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- 050304
Day-o
It was reported in the news tonight that four RCMP officers were gunned down while trying to bust an illegal drug operation in rural northern Alberta. In Canada we generally treasure our front line law enforcement personnel and shooting them is one of the worst crimes someone can commit here. The murderer in the shootout today killed himself after he shot the officers.

It brought back memories of another murder years ago when I was working in the rehabilitation department in the hospital. A police officer shot and killed at point blank range, by a junkie who was high on whatever. He and some buddies were being pursued by the policeman in question, after they had robbed a store to buy their drugs. The killer was about 18 or 19 at the time. He passed out with a tourniquet still tied around his arm. I guess he was injecting his poison and passed out before he could remove it.

I can't recall all the details, because those weren't what really mattered to me at the time. What did was that here was this person, the same age as me, who was already a killer. He showed no remorse, ever, while we treated the damage to his body in the hydrotherapy suite. In fact he even acted as though he was some kind of hero. He looked so normal - at least as much as someone soaking wet and naked, with red hair and tattoos on his arm, could look. He was handcuffed to the stretcher that we used to lower him into the water. There was always one, and usually two, police officers - guns at the ready - standing within feet of where we worked, glowering that this fellow was being treated at all.

The person it affected the most was the physiotherapist who was on that rotation at the time. As a teenager, she, her sister and her Mom had fled over what would become the Berlin Wall, trying to escape the abuses of the Russian army. She couldn't say what had happened to her father and brother left behind - or perhaps she just didn't want to discuss it. Whatever she had experienced at the hands of men in uniformthen, now was recalled as she suffered flashbacks while trying to do her job. Not her fault nor the policemen's, but still she was seriously traumatized by something external to the presence of a murderer in the room. I wouldn't really fully comprehend the damage it would do to her until I was older, had taken the Survivors of Torture training and worked with other women who had been victims of experiences similar to hers.

The death of the killer today was at least some sort of resolution to all the issues around punishment versus rehabilitation of a person with a criminal past. That fellow I helped treat years ago? I met him at the last company I worked with on the second of the the three assignments there. He was presented to me as a consulting scientist. He hadn't changed much - just a bit more filled out with a thicker jaw. You don't really forget people you've seen naked as quickly as those who aren't - especially under the circumstances it happened. I don't think he recognized me because I was always in "OR" garb - scarf, mask, gown and gloves - whenever he was brought down for treatment. It was curious, but I really debated about my stand with respect to civil liberties at that point. In theory I am in full agreement that when someone has paid their debt to society, they should be allowed to become a contributor to the common good of society instead of remaining a burden. Nearly $100,000 per year is spent to keep each criminal in jail in Canada. There are a lot better places to invest our money - education and health to start with. However, when I was dealing with this fellow, it was apparent that he didn't have the credentials or the knowledge to do the work we were told he was there to do. He couldn't even locate basic information in the library. He also couldn't write above a grade four or five level when he communicated his findings. There are a lot of very intelligent people who don't write well, but to have gained the university degree he claimed to have, it wasn't possible that he could have passed the exams. Given his past and the fact he had only been released from jail not long before that time, I often wondered how and why he was brought into the company. Don't know the answer even now.

Anyway, at my current contract I worked mostly at mopping up the last parts of my assignment. My co-worker came by my workstation around 10:30 and told me our supervisor wanted to meet us down in the coffee shop at 11. That was odd, since we usually just have any pre-meetings in the office. Realized why when we got downstairs. There was a carefully scripted personal attack launched on me by my supervisor, with the co-worker playing the straight guy. The reason I say that is that they made assertions about negative things our liaison was supposed to have said about my work. Yet in our weekly project meeting this afternoon, and in working directly with her several times today at her request, the opposite attitude was expressed. She was very respectful both of my time and the work I had done. I don't understand it and it contributed to the weather migraine that hit me just after. I went out for a walk after the half hour broadside and tried to remember what I had learned when I worked with the psychologists when I was volunteering in my community. Personal attacks, whether in private or work situations, are common when someone's position is too weak to support any fair discussion or when they are desperate to regain the control/power they feel they have over someone. Still doesn't make sense, when I only have one day left on site. My supervisor did say that the liaison wanted to renegotiate the contract because I was leaving, but since the issue of extending my contract hadn't been raised when I started looking for some work to go to at the end of February and since I've given extra time to him to complete my portion of the work I don't see why he and my co-worker are attacking me. They need to look in the mirror, I think.

Decided it wasn't such an issue after the weekly meeting, because the liaison made it clear she was happy with me and my work several times during that half hour. I was indicating that a lot of material had disappeared off the shelves and other material was showing up out of thin air that hadn't been there before. I had the stats and the spreadsheet of data to back me up on that. She obviously was very concerned about the amount of material that represented and left me to try and complete that analysis, even though I think my supervisor had intended for me to do some of the co-worker's next tasks - perhaps so the co-worker could get an idea of how the correct process is carried out. The co-worker's claims that he has experience in that work don't bear out with the indicators that showed up today. I'd like to think tomorrow might be better, but right now I don't know. I told my suprevisor that I thought my tasks would be done no later than noon tomorrow and that I planned to go home then. He got quite upset about that. I've already given him three days past when I had to based on our contract and right now I don't feel any inclination to go out of my way to do any more. Not nice, but neither has he or the coworker been either. Shake the dust off my sandals and walk on, I think.

At home - more election work and now bed I think. Good night dear diary.

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