bit too long for the state of my lungs yet. The cats were quite hyper last night, so maybe those buds offer energy too. At one point Ms Snowy went dashing across the head of my bed. In her mouth was what appeared to be a mouse. One of her brothers was in hot pursuit. As I glanced up in a daze, Ms Snowy dropped that mouse. All I could think was that I hoped it was one of her toys and not the real thing. You see there has been a city wide field mouse infestation of homes because of the mild winter. Those mice didn't hibernate this winter - they "played". My biggest fear, as that mouse in Snowy's mouth hit my bed, was that it might get up and continue running without help or even worse splatter on my pillow if it was real and she had harmed it. Fortunately it was the purple mouse, so I reprimanded the two cats and fell back to sleep.
The fact that the cats have reclaimed my bed as their own is a good sign in some ways. Since I got sick at the beginning of the month, they have been avoiding my room completely. Felt as though I had the plague or something, instead of what was likely viral pneumonia from what my lungs were producing. I guess a recovery rate of about two weeks isn't too bad, although I resent missing the productive time I had anticipated having at home. I shouldn't though should I. I should be grateful that I wasn't having to try and find a way to go into work while being so ill and I should be grateful that the election work has given me enough income that I can actually afford the time off while still keeping up my bill payments.
I was feeling sorry for myself the other night when I was climbing the stairs for my exercise regime and then realized how lucky I was there too. You see, when I went back to check my diary entries after that letter from the tax lady, I found myself reading the posts I made just after I did that extraordinary aerial in the middle of the night while trying to get some housework done. The one I didn't land,but ended up in a face plant on the floor. Remember? That was when I tore or damaged all the muscles from waist to knee on the one side, just as I was starting to search for a new job. I recall trying to stair climb then in order to rehabilitate that one side and the agony it caused just doing a couple of flights at a time. There was so much damage that I had no muscle strength at all. One of the men I had worked with about a year before met me on the street downtown one afternoon when I was attending a job interview and made it clear he wanted to know how soon my delivery date was and how delighted he was that I was expecting a baby. Talk about humiliating. So now my knee hurts a bit when I do my half hour a day climb, but as long as I remember to maintain proper posture, it eases off. So in a way I am gaining the benefit of doing the exercises in the way that most helps develop the best muscle balance, right? I also don't look like I'm pregnant anymore. There's still too much tummy fat, but it's going if the unmentionables are anything to go by. Be grateful for the small things right.
I spent most of the day either researching renovation ideas in the newspaper, or on the internet or communicating with friends roundabout who I haven't been able to visit for a bit. Number two son called to say they finally got a land line for their telephone. They moved into their home over two years ago and have had to wait this long for the service to be installed. Still no baby, but my son said my daughter in law was fine. He had torn up the bath on the main level just to be certain she got a regular amount of exercise this last month. Anyone who has been pregnant knows that one spends a lot of their last month attending to bio breaks as the baby uses one's bladder for a trampoline, while waiting for their emergence to the world stage. She is scheduled to go in for an induction midweek, but I asked my son to ask the doctor to explain the advantages and disadvantages of that choice. They hadn't asked and I think it's important that the decision be made for medical reasons not for convenience.
My first son was an induced labour because he was overdue and because the ultrasound indicated that the circumference of his head was getting well beyond the size I would be able to deliver naturally. Induced labour is very unpleasant and the contractions are overwhelming. The delivery eventually ended up being a high forceps, just as they were gearing up to do a caesarean. A caesarean when the head is already in the birth canal is very dangerous for both mom and baby you see. My son has always had some neurological issues since and I still feel it was partly caused by the drugs that were pumped into me without my permission. I wasn't even told what they were until a few days later. The drugs they injected directly into my spine left me paralyzed from the ribs down from the point where I dilated to 10 cm to when I feel off the delivery table when everyone walked out of the delivery room expecting me to follow on my own steam. Then there was the violence of the delivery itself. I don't want my grandbaby to have to enter the world the same way unless there is absolutely no other choice. When I was giving birth the first time it was not long after the standard practice of strapping a woman in labour down to the delivery table had been stopped. However, there was still the belief that a woman in labour had no right to have a say in anything that was done to her or the baby. What was done then would be considered assault now.
The fact that I wanted to nurse my son sent most of the nursery staff into shock. I had to go and get his bassinet from the nursery and drag it to my room to gain compliance, because the nurses were insisting that they were going to feed him sugared water first. Nuh uh. I could barely walk because of the mess the doctor had made of me while using those forceps, but the wall was pretty solid on that floor and it held me up just fine. I think the fact that I was so determined to nurse him despite what it took out of me to get him right after that birth experience was why the nursing staff left me alone. That and the fact no one messed with my mom when it came to her children and grandchildren. She arrived at the hospital with my Dad in tow when they heard I was in delivery. At that point in time no one other than the father was allowed visits and discharge of patients was never before a week had passed. The fiery red-headed charge nurse tried to explain that to my mom and my mom explained to her that she didn't care. Don't mess with Scorpios. It's bad for your health even if you are a nurse. Those nurses remembered me each time I arrived back for another delivery too always asking very nicely "and how is your mom". Makes me tired just remembering so I think I'll just go off to bed - if the cats have left me any space. Good night dear diary.
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