11:22 PM - 05.04.05
Bardo
Cherry blossoms. Deep pink, almost red, vibrating with life and the potential of spring. That's what was in my dream the other night. Nothing else - just looking up through a canopy of blossoms. It was dusk and I could hear the beginning of the Bon Festival. I knew the fires were kindled and the food was prepared, but it didn't really matter somehow. In some way I felt that I must be a very elderly person living in a family that was quite privileged. They knew that this quiet time was more nurturing to my sense of harmony (wa), restoring balance to my spirit (hara). It was time to leave the body and fly free. The trigger was the opening of that very first bud on my favorite tree. Freedom. I can't describe how peaceful that makes me feel each time I recall the dream. It was meant as a reminder to just focus on what is important. Very little of that is in my daily life right now, but it seems it will be soon. No hint was given of how that would come about, but it doesn't matter anyway. Que sera sera.
Coming from that deep sense of peace it is difficult to be in the world right now. Work was about the same as the day before - less distractions though. Had nice interactions with a few of the staff. Questions about Fred - the ghost - and about how I was feeling. I'd forgotten about being sick last week, already. A lot of email with requests for information or follow up on some work I had done a couple of weeks ago. The legal department sent a list of items they wanted handled a specific way, so I spent the afternoon doing the research necessary. As with most projects like that, it generated a smany questions as it answered. Another list sent off to the lawyer at the end of the day.
No cheque yet and just a response from the recruiters that they would put a stop payment on it and re-issue a replacement - soon. As long as that is before Friday I'm ok with that. No response about the proposal for the day of immersion in things Latin from the organizing committee, but maybe there were other issues to address first. I'll call them tomorrow if no word is received. Response from Elections Canada with respect to my assignment. When they first indicated they had received my package of data a few days ago, there was no acknowledgement of receipt of about half the material. I sent a request for verification that they had all the other pieces as well. Today the response confirmed all but receipt of the timesheets for my assistant and myself. Of course. Why doesn't that surprise me? Theoretically the pay cycle runs every Friday, so theoretically we should be paid by then. Theoretically. We'll see what happens.
I feel better than I did last week but I'm still feeling a bit hung over from the change in scheduled by the state time. A bit of flare up in both my left knee and in my left wrist - the echo from the strain that I experienced at the last contract when I was having to sit on that tupperware stool to do the data capture in the fileroom. To help myself ignore the discomfort, the CDs I chose for the day were all upbeat and action oriented. I listened to "Theory of a Dead Man's" new CD first off. Just good rock and roll with a bit of a country and western bite to it. The real kind, not the west coast version. I love the lead singer's voice. Listened to the different versions of Will Smith's song "Switch" to find the energy and focus necessary to get through a patch of tedious detail, then switchd over to Steve Earle, then Eminem, then the Desert Roses CD. Just high energy stuff for me today.
The other reason for choosing that music was that sometimes that upper layer of the mind needs to be distracted, so that I can work through the issues that are hidden below the surface in the workplace - just below the radar so to speak. There is still an odd undercurrent that flows through staff interactions. A tension I can't explain. I avoid the coffee/lunch clatches because I prefer walking as a way to blow off steam. Hope that doesn't mean I'll be blind sided by an eruption. Staying out of the way is my preferred course of action. The other thing that is bothering me is that there are some anomalies in what I'm seeing in the records that leave me very uncomfortable. Something's not right in Gotham City. Oddly enough one of my brothers in law picked up on it during the family gathering. Apparently he knows some of the staff in various departments even though it is not the industry that he usually interacts with. He just said that they are very ethical people and that they've been concerned because they know that their security has been compromised. They are having trouble locating the source of the problem because they just don't think or do things that are dishonest so they can't follow the behaviour that is causing the problem. Some odd questions at work too from people I wouldn't expect and maybe one or two indirectly from people who are friendly with my last supervisor.
On second thought maybe I'll just go back to savouring the sight of the cherry blossoms. Yes, pink .......
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