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Meltdown
I did a crash and burn today dear diary. Woke up with that sense of despair that nothing is ever going to change, that nothing I do ever seems to work out and that it nver will get any better. Couldn't even find enough energy to try counting my blessings. Too much emotional drain the past few days, added into the slow strangulation I felt in the weeks before. I knew I could feel something coming. The sense of that sword of Damocles hanging over one is just too much sometimes. The meltdown didn't really matter in a lot of ways. Number four son has a very nice young lady in his life right now, so we only see him whe she is busy. My oldest son came visiting last night with my grandson in tow and when he left my youngest tagged along for the night. He's over at his Dad's now visiting and won't be back until tomorrow. The cats were content as long as I kept their food and water bowls full. Normally they want to cuddle a lot, but I think they knew I needed to be left completely alone.
I did do some housework of course, but not the usual frenzied running that weekends tend to be. I also listened to the townhall meeting that was recorded for staff, at the company where I am currently assigned, so that they would have full details of the transactions taking place. That was useful because it explained some of the reasons the pattern of a divestment seemed out of whack. I was looking at the website of the company taking over the property and realized that, like a lot of the companies in this industry, it is really just another branch of the same conglomerate. That's not a term that's used any more, I think because the word monopoly comes with that. This is the senior parent company that has split itself off in several configurations over the past couple of decades. They merge and separate at will based on market conditions. I actually worked for one part of the parent company in a human relations position many years ago, when it had a different persona predating its current incarnation. I still maintain, dear diary, that all the companies in this industry are actually owned by a middle management government employee named Bob who lives in Winnipeg - the geographic center of Canada. He just likes to toy with his masters by making them think there is an entire industry here. When it appears that they've caught on to him, he shakes things up a bit to throw them off the scent. At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Nothing else to say though, I'm going to refill the bowls and top up the plates and tuck the cats and then me into bed. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
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