03:18 - 08.10.05
Return of the Jedi
Good morning dear diary. My youngest and I just finished reading as military airplanes droned past. Strange sense of parallel dimensions going on in my mind. The story right now is about the preparation for confrontation between the two warring sides in the wizard's community. Was the story evoking the military intrusion into our skies? No of course not, but maybe reflecting it.
So, to continue my comments from yesterday, about the astrological Saturn opposition to my natal Sun and what had occured last time it happened. I have already described the one encounter with a murderer in a post this spring, because I was feeling discomfort at the return of that person into the oil patch as a co-worker. Often people come out of prison with enhanced contacts into the criminal world and that was my reading on that man. The second incident was with a violent man too.
One woman had been hospitalized after her spouse tried to kill her by pushing her out of their car while it was moving at a very high rate of speed. He had gone off the deep end and was accusing her of having an affair with almost every male she came in contact with. One afternoon I was walking through the weight training area, while she was using the pulleys for the rebuilding of upper body strength. I glanced over and it seemed she had a halo of light around her. That really threw me, but I wasn't aware of the reasons for her presence in the hospital at the time, so I didn't apprehend the probable meaning of the insight. I just thought I was being shown one of the special people in my community of earthbound souls. One morning not long after that incident, the bus I travelled on to work stopped short of the hospital. The driver stated that all traffic was being diverted away from the building, so anyone wanting to go there would have complete their journey by walking in. Fine. Across a large field and then through a maze of buildings and pavement. It was a beautiful summery morning after all. Got to the doors of the hospital and found it was full of police officers. Numbers were not normal, but emergency personnel of all divisions were not uncommon sights.
After changing into my uniform, I just proceeded toward the elevators as I usually did. There were several policemen stationed in front of them. "Which floor are you working on?" I told them and the response was that no one was allowed to go there or to the floor above or below either. The floor below was the psych ward - it was restricted access anyway - but the prohibition to the other two floors made no sense. There were a lot of seriously ill/injured people there and they needed to be cared for. What was the problem? No response to that, but no bending on the access issue either.
Went down to the cafeteria in the basement because I knew it had a intrafloor phone available for staff. Called the physiotherapist I was supposed to work with first thing. My week to work with burn patients in the morning and the workload was very heavy at that time. I asked what was going on. She said the woman I had seen the halo around had been taken hostage by her husband in the room where she had been staying. He was a marksman for the RCMP and known to be a crack shot - obviously "cracked" in the other sense too. I asked her how she had gained admission to the floor, when no one was being allowed entry. She had taken the stairs that were little used except by us. Thought about it for a moment,then decided that I would go up to the floor anyway despite the risk of this fellow trying to escape by force of his weapons. My coworker had told me that all the patients from the wing where the hostage taking was playing out had been evacuated to our wing.
When I arrived on the floor I found that there was a cordon of police officers standing in front of the entryway. The stairs came out behind them into the rehab ward so I could still get in. The morning passed with patient after patient receiving their regular hydrotherapy treatments. Huge tub of water with an electronic hoist so we could move them in and out on their stretcher with the least amount of disturbance for them. The only concern I had was how we would get a patient out if the marksman came calling. There was a stairway exit within the work area, but most of the patients were too ill to help themselves. We would have to carry them. Uh huh. Took a break around noon and was standing at the receiving desk when a reporter wandered up and started trying to get more information about the hostage and the circumstances surrounding it. How did they get in? Same way we did - snuck up the stairs of course. Enterprising soul anyway. How did it end? He shot her then himself at the end of the work day. Still a kick in the gut even this long after every time it comes to mind.
The last set of circumstances were quite different. There was a wildcat strike by the union earlier on before the Saturn thing, but seeming to be the harbinger of the opposition. Just prior to their call, several children in multiple summer vacation incidents had been brought in with severe burns - mostly from things like campfires or scalding water. The strike was illegal and, even if it hadn't been, when I weighed the needs of the children against the actions of the union/management I couldn't justify withholding my services. It was very difficult to get staff who could work with burn patients. The patients were usually severely disfigured and in extreme pain. The turnover of staff was very high, with most people only being able to stay on that rotation a year or two at most. I could make myself go in by reminding myself of what the alternative would be for the patients if someone didn't help with their treatments. Kept me going anyway. At that time there was no such thing as employee wellness or support. The one thing one never heard was "how are you" at work. During the strike, the telephone at home was constantly ringing with calls from both the union and management.Threats uttered from both sides, if one didn't toe the line the caller was drawing in the sand.
I ignored both and went with what my gut told me about breaking other people's "rules". In a lot of ways that is what that Saturn transit seemed to be about. The Sun - "self" - in opposition to Saturn - social rules for relationships or "the other". That was where my essay on knowing the rules well enough so that one understands when when must break them to move forward came in last night.
Balance comes from, as Kenny Rogers sang in "The Gambler",
"You got to know when to hold them,
know when to fold them,
know when to walk away,
know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sitting at the table.
There'll be time enough for counting when the dealings done.
Now every gambler knows that the secret to surviving
Is knowing what to throw away and knowing what to keep.
�cause every hand�s a winner and every hand�s a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep."
And that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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