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12:39 - 21.08.05
Adder
When I arrived at work Thursday morning, two of the supervisors I really like were one workstation over talking. Normally they don't appear to communicate too much and I think that is on purpose. It was obvious that they were both upset and that the subject was a personnel issue or two. I made a point of rattling and banging around, so they could feel that their privacy wasn't being invaded. That time of the day I'm the only other person around and I think that was why they had their confab then. During the "renovation" the top partitions were removed, meaning as soon as one stands - even we vertically challenged types - one can see everyone else's work space, so I also made certain that it was apparent I was setting up for the morning rather than trying to involve myself in their interaction. The partition was likely lowered to provide more security for my desk, which was screened off on it's own, but it now means I am constantly finding the perfumed coworker and the one I traded places with peering over to see what I am doing. Sigh.

It is odd, but there have been a lot of articles and comics lately in our newspaper that seem to be reflecting what I experience in my assignments. The "Sally Forth" cartoon today was about toxic work situations - although I have trouble with putting someone down because of their appearance - and the "For Better or Worse" series has been about sexual harrassment and relationship issues. There was an article a couple of days ago that talked about the care one should take when forming friendships with co-workers - workships they called them, I think. There was validation for a lot of things I've observed over time, including a strong caution to avoid revealing much personal information. That social engineering theme again, as some people use what you tell them or what they believe they know about you to undermine or create perceptions about you that are their tools for better "placing" themselves in the office hierarchy.

It is also a tool used almost as blackmail. The neighbour I used to ride to work with used that a lot with her co-workers. One day, after recounting a particularly nasty attack she had launched against someone who was defenseless against her at work, she said that she knew I wouldn't ever reveal her activites to any one because she had so much information about me. In truth, she only has what she could twist to sound like something bad, as is her usual practice. Almost all of my "skeletons" are located here in my posts and there aren't any that I am afraid of becoming known. Someone else might as well learn or be saved from making my mistakes. Right? Most are pretty public anyway, just because of all the time I spent volunteering. Both my community and the industry I work in are like small towns. "If you've forgotten what you are doing just ask one of the residents. They can tell you in great detail for the asking".

There is one New York paper that sometimes seems to assign its cub reporters essays in order to develop their analytical skills. One article on office gossip was very disappointing, because it posited it as a great tool for behaviour management and "setting community standards". Now think of the whisper game sometimes played at parties. You know where the first person whispers something to the next person in line and that is continued down to the last person who then tells the group what they believe they heard was the original statement. Most times it doesn't even resemble the opening remark. That is an instance where all the transmission goes on at one shot and there is no intent to malice. Gossip is one of those weapons where there is no defense except silence, because any response feeds the fire.

When my number five son was in junior high - about grade 8 maybe - he was very popular with the young ladies and he had a pretty big bunch of male friends too. One day a voicemail was left for him by a young lady giving a very clinical and detailed description of the sexual activites she would like to engage him in. The caller left a name and phone number. I called that number and spoke with the mother at that home, thinking she might want to know so she could have a talk with her daughter about it. She became very angry and stated that her daughter would never do something like that. Fine. I then called the principal of the school and explained what had transpired with both calls. There was a brief silence and then the principal told me what she thought was likely happening. The name of the young lady left was that of a very bright, popular girl who was also a truly good kid. There was another female who had been trying to oust her, take over her group of friends and "steal her boyfriend". She had made several damaging allegations about the innocent girl in different venues, trying to destroy her reputation and also trying to undermine her friendships by misrepresenting her comments to those friends. You know "I was really surprised at what Sally said about your new dress being so ugly- I think it's beautiful". That sort of thing. It appears the young woman felt that if she could spread her venom through someone else whose reputation for honesty and fairness was well known - my son's - then she would gain the advantage two ways. She would be anonymous and the young lady would be portrayed as a - well you know - when my son told his friends about it. When my son came home, I explained the story to him. He realized what was going on at once and agreed not to discuss what had been done with anyone else. The principal called me back the next day to let me know the girl who was so vindictive had been expelled after being confronted about the last attack on the other girl. Sometimes there is justice.

So back at work on Thursday the tension in the department was palpable and seemed to increase over the morning. That was obvious even with my headphones in place. Staff everywhere clustered in twos or threes whispering/hissing. Made me afraid to take bio breaks even. Just as well, since the perfumed worker was in the washroom at least once every hour always taking her purse with her when she went. The one time I walked in and almost had to back right out again. I don't know if she'd dropped her perfume bottle, but the chemical concentration from it was so high I started to gag. The second in command walked in about then and she started coughing too. Around noon an email came from our supervisor. Meeting on Monday to review techniques for getting along in an open office setting. I was in the kitchenette just after getting tea when two of the other supervisors I like came up to me while I was tidying up the counter. It seemed as though they were trying to tell me that I didn't need to feel what was happening was aimed at me. When I got the email the first thing I wondered was what I might have done wrong. Sort of like that feeling one has when a policeman is standing by you. You know you haven't broken any rules, but maybe there is a rule one doesn't know about. Couldn't think of much since I don't interact most days - back to that first article I cited. I learned that information the hard way a long time ago. The two supervisors did almost a skit where they both tried to determine what they might have done to require the meeting too. Acting out. They were trying to inject a fair amount of humour into the conversation about perceived sins. My supervisor came by a few times that day and the next just asking if I was ok and if I needed anything. Makes me wonder what was said and if the gossip mill was torqued to cast me in a negative way. Don't really care to be honest, but if that was the case, it must have been quite mean spirited. All I can come up with was the ally of the perfumed one had come by earlier in the day to tell me she had a friend with connective tissue problems who wanted to come and "share with me". I must have looked really puzzled because I quite frankly see the condition as a plus not a minus. I like being physically flexible, thank you very much. Bouncing is better than breaking by far. I asked her what she was talking about and she said - "oh you know, I had just heard from someone that you had it and might need support". Well the only time that genetic condition was discussed was that one instance in the yoga session where I explained to the leader why my joints wouldn't lock in the positions she was demonstrating. The only way locking could occur for me was if the joints were hyperextended. If you recall, I just wanted her to quit singling me out in the group or trying to touch me in the middle of an asana. After the email, the whole atmosphere of the department changed. Everyone was bending over backward to be pleasant and considerate. The perfumed worker didn't return after lunch so that may have cooled things down too, since a lot of the huddles had included her. Or maybe she had already booked the time off. Don't know. Anyway time to go do dishes, colour archetypes and read to my youngest and the cats. Friday was a bit surreal in other ways so I'll try to post about it later tonight.

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