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12:04 AM - 01.02.05
Ponderous Thoughts
I had to wear a baseball cap at work this afternoon, dear diary. Remember this entry at the end of September at the last contract Glass_Eyes? Well the same thing happened today. Round about 1:30 pm I glanced up to see a nice young man looking down at me from a step ladder on the other side of the partition to my workstation. That's part of a main hallway and he was replacing the flourescent light in the panel. That light shines directly into my eyes at about a 45 degrees angle when I sit close to the computer - which of course I have to do all day right now. Within half an hour, the migraine it induced was so severe that I was losing my ability to see and my sense of balance. I could feel the urge to vomit, because of the pain, become stronger and stronger. I already guessed what the answer would likely be, but I went to the health and safety co-ordinator to ask if some lesser strength or different type of bulb could be used. It was obvious the last one wasn't the same intensity as this one, because I had had no difficulties up until the change. As I expected, his response was that the hallway was required to have a certain level of lighting and there wasn't anything he could do about that. I said I would bring a card dealer's shade in from home tomorrow so I could at least function. Shortly after he returned to my cubicle with his ball cap that has the company logo on it. Worked like a charm. It took another half hour before the nausea had receded and the pain was gone but the relief was immediate.

The safety co-ordinator has been trying to help me find a way to move the binders between the fileroom and the work station for several weeks now. Because the company does not own any wheeled conveyance for movement of records it has been to no avail. The two sites are at opposite ends of the building, of course. All I've had that was workable was the extra chair at my station that I've piled high with binders and wheeled between the two places. His job description requires him to remind me each time he sees me doing that, that that is not an authorized use of the furniture. However, the very low and tiny flatbed the compny has (if the receptionist would actually let me use it), added to the weight of most of the binders, would cause more harm to my lower back as would making several trips carrying them back and forth, instead of the one trip using the chair. The first time he called me on it, I just told him I'm seeing my chiropractor once every week now and that, much as I like his company, I don't want to see him any more than that. He laughed at the time, but it has caused some tension at the same time each time since he's watched me work. Just frustrating when you don't have access to the tools you need to do your job. I know the feeling.

At least the outcome with this problem arising today had a happy ending and we both came away pleased with the solution to the problem. I came home and found a cap that I can take in to work tomorrow, since his hat is awfully big and kept slipping in front of my eyes. Being still contact lensless meant that seeing anything was an issue, even after the migraine was gone. I could shift all the computer equipment around, but I am just a "squatter" in that cubicle and I really don't have the right to do that. It also doesn't make a lot of sense to change a whole workstation around when, theoretically, most of my data entry will be completed by the end of the week. At least it will be, if the constant disruptions to my day can be stopped. We'll see.

This morning I got up early, but was still running late for the bus. It pulled away as I was steaming up the sidewalk. I might have made it if I had chosen to run, but there is so much ice on the street right now I had an equal chance of falling and breaking one or several limbs. Think I'll just stick with being a bit late into work. As it turned out, two of the women I often chat with when they are on the same train also were running late and we all sat together on the way into town. They obviously knew each other from before and they work in the same complex, but different towers. The same complex I was working in last assignment. They both work in accounting and most of the talk was about their jobs. Fine by me - I'm always intersted to hear what other people do. Means I understand the larger world of the corporation and can improve my work habits, if I can understand how my function relates or interacts with theirs. Besides, I'm terminally inquisitive. We decided there must have been some arcane reason we all had to be late and travelling on the very same train today, but darned if we could figure out why.

Reached the work site about 15 minutes after my usual start time. Just continued on from where I'd left off on Friday - starting with the chair ritual between the fileroom and the workstation. There was no rsponse from my supervisor to the email I had sent on the weekend responding to his comments about the laptop. However, when I logged in to the company's network it was obvious that in some way the company techs had been advised and certain measures had been taken to tighten up security for me. Made me feel a little safer.

Some of the technical material I saw this morning is exactly what I think I need to read in order to expand my skills for when I go overseas to work - the fates willing, of course. I want to help countries run their own elections, but there is nothing meaningful in it for them if their citizens can't drink their own water or till their own fields without poisoning themselves or becoming sick from the parasites and toxins in them. Maslow's scale of needs, don't you know. First order - meeting basic needs - is always access to safe water, food and shelter. Decided to ask my tech from the election for verification of the materials' usefulness and asked if I could come with him on his next smoke break to talk about it. Did that at lunch. The other tape running in my head of course, was the one from the book I'm reading about the massacres in Rwanda a decade ago. Sort of classic description of what is found in a lot of third world countries. That information looped into our conversation to as I acknowledged I had forgotten that even before Maslow came the need to clear all the landmines and anti human devices used in war or civil strife. Sigh. This was the good news with respect to violence overseas Dirty_Laundry

Settled in to the new batch of documents I was indexing and realized that someone else probably needed to be asked to assess them. Legal and liability, with notes inside that gave pause. I've seen some of the material before in other configurations and they are some of the records I've been concerned about right from the first time I realized this company had them. I've mentioned my concern about them in some of the weekly meetings, but this is the first concrete evidence I can offer coming from an authoritative source. My mind was doing one of those "if this, then that" and "if that, then this" analysis of the implications of what I was seeing. It was important that it be dealt with so I went to talk with our liaison. She had her door closed all morning and had left the office right after around lunchtime. At that point I felt I needed direction whether to even have a record on my spreadsheet or whether the entries should be deleted for security reasons. Because I've been told to work with them, I can't delete them without authorization. I wasn't certain who else I could talk with. No one is authorized, as far as I know, within the company and my supervisor often doesn't get back to me directly or can be delayed in a response over a day or two. I was still feeling rattled about the damage to the laptop on Friday too and that was driving my thoughts in a lot of different directions - most of them probably wrong. However, the three breaches on my computer security last week couldn't be ignored either. Finally sent an email to my supervisor giving him the barest outline, hoping he'll catch the nuances of the questions I was posing.

Also touched briefly on it with my tech in that same smoke break we took at lunch - him smoking and me talking. Although it wasn't the same as the overseas issues, it was the same in terms of the problems that needed to be addressed. I also really needed to ask him where the boundaries were in our work relationship at this site. Briefly described the issue last Friday and asked if I could escape to his office if things became really bad like in the last contract. There was a reluctant yes and I understand that. My first recourse should always be to my supervisor, but getting a response or seeing an action half a day or more later isn't always enough. I don't think I can cope with another incident like that last one at the other assignment. Well yes I can if I have to, but for my own sense of safety I would like something else in place "just in case".

Anyway hopefully there will be no need this time. Time for bed I think.

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