11:04 AM - 11.03.05
Relief
I'd ordered in boxes from the offsite storage facility, so I could do a random check of the quality of the data capture that I am dependent on to make decisions about coding the material. There were some worrisome indicators that suggested maybe things weren't really what they seemed. That gut feeling was right. Either only some information was captured per box, leaving the rest of the data "lost in space", or it was deceptive. The old conditioning from the past four years of work kicked in and I found myself reluctant to show it to the woman who is responsible for that data. Usually the response is defensive and angry. I know a lot of that is because most companies in this industry simply will not invest enough resources in either the personnel or physical facilities for them to do their jobs properly. It's a bit like starving someone to death slowly so no one else notices. The hope, I guess, is that there will never be a discovery or challenge that ends up in the courts where the expenditures would cover the wages of the additional personnel many times over. When I finally did summon up the energy to deal with that reaction, I found it wasn't necessary. "Fine I'll fix it right away - it'll make things better for the staff." I pointed out that it was likely going to mean pulling in hundreds of boxes, but that didn't seem to be an issue. I like this company.
This morning I was working away when a tap came on the shoulder - time for a coffee meeting. The expert leaves for Texas today, so it was meant to give everyone a chance to say goodbye, I think. Nice person, I hope it won't be the last time we see her. The mood in the meeting was relaxed and cheerful. All women - just swapping personal information and stories. Every male who stepped on to the floor to work with the records turned tail and sped in the opposite direction when they saw us all clustered in the coffee room - even with doughnuts and muffins clearly visible on the table. We decided it was because the sight of a group of women all laughing together was deemed to indicate grave danger for themelves. Uh huh.
I had to step out to take a call at one point. One of the people I had emailed in the federal government's procuremnt divisions was calling me after recieving my email about office space. He promised to do his best to get me into some government space or, failing that, use some of his contacts to free up something in the private sector. When would I need it. Can't say since an election will only be held if parliament is dissolved. At least he understood that.
Lunch break I went out to the island and just wandered on the pathways up against the river. Still huge blocks of snow and ice built up against the north shores, the river racing past just out beyond. There have been several drownings the past week because people think the snow pack is solid enough on the ice to support their weight. It isn't. The consistency is such that it is more like muskeg or quicksand - very dangerous and deceptive. I saw one man trying to push his luck that way as I headed back to the office. He looked to be in his 60's. He was obviously experienced enough to take precautions, but that mom instinct tends to make me want to intervene anyway. He saw my reaction and moved closer to shore. A lot of geese and ducks, squirrels and magpies playing tag on the greening grass the lee side of the island made it feel as though one was in a completely separate world from the north bank. Two seasons - winter and spring existing in the same space at the same time, but separate. Cool.
I spent about an hour after lunch writing up a weekly report for my supervisor, because she's been told she needs to support her project costs with backup data. No problem - that's the norm for me. Given the expansion in the scope and the amount of information I've culled and passed on already, I found I was a bit overwhelmed in trying to summarize it for her though. I'll show that to her on Monday after she's had some time to breathe. All she did this week was run from workshop to workshop with the expert from Texas helping with the presentations. It was obvious this morning that both of them were tapped out and tired. Both still really pleasant, but why push them when it isn't critical. Coming at it fresh on Monday for me will be useful too. I'm not certain how cogent my explanations would be when there is so much to convey. Brain drain.
I'm beginning to believe that there is a problem with the exhaust system in the van of the person I ride with to and from work. Whenever I get into the back seat, I feel overwhelmingly as though I am going to pass out. It isn't the sleepiness that can sometimes make riding the train an adventure either. It is more that feeling one has as the anesthetist is pouring his anaesthetic into your arm through the IV, just before surgery. I can feel alert and energetic both before and after being in the van, but that time in between is getting to be a bit scary. Guess I'll just have to be sure that I open the windows a bit each time - fresh air, such as it is.
Got home and found a call from one of my volunteer friends. She had quetions about federal issues and seemed quite anxious to know how my new job was going. I'm not sure how she knew about that but, then again, this community is like a small town - I shouldn't be so surprised, I guess. She commented on how much happier I sounded; my youngest son has already noted the same thing. I've noticed myself that I actually am able to laugh - something I just didn't dare do while at the other company. Strange how strongly work conditions can affect one's entire personality, isn't it. I'm definitely tired, but it isn't the emotional and psychological fatigue that drains one's ability to function in all other facets of one's life; it is more that "good workout" feeling. I like it.
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