23:54 - 22.10.05
Downtime
Alright, dear diary. There is a contest within the Diaryland community to create the best survey. Surveys are actually very tricky things, because often people read the same group of words but interpret them differently based on their own experiences or knowledge of the world. I am always curious about what is important to other people and why? What is it that makes them think and act the way they do. When I was little, I always thought that if I just found the right system of rules I would be able to make sense of it all. Right. I studied every religion where books were available to me, thinking that the answers must be there. That didn't answer my questions. Then I studied history and mythology - the social development of our societies - thinking I would find my answers there. Not. Then I studied the politics and culture of coutries worldwide. No answers there either. So I just wrote a simple getting to know you survey. May be the answer was always just to ask someone directly what makes them tick. Feel free to add any other comments you want dear diary. For all I know I didn't ask the right questions to best understand you.
I spent today working on my downtown work and on the election tasks with a side of houswork too - you know mowing the lawn and cleaning out litter boxes. It was really difficult to find the energy and motivation to do any of it. Don't know why I feel so tired and jaded. Nothing really interests me right now and I just want to sleep. Maybe that's just because I'm still not over the flu or whatever I had last week. Starting last June until now it has felt as though I'm under seige somehow. Work is better of course but home, community and family have been one trial and challenge after another. I think because I have always felt that those were my places of sanctuary,so to lose any sense of safety or support from those sources is just a bit more than I can cope with. I know I should be counting all my blessings. I should also remember to look at where I was a few years ago and where I am now in comparison. Big improvement, is it not? Of course. So for calming the nerves and getting back on the path why not try out this labyrinth or consider this quantum theory or contemplate these awesome pumpkin carvings. Just to get in the mood for All Souls Night - the Celtic New Year. Good night dear diary.
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