14:42 - 29.05.05
Canadian Dream
A lot of dreaming last night took me deep into the morning. First up was a search for a new home in a community that I've always liked. It was as though someone had offered to help me out with a move if I would relocate there. We travelled street by street, looking for just the right combination of factors that would best suit me. Large enough yard to accommodate two cat houses - one for our males and one for the females - plus a huge traditional English herb and flower garden; the whole yard surrounded by trees. I think it was decided that the old building would be demolished and a new one built because the rewiring,replacing the heating system and new plumbing would cost as much if not more. There was no option of leaving the old house the way it was - it had become dangerous. I don't see how in real life that could be, but this is supposed to be a time of miracles, so I'll wish on a star one more time. No harm done anyway.
The next dream was truly entertaining in that it was about working with Tina Turner. Uh huh. I have held her as a role model for a very long time, because she survived a very bad marriage and managed to wrest control of her talents and her life from those who were exploiting and manipulating her. She seems to have done it through a fierce dedication to her own truth and faith, despite all the barriers thrown at her. The dream was about actually working as part of her show, although I think I'm way too old for that. It seemed to be in Las Vegas or maybe some place similar in Europe. Monte Carlo, maybe. The stage show involved a swimming sequence a la Esther Williams, but nothing would get me in public in a bathing suit now. When I had a flat stomach a decade ago - no problem - but not now. It seemed as though I went to meet Ms Turner at her home/studio to do some planning for the show. We walked into a huge room full of the clothing she has worn over the span of her career. She kept changing into different personas, some of which were truly exotic. During some of this sequence I felt as though I was sometimes seeing her and then seeing Cher in a similar setting. Maybe because I admire them both and they both have similar histories. The one outfit of Tina's I liked best was sort of an orange-gold net creation that made her look like an angel. It had all the men in the area totally helpless too - if you catch my drift. All three of us were laughing about that. Classy ladies, those two.
Next dream was about travelling overseas, but that isn't as clear. It was interrupted by that sensation of someone crying and I woke up to find tears on my face again. I don't understand the connection nor can I figure out who it might be. I know all I want to do is comfort them, but that is tough to do when one doesn't even know who needs you.
I spent most of yesterday trying to look after my youngest and the cats/housework too. Called and set up an appointment for him with our doctor. I'm afraid he's coming down with the same thing I had. That bacteria must have an incubation period before it really takes hold, because I remember I was sick for three days at the end of March then went back to work, even though I didn't fully recuperate. Maybe we can catch it for him before it really settles in to his lungs. One article that seemed to fit for my health somehow was this one about the long term effects of a catastophic exposure to a toxin. I had no problem with blood pressure either until I had that allergic reaction to the one antibiotic. What concerns me is why the medical community would focus simply on treating the symptom - aka blood pressure pills - when it would make more sense to try and heal the underlying cause - damage to the kidneys. The reason is enlightened self interest for taxpayers. Kidney damage causes a whole array of long term chronic illnesses that are very expensive to treat. If the source of those illnesses is dealt with, society gains a healthy productive member as well as avoiding the increasing and incremental costs of long term care, plus the extra time required of family and friends to care for their loved one. My guess is that most families would prefer their quality time together also included a quality of life component rather than the struggle to cope.
In the news - this story about another Enron type situation. This one unfolding in the Securities Commission of Alberta. Pretty tough to get private sector businesses to respect the laws when the regulatory bodies overseeing them refuse. Lead by example. Maybe like the US is doing for the genocidal activities in Darfur in the Sudan. I think in the long run supporting other countries in their pro-active attempts to address their own problems works more effectively than forcing one's own version of a solution.
Think of it as it might apply to someone trying to "solve" your life problems. For example, my one walking partner was trying to intervene in a part of my life she felt was "defective" - as in no partner - by trying to "hook me up" me with two different prospective partners - one of each gender. I still don't think she realizes how deeply offensive that was to me or how close she came to being told never to contact me again. First, where she may feel she isn't complete without someone else in her life, I am very comfortable being on my own. To then compound that by choosing two people that fit her definition of good matches using, I think, her neediness as her criteria just made me incredibly angry. Anyway before I go jogging off on a rant, dear diary, I think you catch my drift. As I've noted before, if some male comes along whose company I enjoy and who shows a respect and value for me based on who I am, great. Otherwise, I really like my own company. I have my sons, family, friends and cats for times when I want social interaction.
Another way of looking at it may be through a culture that one is not familiar with. As I posted in you a month or two before, the reaction of one of my friends when I suggested they try out as an extra for a movie about a specific ethnic group, clearly demonstrates that even when one thinks they understand the dynamics for another person well there may be a whole history or culture that one isn't even aware that they are immersed in. Mea culpa on that one for me.
A final example might be in the relationship that Canada and the US work hard to maintain. Sometimes that works well and sometimes not so good. It's all about setting healthy boundaries and then working to keep them that way. That's what respect is - love in workman's clothing.
On the theme of what makes Canada Canadian there was this story out of Toronto about the statue dedicated to one of their past leaders in social harmony, how we view our current leaders and how we form and nurture our future leaders. Then there is the country itself, each region being unique and special of and in itself.
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